One day in March or April, one of my classmates comes to class wearing a full-body Pikachu costume. The professor is just as perplexed as all of us.

Professor: “Why on Earth are you wearing that?”

Student: “But [Professor], it’s in the syllabus!”

Professor: “Where is it in the syllabus that you should wear a Pikachu costume today?”

Student: “It says, right here, for today’s lesson, ‘Come in costume.’”

They show the professor a copy of the syllabus.

Professor: “So it does.” *Eyes go wide in realization* “Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is why you don’t just copy the lesson plan from the last semester and change the dates without bothering to read it. When I taught this course in the fall semester, this lesson was on Halloween. I didn’t realize that was still in there!”

My mother told me this story. It was teacher training day at the school where she’d been a teacher for a long time, around 1970. A couple of police detectives were running a training session about illegal drugs. They passed around some marijuana so the teachers could learn what it smelled like.

Young Teacher #1: “This doesn’t smell like marijuana at all.”

Young Teacher #2: “I agree.”

Police Officer: *Sheepishly* “The sample really isn’t marijuana. We couldn’t locate any in time for the training session.”

I have two German shepherds that I take to obedience training at the local kennel club. My state is coming out of the first lockdown, and the club has permission to resume classes if we maintain social distancing and are masked. The training hall is quite large so staying six feet apart is not a problem.

Before class one evening, the club secretary announces that, due to a change in state guidance, we no longer have to wear masks as long as: one, there are no more of ten of us in the hall, and two, we are all vaccinated.

Senior Trainer: *Chuckling* “This has to be the first time in club history you’re going to be asking if the humans have had their shots!”

Caller: “I’m looking for a clock. I was told it has to be an NP1.”

I’m clueless as to what NP1 means in regards to clocks.

Me: “Is that a brand? What does that refer to?”

Caller: “I actually have no idea; it’s just what they told me. I was looking at all the different clocks on your website, and I found [part number]. Is that NP1?”

I pull up the part number and it’s a sealant. I figure I must have misheard him.

Me: “I’m sorry. Can you repeat the part number for me?”

He repeats the same part number and I repeat the number back.

Me: “It’s coming up as a sealant for me.”

Caller: “Yes, a sealant. Like the kind you would in a clock gun.”

Caulk. The guy was looking for caulk.

My youngest son comes up with some very entertaining one-liners. While watching “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” for the umpteenth time, we get to the part where it is revealed that one of the Weasley twins has died, but my husband and I can never remember which twin it is. My son offers up this gem.

Son: “It’s Fred, the one who still has his ear…” *slight pause* “…not that he’s going to need it anymore.”

I ended up laughing hysterically at a normally sad moment in this movie.