Your Annoyance Level Is Up To The High Teens

, , , , , , , | Right | September 10, 2017

(I work the overnight shift alone from 10 pm to 6 am. I usually get the local cops in at the beginning of my shift, since they are starting their shift as well, and they also come by a few times a night, just to check in and say hi. Around 3 am one Sunday morning, another regular, who is shy and has a social disability, comes in to get his coffee and wait for his ride. As I’m finishing with him. two teenage boys come in.)

Me: *to regular* “Thanks for shopping at [Gas Station] and I’ll see you tomorrow.” *to teenagers* “Can I help you two with anything?”

Teenager #1: “Yeah, I’d like some cigarettes. [Brand].”

Me: “Certainly. I’ll just need to see some ID.”

Teenager #1: “I left it at the house. Can you let it slide this once? Besides, I only live right down the street.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to anyone that looks under 30 without an ID. Besides, if you live right down the street, then it should be no problem to get your ID.”

Teenager #1: “C’mon, man, just let it slide this once. I can tell you my birthday. It’s [date].”

Me: “Well, sir, if that is your birthday, then you are only 16. I can’t sell the cigarettes to you, but feel free to get anything else.”

Teenager #2: “Here, I’ll get them then. I just turned 18 and I have my ID.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but I can’t sell them to you, since I know you are buying them for your friend, who I know is underage.”

Teenager #2: “But I’m 18!”

Teenager #1: “Don’t be a d***. Nobody will notice at this time of night.”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s not worth my job.”

(The two teenagers leave, and I see them go up to my regular, who is still waiting in the parking lot, and talk to him for a minute. My regular walks back in.)

Regular: “Can I get a pack of [Cigarette Brand Teenager Asked For]?”

Me: “I actually can’t. I know you don’t smoke, and I know those boys just asked you to get them cigarettes. Tell them I’m not selling them cigarettes, and they can’t get anyone else to buy them for them.”

(My regular leaves and talks to the teens. He gets picked up around five minutes later, but the teens are still loitering. I ignore them, as there isn’t anyone else in the store or parking lot, and start to mop while the store is slow. About 20 minutes later, the teens come in and get some nachos, making a mess in the process. As they come to check out, I notice the reek of alcohol.)

Teenager #2: “I’d like these nachos.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. Can I get you anything else?”

Teenager #2: “Yeah, I’d like a pack of [Same Cigarette Brand].”

Me: “I told you 20 minutes ago that I wouldn’t sell you cigarettes. Now, you need to pay for the nachos and leave.”

(They end up grumbling, but pay for their food and leave. However, they don’t leave the parking lot, and instead hang around eating their food. I ignore them again and start making coffee. About ten minutes later, one of my older regulars shows up. He stops to talk to the boys on the way in, and then comes into the store.)

Me: “Hey, [Older Regular].”

(All the coffee is fresh, and once I finish with the trash, I can take a break and come outside and chat.)

Older Regular: “You know those boys are asking for people to buy them cigarettes, don’t you? I told them I wouldn’t, and that you knew I didn’t smoke anyway.”

Me: “Okay, well, I’ve had about enough of this.” *I go outside and talk to the teenagers.* “You guys need to leave now. You can’t loiter here, and you can’t keep harassing my customers to illegally buy you tobacco.”

Teenager #1: “Well, why don’t you make us? We ain’t doing nothing!”

Teenager #2: “Yeah, and this wouldn’t have happened if you’d been f***ing cool about it.”

(Fed up with this, I call dispatch, and explain to them about the two drunk teens. Two minutes later, I have three cop cars pull in and corner these two kids. One tries to run and is caught almost instantly. My regular and I go outside to watch.)

Cop: *also a regular* “Hey, [My Name]. These two the only ones who were bothering you?”

Me: “Yeah. So, what are you going to do to them?”

Cop: “We’ll take them down to the station and throw them in the drunk tank. We’ll call their parents once they sober up. Usually putting the fear of God in them is enough. Call us if they ever show up on your shift again!”

(My regular and I walked away laughing. It certainly made the rest of my shift more enjoyable, and the teens had a great story to tell at school Monday!)

Unfiltered Story #92632

, | Unfiltered | September 6, 2017

This is back in the days when gas station attendants pumped gas for you, and gas was only 40¢ per gallon. It’s a hot summer day. Note that the station is on a superhighway, so we get customers from all over the world, and our orders can vary widely.

