(It’s just about closing time. I am preparing the paperwork and getting the tills counted. A customer walks in and heads back to look at the drinks. He’s still shopping when closing time hits, and we turn out the lights. I’m going to lock the doors, when a new customer starts walking up to the door I’m about to lock.)

Customer: “Oh! You’re closing. I’ll go elsewhere.” *turns to leave*

Me: “No, it’s fine. Come on in.”

Customer: “Nah, it’s all right. I’ve worked retail; I know how much it sucks to get kept after close.”

Me: “No, really. There’s already a guy in here. You won’t be slowing us down.”

Customer: “Ah, okay, thanks.”

(He comes in, heads straight to what he wants, and brings it to the counter. Elapsed time, 20 seconds. He sees I have the drawer open and am counting cash when he walks up.)

Customer: “Are you counting out the drawer?”

Me: “Yeah, just hoping to get a head start on getting out of here.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll use credit then. Thanks for staying open for me.”

Me: “It’s no problem. Thank you for doing that!”

(He swipes his card and heads out. After he leaves, the original customer comes up to the counter. He throws down a hundred dollar bill for his under-$10 purchase, then looks around at the darkened store.)

Customer #2: “Are you guys closing?”

(I work at a gas station that doesn’t require customers to prepay for gas. And yes, the pumps do display the number of gallons a customer pumps.)

Me: “Hi! Were you on pump two?”

Customer: “How many gallons did I pump?”

Me: “I can’t figure that out until you pay. I can print you out a receipt if you would like.”

Customer: “I just want to know how many gallons I pumped!”

Me: “I can’t tell you right now, but if you pay the $52.70 I can give you the receipt and it will say the amount you pumped.”

Customer: “WHY THE H*** CAN’T YOU TELL ME THE GALLONS?!”

Me: “I can get a calculator and divide the amount you owe by the price of gas, but it would be faster if you paid and I got you a receipt.”

Customer: *angrily throws money on the counter and walks out*

Me: *before he even reaches the door I have the receipt printed* “IT WAS FOURTEEN POINT TWO EIGHT GALLONS, SIR!”

(When customers pre-pay for gas with a credit card, but their vehicle won’t take as much as they’ve put on it, the system automatically refunds the remaining portion onto the card that was used. This conversation takes place near the end of a 10-hour shift.)

Customer: *in a not-so-nice tone* “I sent a kid in here earlier to get gas and he only pumped $17, but I was charged for $25. Why was I over-charged?”

Me: *looks at his receipt* “Oh, well, it looks like they pre-paid for gas and it was charged to a credit card. The remaining portion would have been automatically refunded to your card.”

Customer: “I need a receipt showing that it refunded.”

Me: “I am so sorry, sir, but I can only print receipts for the past 10 transactions, and it looks like the kid you sent in got gas well over two hours ago. There isn’t a way for me to pull it up.”

Customer: “Well how the h*** am I supposed to know that it refunded? How do I know you didn’t steal my money?”

Me: “As soon as the nozzle on the pump is hung back up, it refunds automatically. You could actually call your credit company right now, and it would show that the balance is there.”

Customer: “No! I will not call them! I want you to show me proof right now that you didn’t steal my money!”

Me: “As I just said, there is nothing I can do. It’s been several hours since this transaction took place, so I can’t look it up. I assure you, if you would just call…”

Customer: “I need you to write down that I only pumped $17 worth of gas and sign it so I can dispute it when it charges me $25 on my bill!”

Me: “Sir, I have no idea how much gas you pumped, so I will not sign anything saying you only pumped $17. Furthermore, you’ve been yelling at me for over three minutes during a very busy time and I’m the only person here to ring out the 12 people behind you. I’ve told you that all you have to do is call the number on the back of the card to verify that you were only charged for what you pumped, and yet you’re still unsatisfied. The only other thing I can offer is that you call our customer service center and file a complaint. The number, and our store number are posted right beside you, and my name is on your receipt from earlier.”

