Maybe He’s Italian?

, , | Right | September 15, 2009

Customer: “I’ll take a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Sure. Anything else today?”

Customer: “Just a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Okay, I got that. May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Small cappuccino.”

Me: “No, sir, I need your name for the order so we can call it out when your order’s ready.”

Customer: *tries to save face* “Err… Small Cappuccino. My name is Small Cappuccino!”


This story is part of our Tongue-Tied Customers roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
3,688

Introducing Byte-agra

, , , | Right | August 31, 2009

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help?”

Customer: “I’m looking for… er… a stiffy disk.”

Me: “I’m sorry… what was it you were after?”

Customer: “I think it’s called stiffy disk.”

Me: “Stiffy… wait, do you mean floppy discs?”

Customer: “Ah, yes! FLOPPY disks!”

1 Thumbs
2,447

Changing The World, Two Letters At A Time

, , , | Right | August 11, 2009

(I’m a customer at a restaurant and overhear this conversation between another customer and the waitress.)

Customer: *to waitress* “Can you tell me how long it is from here to Bah-nah-f-f?

Waitress: “I think you mean Banff, sir.”

Customer: “No, Bah-nah-f-f.”

Waitress: “There is no city or town by that name in Alberta.”

(The customer pulls out a map and points to Banff.)

Customer: “Yeah there is, right here. BAH-NAH-F-F!”

Waitress: “That’s pronounced Banff, sir.”

Customer: “Nope, it’s pronounced BAH-NA-F-F!”

Waitress: “Sir, I’ve lived in Alberta my entire life, and can assure you it’s pronounced Banff.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid! When I get there, I’m changing the pronunciation.”

Waitress: “You’re gonna go to Banff and just change the pronunciation of the name?”

Customer: “Yes!”

1 Thumbs
3,026

Fowl-Mouthed Accusations

, , , , | Right | August 10, 2009

(I’m telling a group of visitors about the peacocks at our zoo. After I’ve finished, one of the visitors stops me.)

Visitor: “Young man, can I have a word with you?

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. How can I help you?

Visitor: “I don’t appreciate you using that kind of language in front of my children.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I wasn’t aware I had.”

Visitor: “We prefer to call those birds over there pearoosters.”

Me: “Um, why?”

Visitor: “Because peacock is a bad word! I really don’t think you should be using that sort of language and those dirty words in front of small children!”

1 Thumbs
6,262

I’ll Go Where He’s Going

, , | Right | July 10, 2009

(This is back when people booked holidays with travel agents. I run a hotline for the sole purpose of ordering holiday brochures.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Travel Agency]. Which brochure would you like to order?”

Customer: “I’d like to order ten virgins, please.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “Ten virgins, please–”

(There’s a moment of silence; the customer and I both realize at the same time that he meant to say ‘ten Virgin Holiday Brochures.’ To keep the conversation from going awkward, I chime in.)

Me: “How fresh would you like your virgins, sir?”

Customer: “This year’s editions will be fine, thanks!”

1 Thumbs
4,549