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Now Playing: Busted

, , , , , , , | Right | July 24, 2008

Me: “Welcome to [Movie Theater]. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Two for [R-Rated Movie].”

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have any.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell you any tickets.”

Customer: “But I’m 17! I’m allowed to see it!”

Me: “Not without an ID you aren’t! And even if you had an ID, I could only sell you one. You have to be 21 to buy more than one.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! Look, I drove here today!”

(At this point he flashes Daddy’s Mercedes keys in my face to “prove” he drove here.)

Me: “So, let me get this straight. You drove your Mercedes here without any form of ID, including a driver’s license?”

Customer: “YEAH! WHAT OF IT?!”

Me: “I’m sure the Raleigh Police Officer standing right behind you would love to have a word with you.”


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When Not In Rome…

, , , , , | Right | July 23, 2008

(A customer comes in looking for a specific FM transmitter. I point him in the right direction and he comes back five minutes later with the device in hand.)

Me: “Found it all right?”

Customer: “Yup. I came, I saw, I conquered.”

Me: “Veni, vidi, vici?”

Customer: “What the h*** did you just call me?!”

The Infomercials Must Love You

, , , , , | Right | July 22, 2008

(A customer comes up to the register with her sandwich purchase, which had sun-dried tomatoes on it.)

Customer: “Do you make the sun-dried tomatoes here?”

Me: *jokingly* “Yes, we have several lawn chairs in back. We cut the tomatoes into little strips and leave them out there for a week or two. ”

Customer: “Really?!”

Me: “No, I was just kidding. We get them from a distributor. ”

Customer: “Well, that’s not nice of you at all! When I was growing up I was always taught to believe things I was told by salespeople!”


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You Can Lead A Horse To Water, Part 2

, , , | Right | July 18, 2008

(The store in question is very small: eight aisles, total, in a nice, easy-to-see square configuration.)

Customer: “Where are your batteries?”

Me: “Aisle three.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “Aisle three…” *points* “… just behind you.”

Customer: “Oh. Which one is aisle three?”

Me: “The one with the ‘three’ on it, sir. In between aisles two and four.”

Customer: “Thanks!” *wanders off into aisle two*

Boss: “Don’t do that again.”

Related:
You Can Lead A Horse To Water


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But Is It Fully Armed And Operational?

, , , , | Right | July 18, 2008

Customer: “Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me?”

Me: “Of course. What are you after?”

Customer: “Well, my son is a huge Star Wars fan and he really wants one of those lightsabers.”

Me: “Not a problem; we have plenty of them. Was there any particular one you were after.”

Customer: “Do you have one of the ones that come out of the handle?”

Me: “We have several pop-out ones. They also make a sound.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(They walk off and pick some of the different designs up and walk back to me.)

Customer: “Hi again.”

Me: “Did you find one?”

Customer: “Not the one that he wants.”

Me: “Well, we also have some better ones in the window. Would you like to see?”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I get a prop lightsaber out of the window and show it to them.)

Customer: “Hmm, it doesn’t seem to be the right one.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s all we really do.”

Customer: “So you don’t do the one that cuts things?”

Me: “Erm, the ones that cut things?”

Customer: “You know, the ones from the movies.”

Me: *giving up* “Erm… you could try [Toy Store], they should do them.”

Customer: “Brilliant, thanks very much.”

(If that wasn’t bad enough, it happened about three times in the past year.)


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