I’m working at the front desk at a furniture store, and I get a call.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yeah, what’s on your floor?”

I rein in my natural off-the-cuff response of “furniture”, but I do glance up at every single thing we have in the store. It’s more than a couple of pieces.

Me: “Do you have something specific you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Just tell me what’s on your floor.”

Again, I resist the urge to say, “Furniture.”

Me: “We have many things on the floor. If you could tell me a little about what you’re looking for, I can better assist.”

Customer: “Look, just tell me what’s on your floor or I’ll find someone who knows what they’re talking about.”

Me: “Let me transfer you to one of our salespeople.”

I flagged down the nearest salesman and transferred the call to him. I still don’t know if this customer was really looking for me to just start telling him every piece we had or if he was looking for something specific and expected me to magically know what he was referring to. All I know is that if I hadn’t stopped myself from saying, “Furniture,” or something like, “Couches, chairs, and tables,” I would have gotten yelled at.

CONTENT WARNING: Gross

I work for a major home appliance and furniture store. We deliver set-up things like washing machines, dishwashers, and stoves.

One time, I’m delivering a dishwasher to a single-floor ranch house. We open the front door and discover that there are no internal walls. At all. In the entire house.

We can see from one corner of the house all the way to the other. It is furnished with beds, toilets, a TV, a couch, a stove, etc. But there are no walls.

Non-plussed but unwilling to show it, we let the owner lead us to the location where the dishwasher is to be installed. While we install the dishwasher, he rambles at us, telling us about what he does for a living, his family relations, and just about everything except why he doesn’t have walls in his house.

Still rambling, he walks over to the exposed toilet, drops his pants, and starts taking a dump. The worst part? We can clearly watch him not wash his hands afterward.

Several years ago, shortly after I graduated college, I worked at a furniture store for a while. I was originally hired as a front desk/secretary-esque person, but through various things, I basically ended up with the job and responsibilities of a manager without the corresponding authority or bump in pay.

When I started, I was told that I was going to be on “probation” for six months and that I would potentially get a raise after that probation was up. Six months passed.

Manager: “You’ve been doing really well and I’m going to give you a raise of seventy-five cents an hour.”

Me: “Great!”

The first payday came up after the promise of the raise, and the manager pulled me into her office.

Manager: “So, I’ve had to pay several bills, and I can’t give you the full amount of your raise; I’m only going to be able to give you twenty-five cents right now. I’ll give you the other fifty cents in a couple of months.”

This was before I realized how horrible this job was and how much under-the-table and frankly illegal s*** went on at this store, so I naively believed her, although I was a little disappointed. Honestly, I should have gotten it in writing — not that she would have honored it at all; she would have figured out some way out of it — but again, naivety.

Me: “Okay.”

Months went by, and the rest of that raise never came around. Every time I tried to bring it up to [Manager], she gave me something about bills taking the extra money. (A lot of that was her not paying the vendors until they yelled at her and threatened to not make the furniture.)

Finally, almost a year went by. Costs were going up, and while it wouldn’t necessarily have been the end of the world without it, having that extra little bit would’ve helped me, so I went to [Manager] again. On this day, her husband (who technically owned the store) was there.

Me: “Hey, I’m wondering if I could start getting the rest of that raise you told me you were going to give me.”

Owner: “You know what, we need to talk about that. Can you meet me at [Nearby Coffee Chain] on Sunday? We’ll talk before the store opens.”

By this point, I was seriously jaded at this job and never believed anything they said, so I knew I was probably not going to get anything. But I agreed.

That Sunday, I got to the coffee shop and [Owner] wasn’t there. He finally walked in almost an hour late, blaming traffic. I just brushed it off although I knew that if I’d been almost an hour late, he would have lectured me about it.

Owner: “You’ve been doing really well. [Manager] has told me how helpful you’ve been and everything you’ve been taking on. So, you know that you wear a lot of hats; you’re helping the salespeople input orders and taking payments, and you’re accepting deliveries at the warehouse. You’re assisting with opening and closing the store and with the floor moves when needed. You also need to function as a secretary for [Manager] and for me.”

I noncommittally agreed, despite the sinking feeling that told me this was going to go about as well as I knew it would.

Owner: “So, what I’m going to do is give you a seventy-five-cent raise.”

Me: “Is that in addition to the original fifty cents [Manager] still owes me?”

[Owner] either didn’t listen or purposefully ignored me. I know which one I think it was, but you decide for yourself.

Owner: “You’ll be getting a seventy-five-cent raise starting with the first paycheck of next month.”

That part made sense since we were technically at the end of a pay period and payday was the upcoming Tuesday.

Owner: “We really appreciate all you do. Please keep up the good work.”

And off he went after promising me a whopping twenty-five cents — since I took away the original fifty I was still owed — thinking he’d just changed my life. He went home and I got to go open the store for another not-so-joyous Sunday.

