They Don’t Know. But I Know.

, , , , , | Romantic | February 20, 2021

I work in a small, locally-owned toy shop in a little college town; however, we have a lot of down-to-earth people and families.

A couple comes in with three kids and immediately the kids go crazy, wanting to show their parents every single toy in the store.

It’s a small store but it’s broken into three distinct sections, rooms connected by walkways. We have a card rack next to the cash wrap that has all sorts of cards.

As the wife is being dragged by her kids around the store, the husband comes up to me.

Husband: *Quietly* “Don’t let my wife see; we are big Star Wars fans.”

And he slides me a card with Chewbacca on it that says, “You’re my chew love,” and cash to pay for it. I quietly make small talk with him about the weather and ring him up. I finish just in time as his wife and kids walk around and then grab their dad to go beg and ask for toys.

I’m chatting with the mom and she sees a card on the card rack.

Wife: “This would be perfect for [Husband], but don’t let him see this.”

She slid me cash, finished the transaction, and winked. It was the exact same card.

They finished their shopping, purchased a few toys for their three kids, and walked out, both chuckling to themselves about how clever they were.

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I Once Had A Spongebob Alarm Clock; It’s Dead Now

, , , , | Related | February 20, 2021

My two-year-old son is very enamored of a popular British children’s show, but it’s not well-known in Asia. I end up ordering him several toys via the UK branch of an Internet retailer, including one noise-making playset that is far too loud for our small apartment. After about an hour and a half of him playing with it nonstop, my partner comes out of the office where he was working, which is separated from the living room by only one door.

Partner: “Is there anything you’d like to say to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry! I didn’t know it’d be that loud!”

Partner: “Did you get that online?”

Me: “Yeah, from Amazon UK.”

Partner: “Have you figured out why they don’t sell that toy in Japan yet?!”

I ended up putting some packing tape over the speaker which reduced the noise to a much more bearable level.

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Will Have To Tighten Your (Seat)Belts

, , , , , | Right | February 19, 2021

I’m the proper idiot here. For reference, I have a Ph.D. but all the common sense of a potato.

My car seatbelt started sticking, so it usually takes a few attempts to pull it down to click in. I book my car in to get it fixed, and in the meantime, I stick some duct tape on the belt to stop it from retracting all the way. When I drop my car in to get it fixed, I think that the tape looks tatty, so I pull out my trusty pen knife to cut it off.

Yeah, it turns out that car seatbelts slice really easily. And they cost £130 to replace.

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Someone’s Gonna Catch It

, , , , , , | Working | February 19, 2021

It’s a really busy Saturday, but we’re in a slow period at the moment. Five of my staff have headsets on, including me, a new cashier, and our security guard.

Cashier: “Hey, [My Name], I have a question for you.”

Me: “Go for it.”

Cashier: “Is your refrigerator running?”

Me: *Pauses* “If you have enough time up there to be making jokes, then you’re not busy enough, and I can fix that for you.”

There’s a moment of silence as this is pondered.

Security: “Nope, we’re good. He’s got lots of stuff to do up here.”

He doesn’t release the talk button in time and I hear his last sentence.

Security: “You’re an idiot. I told you that wouldn’t work on her.”

I couldn’t stop laughing and I got a bunch of weird looks from the customers.

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He Screen Shot And Missed

, , , , , , | Right | February 19, 2021

I work in customer service helping customers via phone and email. A customer emails in about an error message on our site, but I’m not able to recreate the error.

I ask him to send in a screenshot of what he entered and the error message he received, so that I can see if there’s something he’s doing that I’m not. I never receive a reply from him and just assume that he figured out the issue and managed to place his order.

Fast forward to about a week later when I receive an envelope on my desk. Upon opening it, I find a physical print out of the man’s screen, showing the error.

I’ve since specified that people should email me the screenshot, not just send it to me.

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