Don’t Date Furries

| Romantic | September 13, 2016

(My roommate works for a high-end furrier, mostly handling the pieces that they store for customers during the warm months, but she also does some sales. She never uses her customers’ names, but she’ll use “code names” for them sometimes if she’s had a really weird or rough day and needs to talk about it.)

Roommate: *comes into the apartment, very irritated* “You won’t believe what happened today!”

Me: “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Roommate: “Well, Mr. Lawyer came in today to pick up his wife’s coat out of storage.”

(“Mr. Lawyer” is a customer they’ve had for years, and every Christmas he’ll buy both his wife and his *girlfriend* identical pieces from the furrier, so he won’t “mix them up.” My roommate hates waiting on him, but her boss says it isn’t their business who he buys furs for, he’s been a loyal customer, etc. So, she deals with it.)

Me: “What, he wasn’t picking something up for the girlfriend, too?”

Roommate: “No, but he ordered new pieces for both of them.” *she makes a face* “And THEN he actually asked me if there was anything in the shop that I wanted!”

Me: “What?!”

Roommate: “Yeah! He’s, like, twenty years older than me, he’s got a wife AND a girlfriend, who he knows I help him buy presents for every year, by the way, and he was STILL trying to offer me an expensive fur coat in exchange for who-knows-what!”

Me: “Wow… What did you say?”

Roommate: “At first I didn’t know what to do, then I just blurted out the first thing that

popped into my head.”

Me: “Which was…?”

Roommate: “I said I was a member of PETA, and I didn’t wear fur.”

Me: *I stared at her for a minute until we both laughed a little* “Did he believe you?”

Roommate: “I think so. He didn’t say anything else about it.”

Me: “So you’re supposed to be a member of PETA, but you work for a furrier?”

Roommate: “I could always be working undercover.”

Me: “Right…”

(Mr. Lawyer continues to buy identical presents each year, but he hasn’t tried hitting on my roommate again.)

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