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Why The Customer Isn’t Always Right

, , , , | Right | March 21, 2008

(I was working at an unusually small location for an otherwise large pet store chain. Because of our size, we needed to store large heavy items like aquariums on the top shelves. On this particular night, we were shorthanded and I was one of only two people working.)

Customer: “I need a 55-gallon aquarium.”

Me: “Just a moment, I will need to call my co-worker back here to help me get it down.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I’m in a hurry.”

(At this point, I call my coworker, and he says he will be back as soon as he has cleared the line that has formed at his register.)

Me: “It will be just a few minutes before he can come back and help me.”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry, I really need it now!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but that is a heavy item, and I will not be able to get it down on my own.”

Customer: “Like h*** you won’t! I said get it for me now! The customer is always right!”

(This repeats for several minutes before I finally decide I’ve had enough. I go get a ladder and attempt to get the aquarium down. Predictably, I cannot hold it, and the thing falls and shatters to pieces all over the floor. The guy stands there dumbfounded, not quite understanding what just happened.)

Me: “As you said, the customer is always right! There you are sir, enjoy your new aquarium.”

I’m Sure They Can Make An Exception

, , , | Right | March 21, 2008

(An elderly woman drives up in her Mercedes and asks about our services.)

Woman: *in her Mercedes, after hearing prices* “These car washes aren’t expensive enough!” *drives away*

Manager: “I would’ve charged her more if she asked.”

Mission: Impossible, Part 3

, , , | Right | March 18, 2008

Customer: “Yeah I need some shelving.”

Me: “Sure, do you want the wall-mounted kind?”

Customer: “Oh… no.”

Me: “Okay, so you want the free-standing kind?

Customer: “No, that’s not it either.”

Me: “Umm, okay. Do you want it to hang from a ceiling or something?”

Customer: “No, I just want some shelving!”

Me: “Do you want it to levitate?”

Related:
Mission: Impossible, Part 2
Mission: Impossible

Fun With Language Barriers

, , , , , , | Right | March 18, 2008

(I work at this little burger joint in Seattle. I’m white, but I’m bilingual. Our grill workers all speak primarily Spanish, so I talk to customers in English and call back orders in Spanish.)

Old Man Customer: “Now, what is a pretty young thing like you doing speaking the Dirty Man’s Language?”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Old Man Customer: “You should be speaking English! It’s only natural, here in America!”

Me: “It’s just fastest, sir. The language communicates more efficiently in an environment like this.”

(I am not about to tell him that the grill workers are mostly South American immigrants, after hearing his first reaction.)

Old Man Customer: “Have some pride in your country! SPEAK ENGLISH when you call back my order, do you understand?”

Me: *knowing full well that his order won’t actually come through if I did that* “I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid it’s procedure.”

Old Man Customer: “I want to speak with your manager! This restaurant is just UNAMERICAN!”

Manager: *who had been working the register next to me* “Si, señor?”

Old Man Customer: *storms out*


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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Keeping Up Appearances

, , | Right | March 2, 2008

(I am working a children’s show at this theatre and this woman is helping a child with special needs. I am closing the theatre when she comes running up to me.)

Woman: “I think I left my phone inside the theatre. Can I just go check?”

(I let her inside and we begin looking where she had been sitting; neither of us can find it. At this point, she is on her knees sitting up, digging through her pockets.)

Woman: “Where the h*** could it have…”

(She freezes and pulls her phone out of her pocket. She looks at it and then THROWS IT UNDER A SEAT. She then bends over and grabs it.)

Woman: “I found it! Thank you so much.”

Me: *stifling laughter* “You’re welcome.”


This story is part of the Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup!

Read the next Problems That Resolve Themselves roundup story!

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