Sticking To Her Expectations

| USA | Right | October 12, 2015

(I work at a chain grocery store. I’d just gotten out of work and went to a gas station to put gas in my car. As I was sliding my card, I suddenly hear yelling from behind me. I turn around to see a little girl, four years old, tops, in a pink dress, bolting across the parking lot, her father hot in pursuit.)

Girl: “Hi! Are you from the store?”

Me: “Yep!”

Girl: *hands on hips* “Do you have something for me?”

(Our cashiers often give stickers to kids. She must be a regular customer with her parents.)

Me: “Sorry, hun, I left all my stickers at the [Company]’s store. Next time you come in, ask for [My Name] and I’ll give you a lot of stickers, okay?”

Girl: “Okay.” *she thinks about this, and then looks up at me* “Why are you not at the [Company]’s store? Don’t you live there?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I just needed to put some gas in this car. Is that okay with you?”

Girl: *nodding thoughtfully* “Yes, I guess you can do that if you want to.”

(Her dad finally caught up to her and picked her up and started apologizing profusely, but I just smiled and said she made my day. I told her that she had to listen to her dad from now on and she agreed.)

Well Crossplayed Mom

| UK | Related | September 22, 2015

(I have just come back from a four day convention where about half the attendees wear costumes. I’m known for ‘crossplaying’ – wearing a costume of the opposite gender – so I have a f2m breast compressor in order to help, note that I’m a fairly busty female. My mum has picked me up from the train station and had stopped to get petrol. I go into the garage with her as I want something to eat. At the check out;)

Mum: “Oh, did you mean to leave your booby squisher bra at home?”

Me: “…my what?”

Mum: “You know—” *pushes her breasts down* “—no boobs—” *lets them go* “—boobs!”

Me: “My breast compressor?”

Mum: “Yes, did you mean to leave it at home?”

Me: “Well yeah, I was doing all female characters this time.”

(I suddenly realise the male clerk has stopped scanning and is looking completely bemused.)

Mum: *to the clerk* “She has a booby flattener. It makes her boobs disappear. I didn’t think it would as she has such big ones, but it really does!”

The Cone Of Despair

| Savannah, GA, USA | Right | September 22, 2015

(One of the pumps are blocked off by two orange cones.)

Customer: “Is pump five working?”

Me: “No, sir, it has two cones on it.”

Customer: “Yes, I know but is it working.”

Me: “No, sir. It is out of order hence the cones.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I wasn’t sure because there wasn’t a sign.”

Been There, Sold That, Got The T-Shirt

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Working | September 7, 2015

(I get a job via a temp agency to peddle a credit card offer for an out-of-state bank at a gas station for three separate four-hour shifts. This is my first conversation with my contact from the bank.)

Me: “So, people are applying for a credit card for an out-of-state bank? Is there anything else they get?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, they get an “America” t-shirt!”

Me: “Anything else? Do they get anything else? Like a gas card or something?”

Supervisor: “No, just the shirt.”

Me: “It sounds to me that it would be a tough sell on a t-shirt alone.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, but since 9/11 people will do a lot of stuff for America, so the shirt should be enough.”

(From start to finish, the entire job is a fiasco. There is supposed to be a supervisor from the bank as well as another employee, yet neither manifest. I am told to I HAVE wear one of the t-shirts that the bank is offering despite the fact that none are in my size. Worst of all, two hours before the end of my last humiliating shift, I get a call from my contact at the bank and I relate to him my trials in trying to get people to apply for a credit card with only a shirt to offer in return.)

Supervisor: “You mean no one’s wanting the gas card either?”

Me: “What gas card?”

Supervisor: “Oh, yeah, there’s a ten dollar gas card for applying. Didn’t you know?”

Me: *now frustrated* “NO! I even asked you when I started if there was anything else! I would’ve gotten at least double the signatures if I’d known about the gas card!”

Supervisor: “OH! Well, they get the gas card just for applying.”

(The original goal for the bonus was fifty signatures, but they cut it down to ten, seeing as I’d had such issues. I still missed it by one signature.)

The Price Of A Lift

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Working | September 2, 2015

(I have just finished working graveyard one night, when my boss offers me a ride home. When I accept, she asks if I am willing to do a favor for her.)

Boss: “Before I take you home, I was wondering if you’d be willing to go to [Competitor] to get the price of cigarettes to price match for me? As they know me.”

Me: “Uh, sure.”

(We drive to the other store.)

Boss: “Now, [My Name], just ask them and make sure they don’t think you’re from our store. The manager there knows me.”

Me: “Not a problem.”

(I button up my jacket to hide my work shirt and get the prices.)

Me: “The prices were [prices].”

Boss: “Good work, [My Name], but did you realize you took [Company]’s fountain cup in with you?”

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