Me: “We should watch that circus movie starring not-Hugh-Grant.”
Husband: “You mean The Greatest Showman with Hugh Jackman?”
Me: *Laughing* “Yes. That’s the one!”
I love it when he knows what I’m talking about.
There’s an eclipse today and my entire class wants to see it. My maths teacher, however, is unwilling to let us out of class. Eventually, we stop begging permission and just rush out of class and start peering at the rapidly darkening sky.
We’re not the only ones; pretty much the entire school has crowded into the hallways and parade square to look at the sky.
Math Teacher: “All of you, back into class! What would [Principal] say if he saw you all?!”
My classmate then points down, into the parade square, where the principal is setting up the largest camera I’ve ever seen and pointing it into the sky, cheerfully and excitedly talking with some students.
Our math teacher lets out a scandalised sound of disbelief.
Math Teacher: “Disgraceful! The education system is going to the dogs!”
She then stomped off, leaving us to watch the eclipse in peace. It was amazing, the first anyone in school had ever seen.
The principal’s photos later wound up as part of the school song music video.
This story is part of the Eclipse roundup!
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An employee is helping me when another customer comes up and interrupts.
Customer: “Um, hi, sorry quick question. Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?”
Employee: “Residential or automotive?”
Customer: “Well, there’s a car on fire in the parking lot, so whatever’s good for that.”
The employee called 911, instead.
Customer: “I’d like a bag of your clams and a bag of your mussels.”
Me: “Here you go! That’s [total].”
Customer: “I can cook them in the same pot, right? They won’t, like, try to fight each other?”
My boyfriend and I have just been intimate. We’re sitting on the bed chatting about it.
Boyfriend: “And you were all, ‘Tell me I’m bad! Tell me I’ve been bad!’ but I don’t— I just—”
He sputters a bit.
Boyfriend: *Flustered* “I don’t want to! You’re a nice lady!”
