Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

It Burns When I Download

, , | Right | February 19, 2009

Caller: “I’m having trouble downloading pictures in your program. My camera doesn’t appear in the list.”

(I ask him some questions and determine that his camera is not compatible with our software.)

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks as though you’ll have to download your pictures using the software that came with your camera. What program do you normally use?”

Caller: “Chlamydia.”

Me: “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Caller: “I usually download my pictures in Chlamydia.”

Me: *stifling laugh* “Go into your start menu and read me the name of the program very carefully.”

Caller: “Okay, it says cam-ee-dee-uh.”

Me: “Oh, Camedia…”

(I keep it together and manage to wrap up the call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Technical Support]. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Caller: “Nope, I’ll just download my pictures in Chlamydia then. Thanks!” *click*

I Say Tomato, You Say Purple Shtinkelfurter

, , , | Right | February 10, 2009

Customer: “Hey, do you have any of them Red Rushkies?”

Coworker: “Sorry?”

Customer: “You know, Red Rushkies?”

Coworker: “Err… no, I’m sorry. I don’t think we stock those.”

Customer: “Yeah, you do, I buy them here all the time! Where are they?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, we don’t have anything called ‘Red Rushkies’ here.”

Customer: *sighs* “I’ll find them myself.”

(There’s a pause of a few minutes, and then the customer comes back with a bag of raw peanuts.)

Customer: “There you go!”

Coworker: “Oh! Peanuts?”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said!”

Not-So-Friendly Skies

, , , , | Right | January 21, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me, when does the non-smoking sign go off?”

Me: “It doesn’t. You’re not allowed to smoke on this flight.”

Customer: “But it’s lit up! The seatbelt light turns off, and I think I need a smoke.”

Me: “You’re not allowed to smoke on an airplane.”

Customer: “I can’t just go outside and smoke, can I? *points to an emergency exit*

Me: “Er… good luck with that.”


This story is part of our Terrible Airline Passengers roundup!

Read the next Terrible Airline Passengers roundup story!

Read the Terrible Airline Passengers roundup!

A Bozo By Any Other Name

, , , , | Right | November 19, 2008

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

(The client looks at name on desk; my name’s Hattie.)

Client: “Your name is so stupid.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I can’t help that. It’s not so bad. ”

Client: “Your parents must really hate you.”

Me: “No, I’m sure they don’t. How can I help?”

Client: “I want to check my registration. Name’s Horace Gumptin.”

Me: *stifles giggle*

Client: “Are you laughing at me? Your name rhymes with fattie!”

Introducing The DK Spring Collection

, , , , | Right | September 10, 2008

Customer: “I’d like two tickets for the Green Knight, please.”

Me: “You mean the Dark Knight, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, I mean the Green Knight! The Batman movie!”

Me: “Ma’am, the only Batman movie currently showing is the Dark Knight.”

Customer: “I’ve never heard of that! I don’t want to see it! Give me two for the Green Knight!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no such movie.”

Customer: “Fine. We’ll go see this Dark Knight thing, then. But I just want you to know I am not pleased!”