Playing With Fire

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a gas station that is a part of a larger superstore. We get a lot of calls to the gas station from customers trying to reach the store, but we can’t transfer them to the store from the station. This call happens during a crisis involving the main store catching on fire. Smoke and flames are clearly visible from the gas station, and it looks pretty bad. Everyone has been evacuated from the main store.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Gas Station]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Toy department.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is actually the gas statio—”

Customer: *louder* “TOY DEPARTMENT.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but this is just the gas station. I cannot transfer you from here. Normally I’d give you the number for the main store. But, um, everyone’s evacuated because the store is kind of on fire right now.”

Customer: “What? TOY DEPARTMENT, for Christ’s sake! Why won’t you just help me?”

Me: “As I said before, ma’am, THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to call back at a later time. There is no one in the store to take your call right now.”

Customer: “WHY THE H*** NOT?!”

Not One’s Cup Of Tea

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am waiting in line at a petrol station that sells coffees, snacks, and other small grocery items as well as petrol. The customer in front of me is speaking to the cashier.)

Customer: “I just want two tea bags, please.”

Cashier: “Do you mean you want two teas to go?”

Customer: “No, I just want to pay for two tea bags on their own.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. We can’t just sell you individual tea bags. We have boxes of 20 tea bags over on the shelves that you can buy.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “I don’t understand. Can’t you just take two tea bags from the box and sell them to me?”

Cashier: “No, we can’t do that.”

(The customer turns to me with a look of disbelief on her face.)

Customer: *to me* “Why can’t they just sell me two tea bags?!”

Me: “Because they don’t have individual tea bags as an item in their computer system so they can’t just charge you for this arbitrary item. They are not items that are for sale individually.”

Customer: “Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!”

Me: “Uh, YOU did.”

(The customer leaves in a huff while shooting me a dirty look.)

Driving Down Route 66(6)

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays, Religion, Top

(It is late evening, a few days before Halloween. My coworker at the register has been dealing with an irate woman for several minutes. She is ranting about the cheap decorations hanging on our door. As a result a line is forming behind her.)

Customer: “I’ll never shop here again! Everything in here is cursed! You’ll be attracting the demon spawns of the devil!”

(I come up to the second register to deal with the line forming behind the customer. Most of the other customers shift over to me, but one younger woman is watching the first customer rant. Suddenly, the younger woman turns and runs out of the store. And a second later, she comes back in wearing the most amazing, and yet disgusting, full-head mask I’ve ever seen. It looks like a rotting deer, complete with antlers, shaggy fur, and wide dead white eyes. The younger woman walks up to the ranting customer and clears her throat loudly.)

Younger Woman: *to my coworker* “Dude, I need $20 on pump four for my ‘Hell-mobile.'” *turns to the first customer* “And what’s your problem with us demons, anyway? Even the devil needs a place to buy gas and beer.”

(The first customer turns and stares at the younger woman for a long moment. Then the first customer actually screams and runs out of the store, leaving all of her items behind.)

Younger Woman: “I hope that lady wasn’t buying gas. I don’t think she’s coming back.”