Stereotypes Are All The Same Anyway

| El Paso, TX, USA | Top

(I’m a customer and am looking at dining tables. I’m an obvious Muslim as I wear a hijab. Another customer sees me with my son in a stroller and walks over.)

Another customer: “I thought you people couldn’t use electronics?”

Me: “That’s the Amish. And a stroller isn’t electronic.”

Another customer: “Oh…” *walks off*

To Have And To Hold On To The Recliner

| Milford, CT, USA | Uncategorized

(I am about to sell a couple of recliners to a wife and her husband.)

Me: “Alright, folks. I can go ring up those two recliners for you.”

Wife: “Will they take our old recliner with them when they deliver the new one?”

Me: “Well, they can move it to another room or bring it out to the curb free of charge. But if you want them to actually bring it with them, it’s a $50 charge. They have to make a separate trip to donate or dispose of it.”

Husband: “$50? That’s ridiculous!”

Wife: “Are you kidding? We don’t know anybody who will do it for us. If we hire someone, we’re never going to find someone to do it for less than $50.”

Husband: “It’s $50!”

Wife: “Did you not hear what I just said?”

Husband: “Yeah, but I’m not paying $50 for them to take away our old chair.”

Wife, to me: “Can you please excuse us for two minutes so we can have an argument?”

(I walk away while they continue to fight. Sure enough, two minutes later, the wife calls me back over.)

Wife: “Okay, we’re done arguing. We’ll pay the $50 for the haul away.”

(The husband looks down at the floor and says nothing.)

Related:
To Have And To Hold On To The Remote

Surely Knot Elastic

| Sheffield, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you make curtains to order?”

Me: “Certainly. Do you have your measurements?”

Customer: *pleased with his cleverness* “I couldn’t find a tape measure, so I used this piece of string. The width is from the end of the string to this knot.”

Me: “Sir, this is a piece of elastic.”

Customer: “So?”

(He hands me the elastic string, which I proceed to stretch.)

Me: “Is your window this wide, or this wide, or this wide?”