Live By The Sword And Following A Code(words)

, | Armstrong, BC, Canada | Bizarre

(My coworker goes outside to help some customers on our full-serve pumps, while I stay inside to watch the store. As he walks back in, one customer follows. I recognise him as a regular, and also a bit of an oddball. When they enter, the following conversation ensues.)

Customer: “It was nice talking to you. It was good.”

(He holds out his hand, and my coworker shakes it, somewhat dubiously.)

Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

Customer: “We’ll meet tomorrow at the same place as usual. Under the bridge.”

(I have no idea what he’s talking about, and it’s clear from his expression that my coworker has no idea either. However, he nods and goes with it.)

Customer: “10 o’clock. Make sure you bring your sword.”

Coworker: “…yeah, for sure.”

(The customer then leaves. As soon as he’s gone, my coworker and I look at each other incredulously.)

Me: “What the f*** was that?”

Coworker: “I have no idea! That was weird. Oh, wait, he’s coming back.”

(Sure enough, the customer is walking back inside.)

Customer: “I’ll need to get a new sword, though. Mine shattered last time. So, yeah I’ll need a new one. See you tomorrow. 10 o’clock.”

Coworker: “Yeah, yeah, sure. See you there.”

Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

| Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(Near the end of my night shift I have been held up. The doors are smashed to pieces, there are at least four police cars on the forecourt (including the dog unit), several police in the store and crime scene tape across the entrance. While being interviewed by a detective I notice a regular walking up to the door.)

Policeman: “You can’t go in there, ma’am.

(He is on the other side of the forecourt, too far away to stop her. The customer ignores him and moves the cones.)

Policeman: “Ma’am! You can’t go in. They’re closed.”

(She ignores him again, ducks under the tape and weaves her way through the shattered glass past two more shocked policemen. After picking up the newspaper she walks to the counter.)

Manager: “We’re closed.”

Customer: “Oh. Really? Why?”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

Has A Load Of Explaining To Do

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I am helping an older couple buy lottery tickets. They have a ten dollar bill, and their total is at nine dollars.)

Wife: “Why not get one more 1$ dollar ticket. I’ll blow my load!”

(I am thinking: do not laugh at that! You are an adult. That was an innocent statement meaning she’ll spend all her money. Maintain composure! Unfortunately she says it again, and the husband and I make eye contact and die laughing.)

Husband: *mutters* “It means something different these days; I’ll explain on the way home.”

(I can only imagine what that conversation was like!)