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90% Off With 100% Love

, , , , | Hopeless | July 20, 2019

(My family moves from Florida to Tennessee when I am three or four years old. We don’t have much furniture, and we stop by a furniture store in DC on our way from visiting friends to get some. We have a budget of $500 and aren’t planning on getting much. We see a sale room with furniture that is all on sale, with a lot off. There is a man with one of those wheels that you spin to get a percentage off. My mom spins.) 

Man: “10%? Hmm… That’s not a lot…” *points to me* “She’s so cute! Let her spin.”

(I spin, and the wheel is about to land on 10% again, and this man makes the wheel spin a bit longer.)

Man: “90%! Congratulations!”

(We were able to get just about all of our furniture for $500, and it was a blessing that my family really needed in that rough spot.)

Remembering Where You Made The Purchase Is Kinda On You

, , , | Right | July 19, 2019

(It’s a wonderful day of both happy and unhappy customers when this couple comes up to our desk.)

Wife: “We ordered these items days ago and received a call from you saying that they were ready for pick up! But when we arrived and checked in, they said our items aren’t here! Where are they?!”

Me: “I am sorry for the confusion on this issue. May I please see your receipt?”

Wife: “I don’t have it.”

Me: “No problem. May I please have the phone number it was purchased under?”

(The wife gives me her phone number, but I can’t find her in our system. I ask for the husband’s number, as well, but his number doesn’t pull anything up, either.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I can’t find your order.”

Wife: “That makes no sense! I received a call from you saying it was in!”

Me: “May I please see the number that called you?”

(She pulls the number up on her phone.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that is not our phone number. That isn’t even the number for our corporate office.”

Wife: “How can that be?!”

Me: “I’m not sure, but it definitely isn’t our number. Let’s try this.”

(I call the number that called her, only to be answered by our competitor’s automated answering system down the road.)

Me: “Ma’am, this number is for [Competitor] up the road.”

Wife: “Well, how did that happen?!”

Husband: “Because they are the ones you made the order with.”

We Want To Be Here Even Less Because Of You

, , , | Right | June 9, 2019

(This is one that actually happened to my coworker, but I love it too much to not tell.)

Coworker: “Hi, ma’am. How can I help you today?”

Customer: *glares at him*

Coworker: “Can I help you?”

Customer: *sneers and continues to glare*

Coworker: “Are you… buying something?”

Customer: *places a vase on the counter* “Well, OBVIOUSLY.” *continues to glare at him*

Coworker: “Okay, well…”

Customer: “I don’t even want to be here! I just had surgery; I can’t believe you guys made me stand in line for so long! The doctor said I shouldn’t even be out of bed right now!”

(My coworker decides to disregard questioning why she is even here, then, and goes on professionally.)

Coworker: “Well, I apologize; we’re a bit busy because of the holidays. But I can ring you up quick!”

Customer: *throws her card at him*

Coworker: *irritated now* “Was… was that really necessary?”

Customer: *going red* “You’re being incredibly rude right now!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, I’m being rude?”


Coworker: *nods, grabs her vase* “All right, go home, then.” *walks away with the vase*

(She went away cursing, and our manager got a call from her later saying how he told her to go home, and she wanted him fired. After hearing his side of the story, though, it’s safe to say his job is safe. We’ve been laughing about what he did ever since.)

Pioneering Talking Back To A Customer

, , , | Right | June 8, 2019

(I’m answering phones for our customer service when I get this call.)

Customer: “My dishwasher isn’t working properly. Can you send service out today?”

Me: “Well, we can definitely send service out, but it might be a day or two to get service out since they have a schedule.”

Customer: “Well, that is simply unfair! How am I supposed to wash my dishes? Do you think the pioneers just washed their dishes in the river?!”

Me: *a history major* “Actually, the pioneers used washing basins, which is basically the same as your sink.”

(She then went on a rant for five minutes about correcting her before hanging up. Well, if you’re going to use an analogy from history, get it right! Some good old hard work from washing dishes in the sink might make her appreciate the pioneers more, anyway.)

Deaf To Reason, Part 9

, , , , | Right | May 29, 2019

(I’m helping a couple order new curtains. They are deaf and we communicate in hand gestures and writing. When we’ve finished the deal, I see it’s time to get the breaks started and I go to the till to replace the first cashier. The lovely deaf couple stands in line at my till. I help a couple of clients and end up clearing my line faster than my coworker. While doing so, I cheerfully greet the clients. One lady in the other line is side-eying my line with suspicion. Once the deaf clients reach me, I stop talking and start smiling and gesturing to the monitor, etc., to communicate with them. It’s a big order, so it takes some time and I don’t speak at any moment. They leave happily and we wave goodbye. The lady from the other line has already finished her shopping and happens to be watching me for the last moments. Suddenly, she starts screaming at me from just meters away. All customers and coworkers freeze and watch her.)

Customer: “What the h*** was that about? Do you not know how to treat customers? They spend a lot of money in your store and you don’t even have the decency to say even a word to them!”

Me: “But they a—”

Customer: “No, you don’t get to make excuses. That was horrible discriminative behavior! I want to talk to your manager!”

(I am not inclined to bother my manager with this ridiculous woman.)

Me: “That would be me.”

Customer: *with even more disgust on her face looks me up and down* “I am never shopping here again!” *storms off*

(I never saw her again, but the deaf couple comes around pretty often and we always wave at each other.)

Deaf To Reason, Part 8
Deaf To Reason, Part 7
Deaf To Reason, Part 6