Clara was a cat that belonged to a coworker in the hotel where I used to work. 

I love animals, and I noticed that she went hunting for her food herself, so anytime Clara was around and I had food, we shared. Everyone else served her on the floor, but I fed her from my hands, provided that she sat first. 

I got ill and mandated someone else to feed her while I was gone. By the time I got back, Clara had lost her training. It was harder than the first time I got her to figure out she needed to sit to get the treat. 

I know dealing with animals requires patience, so I was patient. After a while, she tried to snatch the food aggressively from my hands, and in anger, I screamed and ate the piece of chicken. 

Clara had a look of disbelief. I mean, her face mirrored the human jaw-dropped shocked look.

I took the next piece and slowly brought it to my mouth. She meowed out a scream and sat down almost immediately. Man, I laughed so hard. I kept her seated for a minute before letting her have the chicken.

I miss her.

I’m at my ten-year high school reunion.

Acquaintance: “I haven’t seen you since school! So, what are you doing these days? Computer programmer? Computer engineer? Computer technical support?”

Me: “You just assume the geeky guy went into computers, huh? Well, I’ll have you know I’m a teacher.”

Acquaintance: “Oh? What subject?”

Me: “Computer skills.”

I’m working at the front desk of a hotel, and a guest I’ve never seen before comes in.

Me: “Good afternoon. How may I help?”

Guest: “I’m checking in. This is my first time staying here. Give me the best room.”

Me: “Ahh, yes, the Presidential Suite. That’s a great choice! We do have it available. Let’s see here…”

I look at his profile: he has no previous stays and doesn’t have an elite status. I also see what he has already booked.

Me: “I see you’ve reserved the cheapest room, so the price difference will only be $3,800 a night more.”

Guest: “What? Oh, no, I don’t want to pay more. What can you do for me instead?”

Me: “Well, currently, you’re in a room with a view facing the wall of the convention building. Let me see if I can upgrade you to a view of the back alley…”

A group of riders strolls into our establishment carrying helmets, and they seem to be all about themselves. They are loud and obnoxious but overall friendly, and they immediately start with a round of coffee. This Axl Rose-looking bandana dude looks at the half-and-half on the table.

Dude: “Do you guys have any hazelnut or caramel-flavored creamer?”

Me: “No, just plain half-and-half, but we do have almond milk or soy milk.”

His face scrunches up and he gives his friends a sarcastic look.

Dude: “Do I look like someone who drinks soy?”

Without missing a beat, I say:

Me: “Dude, you literally just asked me if we have frou-frou creamer.”

The table absolutely loses it and keels over in laughter. Axl Rose just smiles big.

Dude: “…you got me.”

They ended up being really fun and tipped fat.

I know everyone prefers trainwreck stories, but sometimes the good moments are just as entertaining.

I’m at my register during a slow period. A couple of other coworkers and our manager are up front talking, and one is sprucing up the candy area. While she is working, she also has a spoon in her hand. As our manager and one coworker walk away, this interaction happens.

Coworker #1: “Does anybody need a spoon?”

Coworker #2: “Like a cuddle?”

[Coworker #2] is not the type to make that kind of joke and also is old enough to be [Coworker #1]’s father.

I was still laughing a minute later because it was so unexpected and funny.