Stunningly Betrayed In Purple

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Friendly | June 7, 2016

(My friends and I regularly met at the local gaming store to run our campaigns and while I don’t remember the lead up to this conversation but this sticks in the mind.)

Friend: “This guy is like dealing with Lando.”

Me: *not sure whether I heard Lando or Londo* “Calrissian or Mollari?”

Friend: *thinks for a moment* “Either way you’re going to get screwed.”

Me: *considers the two characters* “That’s true.”

The Decks Are Set Against You

| Cambridge, MA, USA|Game Store | Right | January 7, 2016

(We’re running a promotion where customers who buy cards for a specific game get a free deck box. I’ve just finished ringing out a customer.)

Me: “…and you get this deck box with your purchase today!”

Customer: “Whoa, really?”

Me: “Yup! One per customer, while supplies last.”

Customer #2: “It’s free?”

Me: “Yes, if you buy a pack or a deck.”

Customer #2: “So, if I get multiple packs…”

Me: “Sorry, just one per customer.”

Customer #3: “Did I just hear something about free deck boxes?”

Me: “Yes. One per customer; you just have to buy a pack.”

Customer #3: “Wow, one per pack?”

(…and so on. This went on through a good half-dozen customers, all in rapid succession.)

Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doomed Relationships

| CA, USA | Romantic | October 17, 2015

(I am the employee in this story. My ex-boyfriend has entered the store and I ignore him during the time he is in there. After he leaves, I go to the floor to stock some games.)

Customer: “Are you okay? You seem a little down.”

Me: “My ex just came in. He’s like a bad penny, he always shows up.”

(I take a moment, then face-palm.)

Me: “I can’t believe I wasted a perfectly good Indiana Jones line on that guy.”

Excellent ‘Poor’ Service

| Australia | Working | May 8, 2015

(I frequent a game store near my house, even when I’m poor, as in this story. I’m talking to my favourite employee.)

Me: “I’m getting my car fixed. I know this is probably the opposite of why you’re here, but please yell at me if I try to buy something.”

Employee: “Sure! Never enough opportunities to yell at a customer!”

(The next week I wander in and start admiring a new figurine. I start to walk over to the counter when:)

Employee: “No! Bad, BAD customer! PUT IT DOWN. You’re poor, remember?!”

Other Customer: *to me* “What the..?”

Me: *sheepishly putting the figurine down* “I told him to yell at me for buying things. I didn’t think he’d DO it!”

(That is why I shop there!)

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Will Need A Lot Of Mana To Fix That Damage

| Tallahassee, FL, USA | Romantic | October 31, 2014

(My boyfriend is a fan of Magic: The Gathering, especially the draft format. You pick a card from a booster pack, then pass the pack, and so on. On this particular night, he pulls a card I really want.)

Me: *nuzzling him* “Who’s your favorite girlfriend?”

Boyfriend: “Well, I have another one, so…”

Me: “What?!”

Boyfriend: *realizing how it sounds* “The card! I have another one if you want it!”

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