Should Pre-Pray For A Good Pre-Pay

| Dallas, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(All of the pumps at our gas station are self-serve, and have large white 6″x6″ signs adhered to them, with large red block lettering that reads, “PLEASE PREPAY OR PAY AT THE PUMP.” I’m focusing on some paperwork when I hear banging on the window.)

Customer: “TURN ON THE PUMP!” *pointing at her red oversized truck*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you are at a prepay pump. You will need to prepay, pay at the pump, or leave a driver’s license before you can pump your gas.”

Customer: “I don’t have to do any of that!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m afraid you do. It wouldn’t be fair to our other customers if I just let you pump without paying or leaving a license first.”

Customer: “There is a list of people who don’t have to prepay or leave anything!”

Me: *looking for said list inside the fresh box of hell that surrounds me* “Ma’am, the only list we have is of bad check writers, and I’m sure you don’t want your name on that one.”

(Customer stomps back to her truck. I go back to my paperwork. About two minutes pass and I look out to see the same customer jumping up and down in front of everyone, screaming rhythmically…)

Customer: “TURN! ON! THE PUMP! TURN! ON! THE PUMP! TURN! ON! THE PUMP!”

Me: *through the intercom* “Ma’am, you are at a prepay pump. You can either prepay, pay at the pump, or leave a driver’s license before you can pump your gas.”

(Customer gets in her truck and peels out from the pump, to the main store across the parking lot, narrowly missing three other cars and a pedestrian, and then parks in the fire lane, directly in front of the main doors. The phone rings; it’s the manager from the main store.)

Manager: “Is there a list of people who don’t have to prepay or leave a driver’s license in there?”

Me: “No, sir. Just a list of bad check writers.”

Manager: “That’s what I thought. Thank you.” *hangs up*

(From across the parking lot, I see this customer exit the store just steaming. She gets back into her truck, and again peels out of the parking lot, again barely missing passing cars and pedestrians.)

See Three, P’d Off

| Singapore | Transportation

Me: “Hello, sir! Which pump are you at?”

Customer: “The van.”

(I glance outside. Our station has a total of four pumps; three of them are occupied by vans. I glance back to the customer, confused.)

Customer: “The van!” *gestures angrily* “How many vans are there outside?!”

(I glance outside again, then back to the customer.)

Me: “…Three?”

Beaver Believer

| CO, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I work in a highway station in the Colorado mountains, and get a lot of tourists. A gentleman comes in wearing a joke souvenir shirt from Beaver, UT that says ‘I <3 Beaver.’ He grabs a Colorado shirt and approaches the register.)

Him: “I have to change. A guy just came up to me in another store and say ‘Hey, me, too’!”