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Played It To Oblivion

, , , , , , | Right | November 7, 2019

At our game store, we used to have a policy that customers could try out any game in the store. It really helped cut down on returns. This meant, however, that we would get a few customers who would abuse this policy.

One man would come in almost daily and spend hours playing games, rarely purchasing anything.

When this happened, The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion had come out. The man was coming in daily and spent literally hours standing in one spot and playing the game. 

I would inform him every half hour or so that he needed to take a break and could not just play games all day. He would save, walk away for a minute, and jump right back to it when I started working on something else.

After a few days of this, I was tired of him.

The next time he came in, he played Oblivion for a solid five hours. I didn’t bother him once. When he finally took his leave of the game and I was sure he was gone, I loaded up his game and dumped almost a week’s worth of progress in one part of the map. Then, I sent his character across the map to the woods and left his character naked and alone. Finally, I deleted every save file except this one, and shut the game off.

The next time the man came in, he asked to play Oblivion. I gladly obliged, put the game in, and walked away. I can still remember him sputtering and frantically trying to search for a way to get his progress back.

When he demanded to know what had happened, I politely told him that this was a store game and everyone had access to the save files. If he wanted to be able to play without the risk of someone else having access to it, he would probably want to actually buy the game.

He was practically in tears when he left, but he did finally buy the game and take it home.

Indie Games Really Do Push The Limits These Days

, , , , , | Romantic | October 31, 2019

(My husband and I are scrolling through the free games on our Xbox to see if there’s anything interesting enough to play. We settle on one and decide we’ll play it once we have our daughter down for bed.)

Me: “Are you ready to play Goat Stimulator?”

Husband: *gives me an odd look*

Me: “I mean Goat Simulator! Goat Stimulator would be a completely different game.”

Nieces Happen

, , , | Right | October 28, 2019

(I am filing a warranty claim for my Xbox controller. I am filling out the online form and everything goes normally until I get to the part that asks how it was damaged. I hesitate a moment, considering how to explain the problem since I don’t actually know WHAT happened; it worked the day before, and then when I went to use it today it didn’t. This is what I put in:)

Form: “Eight-year-old niece. She probably dropped it, or pressed the button too hard repeatedly. Perhaps both, knowing her.”

What Price Loyalty?

, , , , , | Friendly | October 26, 2019

I play a mobile game that has a light PVP element to it: players can join teams that have arranged fights with other teams and also can fight bigger monsters, both of which offer superior rewards. The team I am a member of has a core group of people who stick with it but has experienced a lot of membership churn. This is in part due to differences between people who feel attacked if the leader points out that some people didn’t participate in events and others who get annoyed and leave because some people didn’t participate in events and they feel that this was dragging down their event rewards. As a result, our team lead has had to be in a perpetual recruitment mode for a few months.

After one recruitment session, one person joined, responding politely to our greeting messages and overall gave no signs of unhappiness with our team. An hour later, without another word, he suddenly left the team again and joined a different team.

One of the requirements listed on the home page for the other team? “Loyalty.”

Part Of The Whole App Game

, , , , | Right | October 13, 2019

I answer customer feedback emails. Here is one of my silliest:

“To Whom It May Concern,

My phone has [Game App] installed on it. As I am sure you are aware, your company has chosen to advertise with [Game App Company]. Your ad decided to impact my loading time, causing me to lose my game. I guarantee you, I will never purchase a single one of your products. Ever. Either choose lighter ads or better companies to advertise with.

Thank you for your time,

[Fake Name]”