In A Happy Holi-daze, Part 2

| NY, USA | Right | December 26, 2014

Me: “Happy Holidays!”

Customer: “It’s Merry Christmas you heathen!”

Me: “Really? I had no idea they cancelled Hanukkah, Ashura, Ramadan, and Yule this year!”

Related:
In A Happy Holi-Daze

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Belongs In The Car Fool Lane

| USA | Working | December 3, 2014

(My work is only a 10-minute walk from home. On the walk to work I pass a gas station with a small convenience section. I call in one day on the way into work to pick up some milk and a breakfast snack. I go to the counter to pay.)

Me: “Just this, please.”

Cashier #1: “What pump?”

Me: “I haven’t pumped gas; I just want to buy the milk and snack.”

Cashier #1: “Lady, I’m not an idiot, and I WILL call the Police if you leave without paying for what you pumped!”

Me: “I WALKED HERE! Look outside, there are NO cars parked in the forecourt!”

Cashier #1: “Well, you probably pumped and drove off round the corner when I was on the phone!”

Me: “Are you crazy?! Check the CCTV, or check your system; it will show I have not pulled up in a car, or pumped anything.”

(By this time, the shouting has drawn the attention of another cashier, thankfully who I had seen plenty of times before and who I knew well enough to exchange pleasantries with.)

Cashier #2: “[Cashier #1], what are you doing?”

Cashier #1: “This THIEF is trying to scam us out of paying her fuel!”

Cashier #2: “No, she works in the building next door. She comes in all the time; if you paid attention you’d know that.”

(She then rang me up for my items and I walked out the door, through the forecourt and round the corner to my office. As I rounded the corner, I looked back to see Cashier #1 still watching me as I walked to make sure I don’t have a secret car hidden round ‘the corner.’ At least it woke me up for the day!)

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Dude Needs Some Sleep

| Big Rapids, MI, USA | Right | November 22, 2014

(I’m working on register at about eight am when a middle-aged woman walks in. She is quite intoxicated.)

Customer: “I slept in the woods last night.”

Me: “Okay? How can I help you?”

Customer: “I had to put this flower in my hair because they said I looked like a dude. I’m not a dude. Do you think I look like a dude?”

Me: “No… What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need cigarettes. But they made me sleep outside in the woods. I don’t know where. But they kept calling me a dude!”

(I ring up her cigarettes hoping she leaves soon.)

Customer: “It’s like that song. Dude looks like a lady. Except the opposite. Lady looks like a dude. I’M NOT A DUDE!”

His Car Needs Some Juice

| TX, USA | Right | November 14, 2014

(I work at a grocery store that has a small gas station located in its parking lot. Every morning whoever opens goes and gets merchandise from inside the main store to stock our shelves, usually the supervisor. I am the mid-shift so I watch the register and help the opener stock when I can. My supervisor and I are outside stocking sodas when I see a man walking towards the mostly empty gas station with an empty juice jug in hand. I think to myself he probably just needs water for his car. I am inside the kiosk selling gas to another customer when the man with the jug approaches the window.)

Customer: “I need to get some gas.” *starts digging in his pockets*

Me: “And you want to put it in that?” *motions to jug*

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “I can’t do that, sir. It’s not a proper container. It must read ‘flammable’. We do however sell gas cans for [price].”

(I try to steer him away from this, as it is dangerous. On top of that gas is high and he’d probably spill more than he got in his vehicle.)

Customer: “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

Supervisor: *standing right behind him* “I’m the manager out here.”

(He took off after that, leaving his juice jug ON TOP of the garbage can.)

Broken Eastern Promises

| Hay, AB, Canada | Right | November 6, 2014

(There is a smaller highway that ends in the city, and another one that starts. I work at a gas station between the two so we get a lot of people driving through.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but how do I get back on Highway #3?”

Me: *gives directions*

Customer: “No. I mean the other way. We just came from [City Two Hours Away].*

Me: “No, that’s the only way. Highway #3 ends here. Did you want Highway #41?”

Customer: “I don’t think so. I’m headed to [Destination].”

(My dad has just walked in to pick me up from work.)

Me: “And you said you came from [City Two Hours Away]?”

Customer: “Yes. Why, what’s wrong?”

(I’m speechless at this point, but my dad helps her, and the owner confirms what he says.)

Dad: “You turned the wrong way. You have to head back; you just lost about seven hours driving time…”

(What should have been two hours turned into more than seven hours driving and an overnight stay. Guess they didn’t know when the sun is setting BEHIND you, you aren’t traveling west…)

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