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May We Suggest Hoobastink and Led Hindenburg

, , , , , , | Right | April 21, 2009

(I overhear this odd exchange while shopping at a local used music store. It takes place between the clerk and a woman with a heavy accent.)

Customer: “I am looking for a CD of band called Wet Noodle.”

Clerk:Wet Noodle? I don’t think we have anything like…”

Customer: “You have it! My grandson says he wants the CD of band Wet Noodle!”

(The clerk searches for the band on his computer, to no avail.)

Clerk: “I’m sorry, we don’t have any record of any products by a band called Wet Noodle.”

(I put one and one together and interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you mean Limp Bizkit?”

Customer: “Yes! Some band like Wet Noodle or Limp Bizkit or some food!”

(The clerk gets the CDs for the lady, finishes her transaction, and then turns to me.)

Clerk: *to me* “I’m giving you every discount I know of.”

Right Next To The Yeast Pie

, , , | Right | April 1, 2009

Customer: “Where are the bread donuts?”

Boss: “Um, sorry, sir? All our donuts are a yeast base.”

Customer: “No, no, bread donuts! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN BAKING! BREAD DONUTS!”

Boss: “I’m not sure what you mean. I’m sorry, sir.”

(The customer storms off grumbling to himself and makes it about 10 feet.)

Customer: “Oh! Here they are.”

Boss: “Sir, those are bagels.”

I LAve L.A.

, , , , , | Right | March 31, 2009

Customer: *holds up sweatshirt* “Oh, my god, they spelled this wrong!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Los Angeles!”

Me: “Um, that’s how you spell it.”

Customer: “Nooooo. It says LOS Angeles, but it’s supposed to be LAS Angeles. It’s pronounced LAS Angeles. Am I right?”

Customer’s Friends: “Yeah, totally!”

Customer: “And, actually, shouldn’t it be LAS AngeLAS? Because that’s how you say it, LAS AngeLAS!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I can’t believe no one has ever noticed this before!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s shocking…”

COD 4: Trout At War

, , , | Right | March 18, 2009

(I witnessed from one of the checkout lines.)

Customer: “Do you have COD 4?”

Employee:Call of Duty 4? Yes, we–”

Customer: “No, no, no, not Call Of Duty 4. COD 4!”

Employee: “Sir, COD 4 stands for Call Of Duty 4…”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t! The customer is always right! Now bring me a copy of COD 4 right now!”


This story is part of the Bad-Gamer-Customer-themed roundup!

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May We Suggest The Covert Cauliflowers

, , , , | Right | February 25, 2009

(I’m restocking a salad bar at a restaurant when a customer walks up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me? You’re running out of espionage in the salad bar.”

Me: “….excuse me? Espionage?”

Customer: “Yes, espionage.”

(He meant spinach, since I hadn’t gotten around to restocking that.)