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Planting A Seed Of Crazy

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(My fiancé and I are browsing at a local furniture store for a new bed. This particular store showcases their furniture in different styles, such as a sofa and entertainment center would be set up in a living room style. We are walking past the section where all the office desks, filing cabinets, and other related items are. When I pause to tie my shoe, I notice a woman with a gallon of water.)

Lady: “Don’t tell anybody I’m doing this, okay, hon?”

(She then starts pouring water into the fake plants.)

Me: *flagging down the nearest employee* “Excuse me, but there’s a woman in the office section trying to water the fake plants.”

Employee: “Oh, shoot! How’d she get back in here?” *radios the security guard* “Hey, Andy, Mrs. Francis made her way back in. Can you come escort her out?”

Me: “She’s been here before?”

Employee: “Yes! She’s a local who believes our fake plants are real, so she tries to water them. There are other stores who have fake plants, but she seems to be extremely fixated on the ones we have here.”

(At this point, the security is holding onto the screaming woman’s arm.)

Security: “Mrs. Francis, we’ve already told you. Those plants are fake, and you cannot bring liquids into the store. It will damage the wood!”

(Suddenly the lady sees me standing there and she narrows her eyes at me.)

Lady: “You! I thought you were a good person! You ratted me out, you dumb b****!”

Me: “I’m sorry…”

(As she’s pulled away from the store, I can hear her screaming:)

Lady: “You’re all plant murderers! Not only do you cut down trees to make your furniture, but you starve those poor plants to death! Shame on all of you! I hope you get choked to death by my dangling vines!”

Fiancé: “Well, that was interesting. I wonder what she meant by ‘my dangling vines’?”

Employee: “That’s nothing compared to what she did or said on Arbor Day.”

Me: “What about Earth Day?”

Employee: *shudders* “You don’t want to know, and I don’t want to remember.”

Maybe You Should Sleep On It

| FL, USA | Home Improvement, Spouses & Partners

(An elderly couple comes in to buy a mattress. A coworker of mine is assisting them as they look at a new set.)

Husband: *examining mattress* “Is this mattress double-sided?”

Coworker: “Nope.”

Husband: “Oh… how do you know which side to sleep on?”

Coworker: “The side that has the quilt on it…”

Parting With Some Closing Comments

| NH, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(I work at a well-known furniture franchise part time while attending college. Since I have classes during the day, I usually get stuck doing the closing shift. The store is supposed to close at nine – however, many nights, the office staff is stuck late due to the sales associates and their customers.)

Me: *over intercom at ten to nine* “Attention [Store] customers, the store will be closing in ten minutes. If you have any questions, please see your nearest sales associate. Thank you!”

(Ten minutes go by.)

Me: *over intercom* “Attention [Store] customers, the store is now closed. Please see your nearest sales associate if you have any further questions. Thank you!”

(45 minutes later, the customer and sales associate FINALLY get to the desk. Whilst finalizing the transaction, the customer makes this comment:)

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

Me: “We close at 9.”

Customer: “Oh. But it’s 9:45.”

Me: “Yes, well, we have to stay open to serve customers.”

Customer: “Yeah… that announcement over the intercom is pretty rude. You guys shouldn’t do that.”

Me: *trying not to scream* “Well, I apologize if it reads that way. However, without the announcement, some customers will stay hours past closing to finish shopping.” *pointed stare at customer*

Customer: “Yeah, but who shops for furniture that late anyway? You shouldn’t make those announcements. They distract people.”

(She finished paying and left. I ended up having to stay until 10:15 to finish closing out the front desk, since everyone else already went home.)

Should Take Stock Of Your Complaint

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior

(A customer calls multiple times to schedule her pick up. She is told by more than one manager, that she can’t come during the one hour she wants to come, because we don’t have stock support during that time, and there are certain items that only our stock crew are allowed to handle due to weight. She ends up showing up during this time anyway, with her husband in tow, thinking that it is okay since she brought him to help. I explain to her, AGAIN, the reasons we need to have our stock associates load her purchase, and she just stares at me blankly while shaking her head. At this point, I am more annoyed than anything, and I decide to just help my solo stock associate load the items, breaking company policy.)

Customer: “First you tell me that there aren’t enough people to load my purchase, and then you decide to load my items anyway. Clearly there are enough people; you just didn’t want to help.”

Customer’s Husband: *to his wife* “Go sit in the car. You don’t even work, you don’t understand how companies operate, and you have no idea what you’re talking about. These gentlemen are just trying to help you, and you are doing everything you can to be upset, no matter what they do.”

(After a moment’s silence, the customer walked off through the alleyway and down the street, hopefully never to be seen again.)

I Don’t Work Here Is Lost In Translation

| Midlands, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

(I work in a department store, but am not employed by that company so I can’t handle their furniture or answer questions about it either. To help customers realise there is a difference, I tend to wear coloured clothes as the host store staff can only wear black. I’m currently cleaning a selection of finishes and the customer beckons me over.)

Customer: “Thank god we found someone. Now, we want something that is full wood. Nothing veneered and nothing of this chipboard rubbish. Do you have any?”

Me: “My company doesn’t do full wood pieces, only veneers. If you find any of the ladies or gents in black who are in charge of [Host Store]’s stock, they’ll be able to help you. I’m a rep from a different company so I don’t know their stock.”

Customer: “No.” *starts to slow her speech down* “Do you have any full wood pieces?”

Me: “Like I said, I don’t, but if you find one of the ladies or gents in black they may have some.”

Customer: *slowing down to the pace you’d use to teach babies new words now* “Dooo yoooou haaaave aaaanny fuuuuull woooooood piiiiieeeces?”

Me: “No. As I’ve said, my company doesn’t but [Host Store] may do.”

Customer: “You really don’t understand what I’m saying and you sound foreign!”

Me: “Eigentlich bin ich aus Deutschland, aber ich war in England angehoben. Ich versichere Ihnen, ich verstehe dich, aber ich kann nicht sagen, das Gefühl.” *Actually I am from Germany, but I was raised in England. I assure you I understand you, but I can’t say the feeling is mutual*

(With that the customer stormed off and I saw her repeating the whole thing again to one of the Host Store people.)

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