Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

What They Really Think

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2008

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid your SIM card has been destroyed due to entering your PUK code too many times. You will have to get a new one.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

Some moments pass and he hasn’t hung up. I put the phone on mute.

Customer: “Stupid b****!”

(He follows this up with miscellaneous other insults. I take mute off.)

Me: “Uh, sir, you might want to disconnect the line, I’m still here.”

Customer: “OH, F***!” *click*


This story is part of our Swearing Customers roundup!

Read the next Swearing Customers roundup story!

Read the Swearing Customers roundup!

DE TING, DE TING!!!

, , , , , | Right | February 2, 2008

(I worked tech support for a major software company, specifically with their digital media products. This call was about their video editing software.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company] tech support.

(The customer gives me her info and has a thick accent I can’t place.)

Me: “Great! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yes. I am trying to edit dees beedio, and eet’s blue and blue on de ting.”

Me: “So… it’s blue, and blue… on the thing?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Where is it blue?”

Customer: “On de ting.”

Me: “By ‘thing,’ do you mean the computer screen or your camera?”

Customer: “Yes… de ting.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t see what you are looking at so you’ll have to tell me the name of the thing that is blue.”

Customer: *getting angry* “DE TING!!! Eeet’s BLUUUUE AN BLUUUEE ON DE TING!!!!”

Me: “What exactly is blue? The video on your monitor? Are you outputting to TV? The viewfinder on your camera?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Yes… which one?”

Customer: *yelling* “DE TING!!!!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I don’t understand where you are having a problem.”

Customer: “THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! I SPEAK PERFECT ENGLISH!!! MY HUSBAND TAUGHT ME HE WILL BE VERY VERY ANGRY WIT YOU!!! I DEMAND RESPECT!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!”

Me: “Ma’am, I agree. You speak English very, very well. The problem I am having is you are not telling me where you are seeing blue video.”

Customer: “ON DE TIIIING!!!”

(This exchange went on for a while before she got frustrated and hung up. The best part is, my call was being listened to by some higher level support guys. They created an internal troubleshooting document that appeared as follows:)

PROBLEM: VIDEO IS BLUE AND BLUE ON THE THING.

SOLUTION: NONE AT THIS TIME.

TROUBLESHOOTING:
>(TECH SUPPORT) IS THE THING BLUE? TRY REINSTALLING THE THING.

>(TECH SUPPORT) THING REINSTALLED. STILL BLUE.

>(ENGINEER) CANNOT RECREATE THING IN LAB.

>(ENGINEER) PROBLEM ALMOST RECREATED. THING RED.

(And so on and so on…)

Breaking The Terms of Service, LA-Style

, , , , , | Right | January 31, 2008

(A customer is looking at a laptop. I approach to help.)

Me: “That’s a really great computer.”

Customer: “I don’t need a computer. I need wireless Internet.”

Me: “All right, how much range do you need cover?”

Customer: *dead serious* “From here to Santa Monica.”

(Note: This is about a distance of ten miles.)

Me: “All right, let’s start over. This time I’ll be the one from the future.”

Worst. Advertising. Ever.

, , , | Right | January 16, 2008

(My first day on the job at a Halloween shop, my manager decides that we aren’t getting enough business and proceeds to hand me a plastic pitchfork, wrap a feather boa around my neck, and shove me out onto a street corner in the ghetto with a sign.)

People: *in a passing car* “SATANIST B***H!” *throws ketchup packets at me*

(A short time later, a white car driven by an older man pulls up.)

Older Man: “Miss?”

Me: *walks over* “Yes?”

Older Man: “How much?”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Older Man: “Well, I don’t usually go for the satanic-looking type. I guess you could get out of all that black…”

Me: “What the… oh…” *I start laughing hysterically*

Older Man: “What? You aren’t?”

Me: *I point up towards the store* “Mister, I work for the Halloween shop…”

Older Man: “Oh, when do you open?”

Me:I don’t. The store is open now, though.”

(The older man blushed and sped away. After that, I picked up my sign, went back to the store, and told my manager that I refused to do that ever again.)


This story is part of the Crazy-First-Day roundup!

Read the next Crazy-First-Day roundup story!

Read the Crazy-First-Day roundup!

And The Cases Serve Their Purpose

, , , | Right | January 11, 2008

(Note: this is before Halo 3 has come out. A customer walks into the store and looks at the display cases of Halo 3.)

Customer: “HALO 3 IS OUT! HOW DID I MISS IT?! Do you have any copies left?”

Me: “No. The game does not come out for another month.”

Customer: “Then why do you have the cases out on the floor already?! It’s ridiculous! It serves no purpose but to taunt the customer. I hate when stores do this!”

(Customer turns and complains to his friend for five minutes, then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Is there any way that I can reserve Halo 3?”

Me: “Yes, you can, for $5.”

(Customer buys the reserve.)

Me: *as he is leaving* “And the cases serve their purpose.”


This story is part of the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!

Read the next Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup story!

Read the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!


This story is part of the Very Wrong Customers roundup!

Read the next Very Wrong Customers roundup story!

Read the Very Wrong Customers roundup!