I finally found a new job, but I had to suffer for another six months. I took the new job and ran out of there so fast I’m surprised I didn’t leave tracks. I didn’t even stop to consider reporting to Labor & Industries, although I honestly could have gotten a lovely settlement (between the wage theft, the fact that I regularly worked seven days in a row without a day off because the manager always managed to have a valid reason/excuse/whatever, and just general business practices) if I’d bothered to pursue something.

I will admit that I didn’t think about shedding a tear when I found out they’d closed about a year after I left.

I am the manager of one location for a national furniture retailer. We have people come in all the time for our sales and deals. We are always running one. As the manager, I also have the ability to take off a little extra. Depending on the items, I might even take an additional 25% off after the sale price — way more if the item is something other than furniture. It is not possible on everything, but I know my leeway and when to use it. The other thing we offer up all the time is to remove the delivery charge.

A man comes in and works with one of my employees. He is looking for a sofa and maybe some end tables. He picks out a nice sofa, and after the sale, it’s about $4,000. The end tables are another few hundred. Then, he talks about how great our sale is. Apparently, [Employee] tells him that if he buys more, we might get him a better deal. This sofa is something I don’t have the ability to discount any further as it is a loss leader and is being sold well below what it could sell for. This guy decides to go all out and get a new bed, kitchen table and chairs, and a few other things. He is well over $10,000 at this point.

[Employee] sits down to ring him up and calls me over to ask about additional discounts.

Me: “We have a great sale on right now, so you’re already getting a great discount, but I’ll waive the delivery fee for you.”

He asks for a bit more and I give an extra 10%. It’s all a negotiation.

Customer: “If you can take off a bit more, I will be able to afford a few more things.”

He mentions some pretty expensive stuff along with lamps and artwork. So, we figure it in, and he gets free delivery and 20% off. He schedules the delivery for three weeks out and puts it all on our store credit card. It’s the best day [Employee] has had in a long time.

A week goes by, and the customer calls to cancel the artwork and the lamps. It’s not that strange for those items to get canceled. They are mostly overpriced in furniture stores, anyway. I take care of it for him. Since he used the store’s credit card, he has paid us nothing. He will not be charged until six months after delivery.

Another week goes by. The customer has now called us twice more to pare down the order, but the other manager was on duty and is new to the job.

A few days from delivery, the guy calls up to cancel everything but the sofa end tables on his order. It sucks for the sales guy, but it happens, and he handles it well enough. I buy him lunch. On the phone, I tell the customer I would be happy to cancel the items he requested and I will still give him the free delivery. Never does he ask for an updated price.

Six months go by, and the customer finally looks at his bill. I am the one that gets the call. It’s just screaming from the start.

Customer: “You’re a cheat and a liar, and I want my money back! For all the stress this is causing me, I should get a full refund!”

I know exactly who this is and why he is calling, but I ask him to explain it to me and play dumb a bit.

Customer: “I’ve canceled a lot of my order, but I didn’t get the discounts I was promised! I am being charged $4,500, but since I got 20% off, it should only be $3,600. I want $900, plus more for messing up my credit score!”

Still playing a bit dumb, as if a lightbulb is slowly warming up in my skull, I ask him to explain to me why he canceled all the other stuff. He then details how his plan all along was to rack up a huge bill and cancel it all, keeping the discounts.

Now, I drop the dumb act and lay it out for him.

Me: “Sir, I see the old order, and I am the manager that was helping you that day. It appears that there were never any discounts on the sofa or end tables, but you did cancel several items that were highly discounted.”

Customer: “I wanted discounts on the sofa. I was promised 20% off my order. You need to credit my account!”

Me: “As a total, you did get 20%, but not equally on each item.”

Then, he goes full diva on me.

Customer: “With as much as I spent, I deserve that discount, and if you don’t give it to me, I will load up every effing thing I got and drop it in your parking lot!”

Fighting back a laugh, I have the privilege of telling him:

Me: “Correction. With what you were going to spend, you could have gotten that discount. With what you did spend, I was happy to extend free delivery to you. Additionally, you may return items within our sixty-day return window, but your items were delivered well over 100 days ago. You can feel free to drop them anywhere, but you may be charged with littering.”

He ended the call after a stunned silence. He never called my store again.

My wife and I go to [Famous Swedish Furniture Store]. I’m tired after a long day at work, so I sit down on one of their chairs and guard the stuff we’ve picked out so far.

A guy grabs something from our pile of stuff and starts walking away. I follow him.

Me: “Hey! Give that back! That’s mine! Hey!”

He brings it to his wife and kids.

Customer: “The cats will love this. And look, it’s on clearance!”

Me: *Catching up to him* “Hey, my wife and I already picked that out, and I was guarding it.”

Customer: “Sorry, I thought you were some homeless person taking a nap on the chair.”

Me: “Look, can I have the laundry hamper back, please?”

Customer: “It’s a cat castle. If you’d really picked it out, you would know what it was.”

Me: “It says laundry hamper on the tag. Please, I was guarding it for my wife.”

Customer’s Wife: “Honey, just give it back to him. We can find another.”

Customer: “Fine. It’s your fault if our cats don’t get this cool cat castle.”

I didn’t even reply. I just walked back to the chair and put it back on our pile of stuff.