Nothing To Tip Him Off

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(My coworker and I are working at a gas station while our manager is working in the back room. A customer comes up to the register.)

Customer: “Can I get a wine (tobacco product)?”

(Because these products come in either wood tip or plastic tip, we always ask the customer which they would like if they don’t specify.)

Coworker: “Wood or plastic tip?”

Customer: “Wine.”

Coworker: “Yes. Wood or plastic?”

Customer: “WINE.”

Coworker: “WOOD or PLASTIC?”

(This continues on for another minute or two until they are near shouting at each other, despite my coworker acknowledging the request for wine-flavor. My manager comes around the corner with her phone out.)

Manager: “Sir, she’s asking you very clearly which kind of wine (tobacco product) you would like: one with a wood tip, or one with a plastic tip.”

(The customer has a dumbfounded look for a moment, and then slaps his hand to his forehead in embarrassment.)

Customer: “OH! Oh, my goodness. I’m SO sorry! Plastic tip, please!”

(We all start laughing as my coworker shakes her head and begins checking the man out. Before he leaves, he looks at my manager, who is still standing next to me, giggling.)

Customer: “Why did you come out with your phone out, anyways?”

Manager: “Oh, because it was just too perfect! I had to get it on video or no one would ever believe it really happened!”

(She had recorded the exchange, and has since showed it to some of my other coworkers who couldn’t believe that this even happened. The man still comes in and has since remembered to specify which kind of tip he would like on his product.)

Playing With Fire

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a gas station that is a part of a larger superstore. We get a lot of calls to the gas station from customers trying to reach the store, but we can’t transfer them to the store from the station. This call happens during a crisis involving the main store catching on fire. Smoke and flames are clearly visible from the gas station, and it looks pretty bad. Everyone has been evacuated from the main store.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Gas Station]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Toy department.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is actually the gas statio—”

Customer: *louder* “TOY DEPARTMENT.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but this is just the gas station. I cannot transfer you from here. Normally I’d give you the number for the main store. But, um, everyone’s evacuated because the store is kind of on fire right now.”

Customer: “What? TOY DEPARTMENT, for Christ’s sake! Why won’t you just help me?”

Me: “As I said before, ma’am, THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to call back at a later time. There is no one in the store to take your call right now.”

Customer: “WHY THE H*** NOT?!”

Not One’s Cup Of Tea

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am waiting in line at a petrol station that sells coffees, snacks, and other small grocery items as well as petrol. The customer in front of me is speaking to the cashier.)

Customer: “I just want two tea bags, please.”

Cashier: “Do you mean you want two teas to go?”

Customer: “No, I just want to pay for two tea bags on their own.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. We can’t just sell you individual tea bags. We have boxes of 20 tea bags over on the shelves that you can buy.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “I don’t understand. Can’t you just take two tea bags from the box and sell them to me?”

Cashier: “No, we can’t do that.”

(The customer turns to me with a look of disbelief on her face.)

Customer: *to me* “Why can’t they just sell me two tea bags?!”

Me: “Because they don’t have individual tea bags as an item in their computer system so they can’t just charge you for this arbitrary item. They are not items that are for sale individually.”

Customer: “Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!”

Me: “Uh, YOU did.”

(The customer leaves in a huff while shooting me a dirty look.)