, , , , , | Right | August 28, 2020

I’m Finnish, and I’m visiting London on vacation. While browsing in a store that sells tabletop RPGs and board games, I hear voices approaching the entrance. Once they step in, I can hear two men speaking to each other in Finnish.

Younger Man: “And this store sells, like, board games and role-playing games and stuff.”

Older Man: “Hm. I bet they’re all in English, though. That sucks. It’s so stupid how everything over here is in English.”

After only a minute or two, they walk out without buying anything, all the while complaining about how nothing in the store is in Finnish. Chuckling, I step up to the counter to purchase something.

Me: “Heh. I just have to mention this — I’m Finnish and so were those men. I could understand everything they said. They were complaining about everything in the store being in English.”

The clerk looks a little puzzled.

Clerk: “Uh… I guess there’s no pleasing everyone?”

Me: “See, that’s just what we Finns do. We complain about stuff. My friend and I were just talking about this last night… and then we realized we were complaining about Finns complaining.”

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He Rolled A One On That Encounter

, , , , , , | Right | June 26, 2020

My parents ran a tabletop gaming store when I was in elementary school. My father hosted a “Dungeons and Dragons” campaign, which drew in a fair number of teenagers from the local high school. As I had to stay at the store after school, my mother brought in a “swear jar” and made sure everyone was aware of it beforehand.

In the middle of one session, one teen decides to ask before he uses one such word:

Teen: “Hey, [Mother], does ‘d*****bag’ count as a swear word?”

My mother looks him in the eye and says:

Mother: “No. But seeing as you’ve said that two feet away from my eight-year-old, you get to tell her what it means!”

The look on his face was priceless.

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 37

, , , | Right | May 28, 2020

It is the time of the PlayStation 2.

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for a wireless controller for my PlayStation 2.”

Coworker: “All of our PlayStation 2 controllers are in the clear plastic baggies in the display case right behind you.”

Customer: “But how do I know which ones are wireless?”

Coworker: “Well, um, the wireless ones don’t have a wire coming out of the controller.” 

Customer: “Could you show me?”

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 36
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 35
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34

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The Employee’s Inner Voice Is A Friend

, , , , , | Right | May 7, 2020

I notice a customer pulling out her checkbook and I interject.

Me: “I can’t take a check.”

Customer: “What do you mean, I can’t pay by check?”

Customer’s Friend: “Nobody takes checks anymore.”

Customer: “Why didn’t I know about this?”

Customer’s Friend: “Maybe if you got out more than once a year, you’d know these things.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t like paying cash!”

Customer’s Friend: “Use a card.”

Customer: “I don’t want to have a credit card!”

Customer’s Friend: “Your bank will give you a debit card for free.”

I was trying desperately to control my urge to cheer, and to thank the customer’s friend for saying EXACTLY what I wanted to say but couldn’t.

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Haggling: The Game

, , , | Right | April 3, 2020

(It is the holiday season. The store has been very busy with last-minute shoppers.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “How much is [Game System]?”

Me: “Currently, £299, but there is a bundle with an extra controller and two games for only £350.”

Customer: “I’ll give you £10 for the bundle.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me. £10 for the extra stuff.”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The price is £350 for the bundle and no less.”

Customer: “You drive a hard bargain. Tell you what. I’ll stretch to £50.”

(I am getting skeptical looks from my fellow cashiers and a large queue is forming.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the price is not up for negotiation.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable. No one in this mall has been willing to sell me anything!”

Other Customer: “Yeah, because this isn’t a d*** market stall!”

(The customer stormed out muttering. Turns out that he actually rang head office to complain about me. He did not get far.)

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