When I worked at the big chain pharmacy in my hometown, we would have big waves of customers coming in looking for prescriptions. Sometimes, when it was quieter, I would get into a stance as if I was playing baseball.

Coworker: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m getting ready for the bus of old ladies heading to the casino. They all need their dozen prescriptions, even though half of them aren’t due for a refill.”

Cut to about a year later. I moved out of my hometown to another part of the state, and I transferred to the pharmacy at that location. I continued my gag of getting into a baseball stance, explaining to my coworkers what it was about. One day, I looked out of the store to see a large group of older women beelining toward the pharmacy.

Me: “THE TIME HAS COME!”

Turns out, it really was a bus of ladies from a nearby senior living community heading to a casino, and they were using the advantage of having the bus to pick up their prescriptions before they left!

I ran a video rental store (I’m old, I know) that, for some strange reason, ended up on the local cuckoo church’s radar. On our grand opening, they all showed up to protest our having “3,000 dirty movies in the back room.” I tried to reason with them and explain that that was impossible, but it was no good. They “knew” they were right.

A manager came up with a brilliant plan. He called the media to cover the protest, and when they arrived, he escorted them into the six-foot-by-eight-foot backroom that was completely filled with a break table, a microwave, and a small bathroom.

By the time the media got done laughing and came out to interview the protesters, they were all gone.

It’s spring 2022 and everyone is back at the office. We’re having a meeting in one of the conference rooms. The person doing the presentation puts their slideshow up on the large smart monitor. This monitor is — I cannot stress this enough — in the same physical conference room where everyone else is.

Presenter: *Points at the screen* “Okay, can everyone see this?”

Everyone: “…Yes?”

Presenter: “Good. Now, I called this meeting to…”

The penny drops.

Presenter: “Oh. Sorry. It’s been two years of Zoom meetings.”

The store I work in does click-and-collect orders. I have a small queue, and I can hear a phone constantly pinging. I look up to see a man at the back of the queue on his phone, and he has a grin on his face. He gets to the front of my queue.

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my order.”

He thrusts his phone at me with his order number and QR code, but as he does this, it becomes clear that he has left his texts open. A picture message pops up, and it’s very X-rated.

I quickly give him back his phone. The customer looks startled and is about to protest, but I cut him off.

Me: “Maybe you should close your messages.”

He looked down at his phone, confused. I could see the second he realised, and I have honestly never seen a man go so red. He rushed off without his order, leaving me standing there asking myself if that had really just happened.

I haven’t seen the customer since, and his order lapsed so we had to send it back.

My dad has zero sense of direction, meaning, if given a choice of left or right, he will go the correct way about half the time. My little sister has a negative sense of direction; if given a choice of left or right, she will go the wrong way every single time. She’s also 100% confident she is correct even though she is wrong 100% of the time.

My parents take my sisters and me to a pawn shop when I am about ten or so. My little sister is about nine. We park right in the front and my parents wrangle us kids inside. After a while, we come out. Two of us go to the car with my mom while my sister goes to the left.

My dad is curious to see how far she will go, so he follows. She walks to the end of the sidewalk with all of the shops, crosses the grass median, and patiently waits on traffic to clear so she can cross a four-lane highway. My dad catches up.

Dad: “[Sister], where are you going?”

Sister: *Gestures in front of herself* “To the car.”

Dad: “Think about it. Do you remember crossing a highway to get to the store?”

Sister: “No.”

She sees a break in traffic and steps forward. Dad yanks her back.

Dad: “Where are you going?!”

Sister: “To the car! It’s this way!”

Dad: “No, it’s not. Come on.”

As they walked back, [Sister] continued to insist that the car was in the other direction. She was extremely bewildered to find the car exactly where Dad led her. She still goes the wrong way with enough confidence to get others to follow her all the time. Thankfully, she uses GPS now when she figures out that she was wrong.