He Rolled A One On That Encounter

, , , , , , | Right | June 26, 2020

My parents ran a tabletop gaming store when I was in elementary school. My father hosted a “Dungeons and Dragons” campaign, which drew in a fair number of teenagers from the local high school. As I had to stay at the store after school, my mother brought in a “swear jar” and made sure everyone was aware of it beforehand.

In the middle of one session, one teen decides to ask before he uses one such word:

Teen: “Hey, [Mother], does ‘d*****bag’ count as a swear word?”

My mother looks him in the eye and says:

Mother: “No. But seeing as you’ve said that two feet away from my eight-year-old, you get to tell her what it means!”

The look on his face was priceless.

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 37

, , , | Right | May 28, 2020

It is the time of the PlayStation 2.

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for a wireless controller for my PlayStation 2.”

Coworker: “All of our PlayStation 2 controllers are in the clear plastic baggies in the display case right behind you.”

Customer: “But how do I know which ones are wireless?”

Coworker: “Well, um, the wireless ones don’t have a wire coming out of the controller.” 

Customer: “Could you show me?”

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 36
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 35
Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 34

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The Employee’s Inner Voice Is A Friend

, , , , , | Right | May 7, 2020

I notice a customer pulling out her checkbook and I interject.

Me: “I can’t take a check.”

Customer: “What do you mean, I can’t pay by check?”

Customer’s Friend: “Nobody takes checks anymore.”

Customer: “Why didn’t I know about this?”

Customer’s Friend: “Maybe if you got out more than once a year, you’d know these things.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t like paying cash!”

Customer’s Friend: “Use a card.”

Customer: “I don’t want to have a credit card!”

Customer’s Friend: “Your bank will give you a debit card for free.”

I was trying desperately to control my urge to cheer, and to thank the customer’s friend for saying EXACTLY what I wanted to say but couldn’t.

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Haggling: The Game

, , , | Right | April 3, 2020

(It is the holiday season. The store has been very busy with last-minute shoppers.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “How much is [Game System]?”

Me: “Currently, £299, but there is a bundle with an extra controller and two games for only £350.”

Customer: “I’ll give you £10 for the bundle.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me. £10 for the extra stuff.”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The price is £350 for the bundle and no less.”

Customer: “You drive a hard bargain. Tell you what. I’ll stretch to £50.”

(I am getting skeptical looks from my fellow cashiers and a large queue is forming.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the price is not up for negotiation.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable. No one in this mall has been willing to sell me anything!”

Other Customer: “Yeah, because this isn’t a d*** market stall!”

(The customer stormed out muttering. Turns out that he actually rang head office to complain about me. He did not get far.)

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Fake Gamer Girl Strikes Again!

, , , | Working | March 19, 2020

(I’m female and a frequent customer at a local video game store. I know the manager well between my constant trips in and having worked over the holidays a couple of years back. He uses me as a training customer for new hires since I know the system and am known for being patient. I get a text from him one day.)

Manager: “Hey, we have a new hire and it’s been slow. Wanna swing by?”

(I’m not busy, so I head out. When I walk in, the new guy gives me a bad look.)

New Hire: “Oh, hi.”

Me: “Hi there! Do you have [New Game]?”

New Hire: “We have it for [System #1]. Do you know what your boyfriend has?”

Me: “My… what? I own a [System #1]. It’s for me.”

New Hire: “Sure, whatever. We don’t do returns on opened or used games.”

Me: “I’ll just look around for a minute.”

(I end up finding a couple of other games I want. I bring them up to the register, where the new hire is still glaring at me.)

New Hire: “You know these games are for [System #2], right? They won’t work on [System #1].”

Me: “Yes, I know. I own both.”

New Hire: “Do you want to call your boyfriend to make sure?”

Me: “No, because these are for me. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

New Hire: “I can’t return them–”

(At this point, I’m done with his attitude. I know the manager tends to watch the cameras in the back room.)

Me: “[MANAGER]! I’m gonna need your help!”

(He comes out with a MASSIVE grin.)

Manager: “Oh, [My Name]! What’s the issue?”

Me: “I apparently need to call my non-existent boyfriend before buying video games.”

New Hire: “I’m just trying to help her! I told her she can’t return them!”

Manager: “All right, that’s three complaints in one week. First of all, while it’s nice to let them know about our policy, you don’t have to keep repeating yourself. Second, not every girl who comes in here is shopping for their boyfriend. Third, I know she owns the consoles for those. I sold them to her. Actually, when it’s busy, I sometimes pay her to test consoles we get in for repairs or to sell. You trying to talk down to her is both useless and embarrassing.”

(He ended up being let go.)

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