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No Matter Which Way You Look, This Is Strange

, , , , , | Right | February 10, 2021

I am working, counting stock, at a large furniture store, and a customer approaches me to ask for directions.

Customer: “Hi, I have this shelf location here, but I’m not quite sure how to find it.”

Me: “Yeah, the numbering system is a little weird, but all the even aisles are on that side—” *points west* “—and all the odd aisles are on this side.” *Gestures to the aisle we are in* “You want aisle thirty-three, which is on the other side of the warehouse, near the cash registers.” *Points west toward aisle thirty-three*

Customer: “So, over there?”

The customer points east, directly opposite to where I was pointing.

Me: “No, that way.”

I point to aisle thirty-three.

Customer: “This way?”

The customer points in the opposite direction again.

Me: “What? No. Look, follow me.”

I take them to the centre of the warehouse.

Me: “See that big sign with ‘thirty-three’ on it? That’s where you need to go.”

Customer: “So, over this way?” *Points in the opposite direction*

Me: *Pause* “I’m gonna go see if I can find someone to help you.” *Walks away*

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Hatchback Up A Little Bit

, , , , , | Right | February 10, 2021

I am working, counting stock, when a customer approaches me to ask for help.

Customer: “Excuse me, I was just wondering if this—” *indicates to bookshelf* “—will fit in my car.”

Me: “Okay, sure. I don’t actually work in this department but I’ll see if I can help.”

Customer: *Waits expectantly*

Me: “Uh, well, what kind of car do you have?”

Customer: “A Toyota.”

Me: “A Toyota what?”

Customer: “Carolla.”

Me: “Sedan, hatchback?”

Customer: “Hatchback.”

Me: “Okay, great. Well, I actually have that same model of car, and funnily enough, I just bought one of these bookcases and it’s a bit of a squeeze, but it’ll definitely fit.”

Customer: “But will it fit in my car?”

Me: “Well, we have the same car, and it’s the same bookshelf, so I’m very confident it will. It fit when I put it in my car.”

Customer: “But will it fit in my car?”

Me: “Yes. It will. You just have to fold the back seats down.”

Customer: “We can’t fold the seats down because we have the baby seat in the back!”

Me: *Thinking* “Then maybe don’t come furniture shopping in a tiny hatchback with your whole family?”

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No Means No, Manager!

, , , , | Working | January 13, 2021

I am working at the front desk at a furniture store. I often end up doing whatever the h*** managers don’t want to do; this is a family-owned operation. When I started with this job, I was an idiot and made the mistake of saying yes whenever my manager asked me to work extra hours because I had bills to pay after having been jobless for about a month and a half. Of course, my manager(s) took that to mean that they could make me work whenever they didn’t want to come in.

Fast forward about a year, and my manager is going to be out of town. By this point, I’m in a mini-argument with her every week about being able to take my REGULAR days off; she keeps trying to come up with reasons she needs me to open the store or come in during the middle of the day, etc. It’s a whole bunch of bulls*** and I should have reported them. Anyway, she’s going to be out of town and she pulls me into the back to have this conversation.

Manager: “Okay, while I’m gone, I need you in every day.”

Me: “No.”

Manager: “But [Salesperson #1] doesn’t have a key so you need to show up to let him in, and [Salesperson #2] won’t open the store.”

They really cater to whatever the salespeople want because they “make the store money.” [Salesperson #2] literally works for like four and a half hours a day, two days a week, and doesn’t do anything except sit when there aren’t customers in the store. [Salesperson #1] is an a**, but at least he’s willing to help rearrange things or clean and dust displays.

Me: “I’m not coming in on my days off.”

Manager: “I need you to open the store.”

Me: “[Delivery Guy #1] can do it; he’s already said he would.”

Manager: “No, you need to come in and help me out.”

Me: “I’m not coming in on my days off.”

Manager: “Please?”

Me: “No. Next week is actually my birthday and I’m not coming in.”

I am lucky enough that my birthday falls on my actual day off this year.

Manager: “Well, can you just come in until like five or six and then go to your party?”

