You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 3

| Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Good afternoon, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Can you tell me if you carry Chlamydia?”

Me: *long pause* “Um… I’m sorry, is this a plant you are looking for?”

Caller: “Yes! The pink one. You know, Chlamydia!”

Me: “Do you mean Cyclamen?”

Caller: “Yeah! Cyclamen, Chlamydia, they’re all the same thing. So, do you have anyone there that can give me some Chlamydia?”

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Item, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Item
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Product May Require A Certain Level Of Manurity

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(A customer lifts bag of steer manure onto the counter.)

Customer: “I’ve got a question. What makes steer manure different from mushroom manure?”

Me: “Well, steer manure is made from the droppings of–”

Customer: “Wait. You said droppings? As in waste?”

Me: “Yes. Manure is made from decomposed waste.”

Customer: “So…What exactly is a steer?”

Me: “It’s just another name for a cow.”

Customer: “So steer manure is…oh, God. Oh, God!” *leaves without buying the manure*

Watering Wonders

, | New York, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I have a faucet in my backyard, and I can’t get the water to the other side.”

Me: “You need a hose…”

Customer: “What is that?”

Me: “You connect it to the faucet, and the water travels through the hose to the other side.”

Customer: “These inventions these days – they’re incredible!”

Me: “…”