Shedding Bad Service

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Working | August 1, 2017

(My husband and I want matching coffee table and end tables, but are having a difficult time deciding on which set to purchase. One of our “must haves” is that the tables would be easy to clean. Here’s why: We have two cats. I thought it was fairly common knowledge that shed cat hair tends to float around and land on every available surface. While looking at a complicated wooden table design with glass inlays and a high rim around the edge of the table, this takes place…)

Me: *to Husband* “I don’t know. Look at all the crevices and stuff that we’d have to get into to clean. And that rim on the edge. I feel like it’d be really difficult for me to dust and wipe down.”

Saleslady: *older, white-haired* “Oh, no, hon. You just get a cotton swab or a toothpick and just get right into those cracks. It’s easy!

Me: “Sure, but I don’t want to have to do that every other day when I’m dusting for cat hair.”

Saleslady: *looking appalled* “Cat hair?!”

Me: “Yes. We have two cats. They shed.”

Saleslady: “But… the cat hair gets on the coffee table!?”

Me: “Clearly, you have never owned a cat before.”

(The woman stared at us for several seconds before she made a disgusted noise, looked down her nose at me, and left. We went back to shopping for tables with a different salesperson.)

Wish He Would Just Sit Down And Stay

| USA | Working | July 24, 2017

(I see an ad that a store is going out of business and having a liquidation sale. Excited, I go to see, since I’ve been looking for a chair. But I’m disappointed because the prices are in the $1000 range. A salesman comes over.)

Salesman: “Hello, what’re you looking for? A bed? A sofa? A rug?”

Me: “A chair.”

Salesman: “We have those! And also tables, and curios, and…”

(He goes on and on. I’m becoming bored.)

Me: “Okay… I’ll just have look around.”

Salesman: “Sure! Look! Don’t look at those prices; just buy what your heart wants!”

(So I look, but then he starts following me, everywhere. I’m becoming more and more skeeved out, so I head for the door.)

Salesman: “Wait, look at this chair, it reclines!”

(I laughed, which made him angry, so I left. I don’t know how overly aggressive salespeople like him ever make money. The furniture was nice but he wasn’t.)

Not Always Related, Romantic, Or Working

| WA, USA | Working | May 31, 2017

(My father has passed away recently. A few weeks later my mom comes from out of state to visit. While we are out for lunch, we see a sign that a local store is having a retirement/going out-of-business sale. Mom wants to look around, and see if there was something she would like. We pick up a salesman (the retiring owner), who follows us around. I am 50; my mom is 20 years my senior.)

Mom: “Your dad would have liked this. I miss him so much.”

Me: “So do I. Love you, mom.”

(Gives her a hug.)

Salesman: “Ah, yes, young love.”

(We didn’t buy anything.)

Up To 75% Of Customers Won’t Read It

| NY, USA | Right | March 3, 2017

(We are having a sale on our furniture. The signs all say “up to 75% off” with the “up to” being half the size of the “75% off”. I know it’s a common marketing plot to catch attention, but we still get a lot of customers in each day thinking EVERYTHING is 75% off.)

Customer #1: “Um, excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, did you have a question?”

Customer #1: “So, like, is EVERYTHING 75% off?”

Me: “No, but the furniture pieces that ARE a part of the sale are all marked from 10-75% off. See, this one is 30% off.”

Customer #1: “So… NOTHING is 75% off?”

Me: “…”

Customer #2: “It’s 75% off all furniture?”

Me: “No, sorry. Just a few pieces are 75% off, but most of our items are marked off from 10-75% off.”

Customer #2: “But the sign says 75% off all furniture.”

Me: “No, it says UP TO 75% off SELECT PIECES.”

Customer #2: “Well, that’s misleading.”

Customer #3: “So, is the 75% off the original price of the sale price?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer #3: “Like, is this 75% off the original price, or the 30% off price?”

Me: “Neither. That piece is 30% off. The sale is UP TO 75% off. Some of our pieces are 20% off, some are 50%, 60%, this and this over here are 75% off.”

Customer #3: “Well, that’s just stupid.”

Customer #4: “Hi, I like this. How much is it with the 75% off?”

Me: “That piece isn’t on sale.”

Customer #4: “But it says 75% off.”

Me: “Select pieces. The sale is 10-75% off select pieces. They’re all marked.”

Customer #4: “Well, show me the 75% off ones, then.”

Me: “Certainly. This funky one here is—”

Customer #4: “UGH, ew, no, that’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Customer #5: “Are you going out of business?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer #5: “Why is everything 75% off then?”

Me: “It isn’t. We are having a sale on our furniture and pieces are UP TO 75% off. We’re just trying to make room for new items.”

Customer #5: “Well, that doesn’t make sense to me. But I’m glad you’re not going out of business. I LOVE this store!”

Me: “Were you looking for something specific today?”

Customer #5: “Oh, heavens no. I can’t afford anything in here. But I’m glad you’re not going out of business!”

It’s Time To Throw In The Towel

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Right | February 14, 2017

(I’m the stupid customer here. I’m looking for a long carpet for my hallway when I spot something that looks perfect but it’s too short. I find an employee and ask for help.)

Me: “Do you sell something like this but 12-15 ft. long?”

Employee: “That’s very big, sir. Why would you need something like that?”

Me: “It’s for my hallway.”

Employee: “I don’t think we have anything like that in the size you’re looking for.”

Me: “Are you sure? I saw longer rugs in here last week.”

Employee: “Uh… sir, that’s a towel.”

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