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Ix Nay On The Eesh Squeesh

, , , , | Right | October 7, 2009

Me: “Do you want anything else with your sandwich?”

Customer: “Peppers, olives, and eesh squeesh.”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Customer: “Peppers, olives, eesh squeesh.”

Me: “Eesh squeesh? ”

Customer: “Yeah, eesh squeesh. Right there.” *points at the onions*

Me: “You mean onions?”

Customer: “Yeah, eesh squeesh.”


This story is part of our Wrong Names roundup!

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Name Brain Drain

, , , , , | Right | September 15, 2009

(A customer reads my name tag.)

Customer: “That’s a strange name isn’t it?”

Me: “Heh.”

Customer: “How do you pronounce that? Tain-ee… Trenay? Seriously, what is that? Welsh? Irish?”

Me: “Uhm…”

Customer: “It sounds really exotic, really foreign.”

Me: “No, no, I am a trainee. Trainee isn’t my name.”

Customer: “Ohh, right. Well, thanks for the help, Train-ee!”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

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Maybe He’s Italian?

, , , , | Right | September 15, 2009

Customer: “I’ll take a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Sure. Anything else today?”

Customer: “Just a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Okay, I got that. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Small cappuccino.”

Me: “No, sir, I need your name for the order so we can call it out when your order’s ready.”

Customer: *tries to save face* “Err… Small Cappuccino. My name is Small Cappuccino!”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

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Introducing Byte-agra

, , , , | Right | August 31, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help?”

Customer: “I’m looking for… er… a stiffy disk.”

Me: “I’m sorry… what was it you were after?”

Customer: “I think it’s called stiffy disk.”

Me: “Stiffy… wait, do you mean floppy discs?”

Customer: “Ah, yes! FLOPPY disks!”


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Changing The World, Two Letters At A Time

, , , | Right | August 11, 2009

(I’m a customer at a restaurant and overhear this conversation between another customer and the waitress.)

Customer: *to waitress* “Can you tell me how long it is from here to Bah-nah-f-f?

Waitress: “I think you mean Banff, sir.”

Customer: “No, Bah-nah-f-f.”

Waitress: “There is no city or town by that name in Alberta.”

(The customer pulls out a map and points to Banff.)

Customer: “Yeah there is, right here. BAH-NAH-F-F!”

Waitress: “That’s pronounced Banff, sir.”

Customer: “Nope, it’s pronounced BAH-NA-F-F!”

Waitress: “Sir, I’ve lived in Alberta my entire life, and can assure you it’s pronounced Banff.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid! When I get there, I’m changing the pronunciation.”

Waitress: “You’re gonna go to Banff and just change the pronunciation of the name?”

Customer: “Yes!”


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