(My coworker and I are working at a gas station while our manager is working in the back room. A customer comes up to the register.)

Customer: “Can I get a wine (tobacco product)?”

(Because these products come in either wood tip or plastic tip, we always ask the customer which they would like if they don’t specify.)

Coworker: “Wood or plastic tip?”

Customer: “Wine.”

Coworker: “Yes. Wood or plastic?”

Customer: “WINE.”

Coworker: “WOOD or PLASTIC?”

(This continues on for another minute or two until they are near shouting at each other, despite my coworker acknowledging the request for wine-flavor. My manager comes around the corner with her phone out.)

Manager: “Sir, she’s asking you very clearly which kind of wine (tobacco product) you would like: one with a wood tip, or one with a plastic tip.”

(The customer has a dumbfounded look for a moment, and then slaps his hand to his forehead in embarrassment.)

Customer: “OH! Oh, my goodness. I’m SO sorry! Plastic tip, please!”

(We all start laughing as my coworker shakes her head and begins checking the man out. Before he leaves, he looks at my manager, who is still standing next to me, giggling.)

Customer: “Why did you come out with your phone out, anyways?”

Manager: “Oh, because it was just too perfect! I had to get it on video or no one would ever believe it really happened!”

(She had recorded the exchange, and has since showed it to some of my other coworkers who couldn’t believe that this even happened. The man still comes in and has since remembered to specify which kind of tip he would like on his product.)

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(I’m the general manager at a gas station. We’ve always had problems with scammers trying to activate gift cards over the phone, but lately they’ve gotten a lot more annoying. I’m working with a new hire when I answer the phone. We’re both fluent in sign language.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m from [Company] customer support. We’ve received an automatic error report from your location, and I’m calling to confirm. Did you recently have trouble activating a gift card?”

Me: *signs* “It’s a scammer.” *out loud* “No, not that I’ve been aware of.”

Caller: “Hmm, that’s odd. Can you please ring up a gift card and check the activation code?”

New Hire: *signs* “Can I mess with him? Pretty please?”

Me: *signs* “Sure.” *out loud* “Here, let me get my manager.” *passes the phone*

New Hire: “‘Dirty Dan’s House of Hookers,’ you got the dough and we got the blow! How can I help you today?

Caller: *hangs up*

(He’s a keeper!)

(I work in a gas station that is a part of a larger superstore. We get a lot of calls to the gas station from customers trying to reach the store, but we can’t transfer them to the store from the station. This call happens during a crisis involving the main store catching on fire. Smoke and flames are clearly visible from the gas station, and it looks pretty bad. Everyone has been evacuated from the main store.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Gas Station]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Toy department.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is actually the gas statio—”

Customer: *louder* “TOY DEPARTMENT.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but this is just the gas station. I cannot transfer you from here. Normally I’d give you the number for the main store. But, um, everyone’s evacuated because the store is kind of on fire right now.”

Customer: “What? TOY DEPARTMENT, for Christ’s sake! Why won’t you just help me?”

Me: “As I said before, ma’am, THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to call back at a later time. There is no one in the store to take your call right now.”

Customer: “WHY THE H*** NOT?!”

(It is 2013. I am 20 years old and I stop buy the gas station store on my way back from a walk.)

Me: “Can I get a $2 scratcher ticket, please.”

Cashier: “Can I see ID?”

Me: “Sure!” *shows ID that clearly states my birthday and in big letters: ’18 in 2011’*

Cashier: *stares blankly* “You are over 18?”

Me: “Yes. I was born in 1993.”

Cashier: *looks down at ID again* “So you are over 18?”

Me: “Yes. I am 20. I turned 18 two years ago.”

Cashier: *looks at me really confused and back down at my ID*

Me: *slightly frustrated* “I was born in 1993, it is 2013. It has been 20 years.”

(By this point another customer has gotten behind me in line and witnessed the exchange.)

Cashier: *blankly* “So you are over 18?”

Next Customer Behind Me: “Dude, she is clearly over 18! Just give her the d*** ticket already!”

(After looking at my ID again and handing back my ID really tentatively, the cashier finally sells me the ticket. I grab it and as I rush out. I mutter thanks to the other customer. I am guessing the cashier was either having a long day, or was just really bad at simple math.)

(I am waiting in line at a petrol station that sells coffees, snacks, and other small grocery items as well as petrol. The customer in front of me is speaking to the cashier.)

Customer: “I just want two tea bags, please.”

Cashier: “Do you mean you want two teas to go?”

Customer: “No, I just want to pay for two tea bags on their own.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry. We can’t just sell you individual tea bags. We have boxes of 20 tea bags over on the shelves that you can buy.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “I don’t understand. Can’t you just take two tea bags from the box and sell them to me?”

Cashier: “No, we can’t do that.”

(The customer turns to me with a look of disbelief on her face.)

Customer: *to me* “Why can’t they just sell me two tea bags?!”

Me: “Because they don’t have individual tea bags as an item in their computer system so they can’t just charge you for this arbitrary item. They are not items that are for sale individually.”

Customer: “Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!”

Me: “Uh, YOU did.”

(The customer leaves in a huff while shooting me a dirty look.)