The store is only open until eight. By this point in the job, I am pretty much trying to get fired because I am so tired of everything. And I really don’t want to come in on my birthday, let alone my day off. The only reason I haven’t quit is that I can’t afford to leave without having another job already lined up. Looking back, I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t have fired me without me literally setting something on fire.

Me: “No. I’m not coming in on my birthday and I really don’t want to come in on my days off.”

Manager: “I need you to open the store while I’m gone.”

Me: “[Warehouse Manager] can do it.”

Manager: “He’s taking care of something else for me while I’m gone.”

The warehouse manager is in the store every day, but he literally stays in the back office and sleeps. He only comes out if something needs to be fixed or I am unable to go to the warehouse to receive deliveries.

Me: “I’m not coming in on my birthday.”

We ended up going back and forth for a while longer and I (stupidly) ended up caving. I did walk out at like twelve, but still. The rest of those two weeks was ridiculous. I ended up clocking something like 100+ hours for that period because I wasn’t ever able to take lunches and she was making me stay all day. Then, to top it off, I only actually got paid for something like eighty-five hours because “accounting will automatically take an hour for lunch no matter what” and [Manager] “didn’t pay overtime.”

I seriously should have reported them; there were so many violations and just plain bad business practices! When I left, I was so glad to get out of there that I ran as fast as I could and never looked back. I will admit to laughing my a** off when I saw that they’d gone out of business about a year later.

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To Catch A Kid, You Have To Think Like A Kid

, , , , , | Friendly | December 28, 2020

I’m wandering around the massive expanse of a Swedish furniture and home decor store with my partner when I hear this over the loudspeaker:

Loudspeaker: “Code Adam in kitchen section. Code Adam in kitchen section.”

We are in the kitchen section, so I look around to see a distraught woman surrounded by three employees. Ah, well, all seems to be handled, I figure, so my partner and I continue to the next section… where I see the toes of some little running shoes sticking out from behind a cabinet.

Me: *To my partner* “Hold on a second.”

I break away from him and find a young boy, maybe three years old, crouching behind the cabinet. He is grinning and he keeps peeking around the corner toward the kitchen section. I move beside him and slide down the cabinet to sit beside him — on the far side so I’m not blocking his view of the kitchen section.

Me: “Are you playing hide-and-seek?”

He looks at me excitedly and nods. I nod back.

Me: “With your mum?”

He nods again enthusiastically.

Me: “Does she know?”

The nod comes WAY slower and is very hesitant.

Me: “Okay. What say we go tell your mum that you’re playing? Then she’ll be ready to play and it’ll be more fun.”

Boy: “Okay!”

He leaps up and we walk side-by-side back into the kitchen section. When his Mum sees him, she breaks away from the group of employees and races to her boy. I nod at her and walk away, back to my partner, who’s flabbergasted.

Partner: “What happened?”

Me: “The mum lost her kid. I just brought him back.”

Partner: “What? How did you know?”

Me: “A freaked-out woman and some kid’s feet? I just figured that they’ve gotta be connected, you know?”

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup!

Read the next Best Of December 2020 roundup story!

Read the Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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You’ve Burned Your Bed And Now You Must Lie In It

, , , | Right | December 7, 2020

This is a chat transcript from the online support of our furniture store.

Guest: “Hi, I need a new bed.”

Me: “I am happy to help, [Guest]. Are you looking to place a new order or file a warranty claim on a mattress you feel has a manufacturing defect?”

Guest: “Warranty claim for my bed. My grandmother purchased it. Her customer ID is [number].”

Me: “Please visit [Warranty Website] to start the free Warranty eClaim. If you follow the step-by-step instructions and submit the required pictures, you will receive a response within five to ten business days. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

Guest: “I cannot provide pictures; bed destroyed.”

Me: “What do you mean, it is destroyed?”

Guest: “House fire.”

Me: “I am so sorry to hear that. However, that is not a manufacturing defect. You would need to file a claim with your home insurance.”

Guest: “It’s all about money to you companies!” *Ends chat*

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