Doesn’t Know One’s (Gas) Station

| Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A customer comes in and asks to use the phone to call a cab.)

Customer: “Can I get a taxi to the [Wrong Name] on Kingsway.”

Me: “Sir, this isn’t [Wrong Name], That’s down the street. This is [Our Name].”

Customer: “No, it’s not. Are you sure?”

Me: “Well I DO work here, unless I’ve been coming to work at the wrong place. You DID walk past the name about 20 times, but if you don’t believe me, that’s completely fine.”

(20 minutes later, a taxi comes in for fuel.)

Customer: “What took you so long? They said five or ten minutes!”

Taxi Driver: “Nope. No call for here, but there was a call for [Wrong Name] and nobody was there.”

Customer: “…Oh. I guess he was right. Can I still get a ride?”

Calling Out Their Stupidity

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(I’ve been working at a gas station for about seven months, mostly on third shifts. I do, however, occasionally get scheduled for morning or afternoon shifts when someone needs me to cover.)

Me: “All right, your total comes to [total].”

Customer: “You must be new. I come here all the time and it’s always [incorrect price].”

Me: “You must be stupid, because even with the coupon that I used, it’s [actual price].”

Customer: “Don’t talk to me like that! Get me your manager!”

(If no manager is around, the person who’s worked there longest becomes acting manager.)

Me: “I am acting manager right now. And frankly, my boss would tell you the same thing because we put up with scammers like you all the time. Now, you either pay or leave.”

A Centless Amount Of Gas

| Murfreesboro, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Transportation

Me: “Welcome to [Gas Station]. What can I get for you?”

(The ‘customer’ scoops the ten cents out of the leave a penny take a penny and hand them to me.)

Customer: “I need this in gas on pump three.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you need at least 86 cents in order to purchase gas.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I just need this in gas.” *tries to hand me the ten cents again*

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t put that low of an amount on the pump. It won’t let me.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, can I bum a dollar?”

(My coworker gave him a dollar, so he got $1.10 in gas.)

Thought It Was One Giant Smoking Mirror

, | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(We sell cigarettes, and you can clearly see them as soon as you walk in the door.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you guys sell cigarettes here?”

Me: *being humorous, thinking he is as well* “No, we don’t, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll go somewhere else.”

(As he started to leave, another cashier motioned to the wall of hundreds of cigarettes behind the counter, and lucky us, he found humor in his mistake, as well as we did.)

A Hot Slice Of Common Sense

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(My husband and I are regulars at a certain gas station that has an independent pizza chain inside. For the past month the gas station’s computers keep shutting down, effectively closing the gas station. However, the pizza place is still open. There are signs on the doors explaining the situation, bags on the pumps, two of the three entrances are locked, and the store area is barricaded. The lights are on, as employees are cleaning and waiting to help the computer staff. Two men around the same age as me (late 20s) come in.)

Customer #1: “How the f*** the store gonna be closed? I need my washer fluid!”

Customer #2: “I know, right? That’s f**** up! We should call the head people on their lazy a****!”

Me: “Did you see the signs, hon? Their computers are down for the second time this week. They can’t do anything without them.”

Customer #1: “Well, I need my stuff. This is f***** up! They should be open!”

Customer #2: “Why are they closed? Where the f*** are the signs?”

Me: “You mean like the ones on all three LOCKED doors? Or the bags on the pumps? Or maybe you missed the barricades to the main store area? They may even have signs on the pumps themselves.”

Customer #1: “What the f*** am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “Well, you could try the gas station not two miles from here.”

Customer #2: “Ain’t nobody got time for that s***! We came here to buy s***!”

Me: “Or, you could stop complaining and buy pizza like the rest of us since you wanted to buy s***!”

(They turned around, shut up, and bought pizza!)

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