Live By The Sword And Following A Code(words)

, | Armstrong, BC, Canada | Right | March 5, 2015

(My coworker goes outside to help some customers on our full-serve pumps, while I stay inside to watch the store. As he walks back in, one customer follows. I recognise him as a regular, and also a bit of an oddball. When they enter, the following conversation ensues.)

Customer: “It was nice talking to you. It was good.”

(He holds out his hand, and my coworker shakes it, somewhat dubiously.)

Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

Customer: “We’ll meet tomorrow at the same place as usual. Under the bridge.”

(I have no idea what he’s talking about, and it’s clear from his expression that my coworker has no idea either. However, he nods and goes with it.)

Customer: “10 o’clock. Make sure you bring your sword.”

Coworker: “…yeah, for sure.”

(The customer then leaves. As soon as he’s gone, my coworker and I look at each other incredulously.)

Me: “What the f*** was that?”

Coworker: “I have no idea! That was weird. Oh, wait, he’s coming back.”

(Sure enough, the customer is walking back inside.)

Customer: “I’ll need to get a new sword, though. Mine shattered last time. So, yeah I’ll need a new one. See you tomorrow. 10 o’clock.”

Coworker: “Yeah, yeah, sure. See you there.”

Stealing Away For A Break

| SA, Australia | Working | February 19, 2015

(I work at a petrol station. As is the case with many stations, we do get theft, but have been told to never single anyone out or judge people on appearance. A coworker and I notice a customer coming in, the only one as it is around 11 pm at the time.)

Coworker: *loudly, but whispering to me* “LOOK AT HIM!” *points to the customer*

Me: “Yes? What about him?”

Coworker: “He’s CLEARLY going to steal something. You can just tell. I’m going to check the cameras!”

Me: “Okay… then?”

(A couple of other customers come in the pay for their petrol or buy small items. As she has left me alone, I am the only one on the checkouts now. I serve all three quickly. The original customer comes up last.)

Me: “Is that all today?”

Customer: “Yes, thanks.”

Me: “By the way… and sorry if this is left field. I’m in no way accusing you of anything here.. but you haven’t got anything in your pockets, have you, sir?”

(The customer laughs a bit, then winks at me, pulling out his wallet to pay. It’s got a police officer’s badge on it.)

Customer: “I should hope I don’t. I don’t really feel like calling it in off-duty.”

(We both laughed and I explained the coworker had ran upstairs to monitor him because he was wearing a hoodie in the store. We laughed more at this and went on with our day. The coworker came back about half an hour later, having taken a nice, relaxing break on the cameras – and I had a line of eight customers who were getting grumpy at the wait for a simple purchase.)

Leaving

| Bristol, CT, USA | Working | February 13, 2015

(I recently moved from Los Angeles, CA, to Small Town, CT, for work at a specific sports company based in Connecticut. I haven’t gotten around to changing over my California driver’s license yet. I make the mistake of stopping in to buy cigarettes.)

Me: “Hi. Can I have a pack of [Brand]?”

Cashier: “Sure, can I see ID?”

Me: “Of course, here you go.”

Cashier: “California?!”

Me: “Yup, just moved here. I’ll get an updated ID soon.”

Cashier: *practically screeching* “WHY ARE YOU IN CONNECTICUT, THEN?!”

Me: “I lost my job in Los Angeles, and it’s really expensive to live there even with a job, so I moved back east to stay with family and then I was offered a job at [Well Known Company just up the road]. I couldn’t say no.”

Cashier: *snotty now* “Why in the world would you ever leave California? I mean you could live on the beach if you were homeless; it’s not like you’d need money!”

Me: “Um, no, I have student loans and other bills that need to get paid. Besides, it’s not everyday you’re offered a job, so it’s kind a really good opportunity.”

Cashier: “I don’t care. You NEVER should have left California. I don’t care what kind of job I was offered. I would have never left!”

Me: “Okay, well, good for you. Career-wise it made sense for me to move to work here.”

Cashier: “I don’t care. I can’t believe you would move. That’s just so crazy. Why would you do that?!”

Me: “Okay, that’s enough. Give me cigarettes and my beverage and stop questioning my life choices, unless you want me to start asking about yours!”

Cashier: “Well, fine, but there is no need to get snotty about it!”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(As I’m leaving she calls out again:)

Cashier: “I just don’t understand why you would leave California! You’re crazy!”

Should Try The Self-Checkout Next Time

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Working | February 9, 2015

(I am the customer in this story, buying drinks from a gas station. I work in retail myself. The cashier rings me out like normal until after the last register beep.)

Me: “Did you find everything you needed today?”

Cashier: *looking at me like I have horns*

Me: “Oh, my god, I cannot believe I just did that. I’m a cashier myself and didn’t realize how much of a habit that had become! I’m so sorry!”

Cashier: *dies of laughter*

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Never Too Old To Have A Crack At It

| TN, USA | Romantic | January 24, 2015

(An elderly man about 80 years old with a cane walks into the service station I work at and buys two 24 packs of water. I decided it would be nice to help him out to his car with them.)

Old Man: “You sure are a pretty young lady.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Old Man: “How old are you?”

Me: “24…”

Old Man: “I sure do like pretty young ladies. The girl I am dating now is 26.”

Me: *frowns*

Old Man: “She’s pregnant and she’s a crack w****. I’m going to get it tested when it comes out. I don’t think it’s mine. She actually prefers black guys but is just with me for my money so I am looking for a new woman. You interested?”

Me: “Not at all, sir. Now you have a nice day and good luck with… all that.”

(I shove his water in the car and walk back to the store face-palming all the way. When I get back in I tell my coworker what the old man said.)

Coworker: “I could have told you that would happen. I know him; he’s like that.”

Me: ” …then why didn’t you?!”

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