Rated S For “Shut Up And Take My Money”
Starting from the NES, I have been playing video games since I was three years old. I have played on every gaming console since then, and I even store some money away for future purchases. Lately, I’ve been wanting the PlayStation 5, but like many others, none of my local stores have had any in stock for more than maybe five minutes. I am getting to the point where I joke to my friends that the system doesn’t actually exist.
However, one day, I head out to the closest big box store to just get some food for later. I decide to kind of dress up, and I even have makeup on, thereby passing off as someone who reasonably has their life together. I’m just walking around a little, and I pass through the electronics department, where I spot the impossible. It’s a PlayStation 5 for sale. The price is… somewhat reasonable, and I have enough stored away. I go over to the nearest associate.
Me: “Excuse me! You have a PlayStation 5 for sale. I’d like it, please.”
Cashier #1: “You… want a PlayStation?”
Me: “Yes, please. Is it on hold for someone?”
Cashier #1: “No, but… it’s the [Rated-M Game] bundle. Are you sure?”
Me: “I literally do not care what game it comes bundled with. I want the console, and I want it a year ago. Please, thank you.”
They get the console for me and take it to the front to hold until I finish my shopping. I speed through, pay for the smaller items, and then hurry to customer service to pay for my new system.
Me: “They have a PlayStation back here for [My Name]? I’d like to pay for it now.”
Cashier #2: “Okay, yeah. That’s the [Rated-M Game] bundle, right? Are you sure about this? It’s rated M. That means it’s—”
Me: “Dude. Listen to me. I don’t care about the game. This is my money. My system. I want my PlayStation 5 now, please. Ring it up, and let me buy it.”
It wasn’t until I was home and talking about it with my friends that I finally realized that I probably looked like some mom buying a late present for her kid and was about to give a child a Rated-M game. That’s when I found it hilarious.