Bison Wings Has An Interesting Ring To It

, , , | Right | August 1, 2008

Client: “I need a flight.”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Where to?”

Client: “Bison.”

Me: “Um… okay, ma’am. And that is?”

Client: “In the US.”

Me: “Sure… and what state?”

Client: “I am not sure, but I need one leaving Friday.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t find any flights to Bison.”

Client: “It’s a BIG place. ”

Me: “Do you mean Buffalo, New York?”

Client: “We don’t call them BUFFALO anymore.”

Me: “Ma’am, they didn’t change the name of the city.”

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Garraporta, Bumblebore And Lord Boweldesnort

, , , | Right | July 21, 2008

(I’m walking around stocking videos when a man comes up to with an extremely strange accent.)

Customer: “I’m looking for the Garraporta.”

Me: “I’m not sure what movie that is. What’s it about?”

Customer: “It’s the Garraporta. There are many movies!”

Me: “Uh, did you ask at the front desk?”

Customer:Garraporta! Garraporta! There are many movies!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ve never heard of that movie.”

(I try every way to tell him I don’t know that movie, but he follows me all around the store saying “Garraporta!” Suddenly, he stops and picks up a movie.)

Customer: “Here, Garraporta!”

Me: “Oh, Harry Potter!

Customer: “Yes, Garraporta! There are many movies!”

 

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Because PvP In Produce Is Teh Suxxorz

, , | Right | June 8, 2008

(I worked in the meat department of a large, popular store a few years ago. Alongside this, I was both in college, and played World of Warcraft, so I was pretty zonked whenever I worked.)

Customer: “HEY!”

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: *scowls* “Where’s LARD?!”

(The name for my character in WoW was Lard. The night before, I ended up having to kick a guildy due to him basically being a moron. After he was kicked, he messaged to me that he was ‘going to get me one day’)

Customer: “…Lard?”

Me: “Um… um!”

Customer: *glares, then looks down* “Oh, here it is.”

(He bent down and picked up a jar of lard from the counter in front of me and walked away, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I later found out that the same person deleted his character, rerolled the opposite faction, and leveled him to 70 in order to “Kill Lard and camp his corpse.” I consider that the moment that I won at WoW.)


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One Gets You High Speed, The Other Just Gets You High

, , , | Right | June 6, 2008

Coworker: “Tech support, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need LSD for my son. You have that, right?”

Coworker: “Uh?”

Customer: “You know, that high-speed Internet thing…”

Coworker: *trying not to laugh* “You mean DSL?”

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Is That An Ethernet Cable In Your Pocket…

, , | Right | May 10, 2008

(Talking to a female customer…)

Me: “Do you see the ‘Local Area Connection’ icon?”

Customer: “Yes, I see your ‘Local Erection’.”

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