(I’m helping an elderly customer look for a book when some guy interrupts, speaking gibberish. I can’t understand what he’s saying at all.)

Me: “I’m sorry, could you try to describe it?”

Gibberish Guy: *gibberish*

Me: “Sorry?”

Gibberish Guy: *gibberish*

(The elderly customer apparently understands and begins speaking to the guy.)

Elderly Customer: *gibberish*

Gibberish Guy: *gibberish*

Elderly Customer: *To me.* “Music books?”

Me: “Over there.”

Elderly Customer: *gibberish*

Gibberish Guy: *gibberish*

Elderly Customer: *To me.* “Where?”

Me: “In the corner.”

Elderly Customer: *gibberish*

Gibberish Guy: *gibberish*

(The gibberish guy leaves.)

Me: “Uh, thanks for the translation.”

Elderly Customer: “Oh, I speak a little of everything.”

Me: “What language were they speaking?”

Elderly Customer: “I don’t know.”

(I’m working at a well-known Scandinavian furniture store. Our children’s supervised play area only allows ages 3 to 6. Parents need to fill in a form with the names of the children and the address…)

Customer: *writes down age 7*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but only children from 3 until 6 are allowed to play in here.”

Customer: *makes a 6 out of the 7 and looks at me with a big smile*

Me: “…”

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Coffee Shop]. How can I help you?”

Regular Customer: “Hey, buddy!”

Me: “How are ya today? The usual?”

Regular Customer: “Nope, I cut back on my sugar. I no longer take eight.”

Me: “Oh. What can I get you, then?”

Regular Customer: “I’ll get a large with seven-and-three-quarters sugar.”

(I work at a popular fast food restaurant. Drive-through customers should be aware that we can hear every word they say.)

Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [fast food place]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just need a minute to decide.”

Coworker: “No problem, just let me know when you are ready.”

(The customer talks to his passengers, while we listen…)

Customer: *to his passengers* “I should ask for something dumb on my ice cream, just to see what they say. How about pickles? They would probably just ignore me. Oh, I know… tomatoes!”

Customer: *to my coworker* “Okay, I’m ready.”

Coworker: “Alright, go ahead…”

Customer: “I’d like an ice cream sundae with tomatoes on it, please.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, due to the recent recall in the States, we aren’t serving tomatoes right now. Can I offer you a sundae with pickles instead?”

Customer: *drives off without ordering anything*

(We have a lot of patriotic displays up in the store windows for the 4th of July: flags, red white and blue balloons, Uncle Sam hats, etc.)

Old Lady #1: “Wow, look at all of these! It’s Christmas in July.”

Old Lady #2: “I love it when they do this. I love crazy things like Christmas in July!”

This story is part of our July 4th roundup!

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