Lift Me A Misogynist

| USA | Working | November 22, 2012

(My brother, a friend of his, and myself are at a furniture store picking up his new living room set. My brother and I are both average height and stocky, but his friend, who is female, is pretty petite. However, as she works a very physically demanding job, she is *much* stronger than she looks. We’ve brought my SUV down and my brother’s truck. There’s the couch, an ottoman, and a chair, but before we can start moving them, this happens.)

Store Manager: “Aww, did you bring your little girlfriend so she could make sure you picked a good couch?”

My Brother: “Um, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s here to help us move the furniture.”

Store Manager: “Her?! She’s too small to be useful!”

Me: “Go tell her that. Better yet, try physically stopping her from helping.”

Store Manager: *to her* “Don’t try to pick that up. You’ll hurt yourself! It’s very heavy!”

(My brother’s friend grabs the plastic bail binding and lifts it easily up and down.)

Her: “Can’t be more than 70 pounds.”

Store Manager: “It’s too heavy for girls!”

(The store manager tries to take it from her, but she sets it down.)

Her: “Buddy, I’m going to say this once. I came down here to your store to help my friend pick up his furniture order. I didn’t come here to hear your useless prattle about women. I suggest you stay out of my way before you hurt yourself!”

Related:
Drywall Me A Misogynist
Paint Me A Misogynist (Not Always Right)

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A Bit Carefree With The Free Care

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Right | September 14, 2012

(I work in the play area at a popular furniture store. Parents are allowed to drop their children off for one hour, provided they sign an information form stating all their information, and that the person signing them in will be the person signing them out. A lady comes up to me with her children.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am, welcome to [furniture store].”

Customer: *grunts and shoves form at me*

Me: “As you are the person who signed this, you will be the only one able to sign your children out. You have one hour for which you have to remain in the store. Here is your pager which we will page when your time is up.”

Customer: “Yeah, I get it, okay!”

(The customer then walks off before I can even get her children in the door. Three hours go by, and she doesn’t return, which is far beyond her allotted one hour. We have paged her, sent overhead pages throughout the store, and phoned her cellphone number over twenty times and left numerous voicemails. After contacting the police, we phone her one more time; she finally she picks up.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Ma’am, where have you been? You’re children are still here and we have been unable to contact you.”

Customer: “Well, I went to work.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is NOT a daycare service. We informed you that you had one hour.”

Customer: “The man said I could leave them there for as long as I want!”

Me: “Ma’am, there are only women working here and I was the one who signed you in. I can assure you, no man said you could abandon your children here.”

Customer: “No, the man walking around in the store!”

Me: “So, you asked a random man if you could abandon your children here?”

Customer: “Yes! So, I can get my mom to come pick them up?”

Me: “Sorry, but the person who signed them in is the only one who can sign them out.”

Customer: “WHAT THE H***?! What the f*** is wrong with you people?! I’m at work trying to make a living!””

Me: “Ma’am, we are trying to protect your children from being picked up by strangers. If you don’t get here within 15 minutes, I’m calling child social services.”

(She showed up in 5.)

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Accidon’t

| North Dakota, USA | Working | June 5, 2012

(I’ve recently purchased a new living room set. Since I have three young, active boys and four cats, I decide to purchase the protection plan. In addition, I also purchase the upgrade titled “Accidental Damage Coverage”. Sure enough, about 6 weeks later, one of the boys tears the back of the recliner and I call the customer service line.)

Me: “I purchased a recliner 6 weeks ago and purchased the accidental damage protection plan. There’s a rip in the back, and I’d like to make a claim.”

Employee: “Okay, I have your account pulled up. How did the damage occur?”

Me: “My boys were rough-housing in the living room and tore the fabric on the back of the chair.”

Employee: “I see. Unfortunately, since the damage was the result of an accident, and not a manufacturing defect, the plan does not cover repair or replacement.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand. What was the point of selling an accidental damage plan if it won’t cover accidental damage?”

Employee: “I do apologize, but the accidental damage plan does not cover accidental damage.”

Me: “Did you really just say that with a straight face?!”

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Try Wallmart

| Queensland, Australia | Right | May 10, 2012

(I work in the kitchen department of a furniture store.)

Customer: “This kitchen says $899.00. What do you get for that price?”

Me: “Well, miss, that price covers kitchen cabinets, a bench top, legs and handles, but not the sink, tap or appliances.”

Customer: “So, you get everything?”

Me: “Everything except the sink, tap, and appliances.”

Customer: “Oh, so you don’t get the sink, tap, or appliances, but everything else?”

Me: “Yep, everything else in that kitchen.”

Customer: “So, you get the wall?”

Me: “No…the wall is not included.”

Customer: “But it says everything except the sink, tap, and appliances. It doesn’t say you don’t get the wall.”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, I am confident that I cannot sell you our wall.”

Customer: “Are you sure? Can you check for me please? Can you just make sure because that’s not what it says.”

Me: *speechless* “I’ll get my manager.”

Manager: “No, ma’am, the walls are not included with the price of our kitchens. Otherwise, we could only sell four of them before we’d need to rebuild the entire store.”

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Marriage: The Ultimate Slippery Slope

, | East Greenwich, RI, USA | Romantic | September 25, 2011

(I work in the shipping and receiving department of a furniture store, where customers ring a bell so I can give them their box. We also have a loading dock for semi’s.)

Outside: *BANG! BANG!*

(Alarmed, I go to the loading dock where I see an E-class Mercedes sliding repeatedly down the icy incline and crashing into the building.)

Me: “Sir! Sir! What are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m trying to pick up my f***ing table! You call this customer pick-up?”

Me: “No, Sir. We call this the loading dock. The customer service door is right over here.” *points at door*

Customer: “F***! Would you come down here and help push my car up the grade while I floor it?”

Me: “Sir, that incline is solid ice. If I slip or your car slides down, I could be killed. So, no, I won’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you!”

Me: “Okay, sir. Just ring this bell over here when you get out.”

(After a few more minutes and several more crashing noises, the bell rings. I open the door and it’s the same customer standing outside.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I need this.” *hands me slip*

Me: “Okay, sir, I’ll have that ready right here for you. Would you like some help getting it into the car?”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(The customer takes the box by himself and attempts to fit box into his back seat but fails, as it’s filled with various items. He pulls out a child’s stroller and throws it across the road and into the woods, where it catches and hangs on a tree branch. He then proceeds to throw all other items in his car out onto road. The whole time, his wife is standing with me and watching.)

Customer’s wife: “Here you go.” *gives me a $10 tip*

Me: “Good luck with that guy.”

Customer’s wife: “Yeah, thanks. He’s still got to put that table together!”

Also seen on: Not Always Right

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