A customer drives up to the pump, but will not roll down his window. He wildly gesticulates 5 fingers at me.
Me (speaking loudly at the window): Five dollars or five gallons, sir.
Customer: continues to wave his hand at me
Me: Five dollars or five gallons, sir?
Customer: continues to wave his hand at me
Me: Five dollars or five gallons, sir?
Customer finally rolls down the window: Five dollars
He then quickly rolls the window back up.
Me (smugly): Regular or high-test, sir?

Unfiltered Story #92615

, , | Unfiltered | September 4, 2017

In the state of Iowa, ethanol in super unleaded fuel is subsidized so it is typically much less expensive than regular unleaded. I was working at a gas station off the interstate that had a large sign visible from the highway and a street sign that only displayed our lowest-price fuel, Super Unleaded. This customer from out-of-state came in upset after pumping gas, accusing me of over-charging him and misleading customers about our price per gallon. I apologized and said I’d look into it and walked out to the dispenser with him. I looked it over, nodded, and pointed at the PPG display above each grade and said, “Yeah, this is all correct. See? Regular is (ppg) and super is (ppg) just like the sign says” as I point to the street sign. Steam starts shooting out of this guys ears and he responds, “Well, you could’ve made that sign larger!” I replied, “We did,” as I point to the massive sign visible from the highway looming over the store. Customer: “Uh… Yeah… Well, you’re starving Mexicans!” Me: “What???” Customer: “You are personably responsible for the deaths of millions of Mexicans! Does that make you happy? This is bullshit!” “Ok, then. Have a nice day,” as I turned and walked back inside.

Declining Their Good Service

, , , , | Right | August 28, 2017

(This happens while I am working at a gas station/truck stop over breaks in college. It is summer, 2004.)

Customer: “The pump out there won’t take my card. Fix it.”

(All pumps have cars at the moment.)

Me: “Which pump?”

(Customer points vaguely to the front window.)

Customer: “That one.”

Me: “Okay, which pump number?”

Customer: “It’s the one with the silver Chevy SUV. Get it fixed; I’m in a hurry.”

(I go to the pump console, which has a flashing notification on his pump.)

Me: “Okay, I’m pulling up the pump info right now. It takes a bit of time to load right now.”

Customer: “Hurry up, will ya?”

Me: “It’s loading.”

Coworker: *to me* “Hey, I need to cut the label off something. Do we still have those scissors?”

Me: “Let me check.”

(I start looking around the accumulated stuff around the pump console, which looks like a junk drawer.)

Customer: “Oh, you have time to help that b**** find her scissors but you can’t help a paying f****** customer? I told you I was in a hurry, but I’m f****** leaving.”

(Pump information finally loads; I hit the button to activate the speakers on all eight pumps.)

Me: “Pump seven, your card has been declined. Again, pump seven, the silver Chevy SUV, your card has been declined.”

You’re Going To Pay (Inside) For That

, , , , | Right | August 27, 2017

(I work in a gas station with the option to select “pay inside” on the gas pump, which allows you to fill up first before paying. This button alerts us that someone wants to pay inside and then we are able to approve the pump to start without pre-payment.)

Customer: *walks up to counter* “Hey, if I give you my license will you turn my pump on so I can fill up?”

Me: “I don’t need your license, ma’am. If you go outside and select the ‘pay inside’ button I can start the pump for you.”

Customer: “I don’t get it. Why can’t I fill up my car and then pay inside?”

Me: “You can. I just won’t be able to turn on the pump until you hit the button.”

Customer: “But they let me do that at other gas stations all the time!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m saying when you go outside to start pumping, you just have to hit the ‘pay inside’ button before you select the fuel grade.”

Customer: “You know, whatever! I’ll just go to [Gas Station down the road] instead! This is ridiculous!”

(The customer starts to walk out door, then turns around and comes back.)

Customer: “Just put $20 on it! Whatever!” *begins to storm out again*

Me: “Miss, what pump are you at?”

Customer: *yelling, as if I can read minds and know which of many vehicles belongs to her* “Oh, my god! Five!”

(The gas station down the road she said she would go to instead is strictly pre-pay only.)

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