Customer: *shoves a pen and his receipt in my face* “I’m not leaving until you write a statement about my gas and sign it!”

Me: “If you don’t leave, I will call the police to escort you from the premise.”

(Just then, one of our regulars, who is a police officer and in uniform, walks in. I sigh in relief, but the customer doesn’t notice.)

Customer: “You WILL write down that I only pumped $17. I’m not going anywhere!”

Me: “Hey, [Officer], could you do me a favor?”

Officer: “That depends… What is it?”

(The customer looks over at the officer, back at me, and scrambles out the door.)

Me: “Never mind; he left on his own.”

(The gas station I work at frequently runs out of small bills on the weekends so we have a difficult time making change. Normally, we put large, colorful signs on the front counters asking for smaller bills, and most people will oblige, but we still get people who try to ask for change after using the ATM.)

Customer: “Could I get change for this twenty?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We don’t have any small bills to spare.” *points at neon pink sign*

Customer: “That’s stupid. Just give me some change.”

Me: “I can’t. I won’t be able to make change for people who actually buy something.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever!”

(He then proceeds to wander the store, finally picking out the cheapest item we have, a 50-cent package of crackers, and walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like these.” *hands me a twenty*

Me: “Sir, I really don’t have change for this.”

Customer: “Just sell me this so I can get some f****** change!”

(I ended up giving it to him just to get him out of the store.)

(My husband and I stop by a gas station to fill up after picking up my daughter from her grandma’s. I’ve had my card number stolen from this location before, so I decided that I was going to go ahead and pre-pay inside while my husband waited by the pump.)

Clerk: “What’s up?”

Me: “I just need $30 on pump three, please.”

Clerk: “Okay, hold on.” *hits buttons on screen* “Cash or card?”

Me: “Card, please.” *I pull out my card, ready to swipe*

Clerk: “Oh, s***. Yeah, I pushed cash. It’s already gone through. Hold on, let me get my manager.”

(He turns to the side and the manager is just on the register next to him.)

Clerk: “Yeah, um, I hit cash, but it was supposed to be card.”

Manager: “All right, I’ll fix it.” *pushes buttons on screen* “Hey! $4.05 has already been pumped!”

Me: “What? Oh! My husband must have already started pumping.”

Manager: “You have to pay cash now.”

Me: “I don’t have cash because I was planning on using my card. It wasn’t—”

Manager: “You pay cash now!”

Me: “I don’t HAVE cash! I need to use my card! Your clerk is the one who let it go through as cash!”

Manager: “What about your husband? Does he have cash? You need to pay in cash, now!”

Me: “No, my husband doesn’t have any cash. That’s why I was going to use my card! You really can’t do anything about this?”

Manager: “Fine, you do cash back!”

Me: “Well, do you have an ATM?”

Manager: “No, you can do cash back at the register.”

(He sets up the register to do a cash back charge of $4.05, but he adds a $0.25 charge to the total. I assume it’s a fee for doing cash-back only. He tells me to swipe my card for the cash back and I do so.)

Manager: “Okay. Now, how much do you want?”

Me: “Well, I guess $25. Pump three.”

Manager: “Okay, go ahead and swipe card.”

(I swipe my card and it goes through just fine, then he hands me my receipt.)

Manager: “Next time have cash!”

(I take a look at my receipt and it shows the $0.25 charge as a ‘grocery item.’)

Me: “Wait, what’s with this 25-cent charge?”

Manager: “That’s the stupid fee, for messing up our register. Now move; I need to get the next customer.”

Me: “Excuse me? I don’t think so! This all started because your employee hit the wrong button! 25 cents may not be much, but I can’t afford to waste even a penny. Give me my 25 cents back!”

Manager: “Fine.” *tosses a quarter at me* “Now get out!”

(I took my change and receipt and left. I hate that gas station. Too bad it’s the only one in the area.)