Beware The People Of Tottenham
Me: “Hello.”
Customer: “N17.”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “I’d like to buy [circular saw] and [nail gun].”
Me: “Okay, let me get you logged in. What’s your surname?”
Customer: “N17.”
Me: “No, your surname.”
Customer: “I’ll give you my postcode.”
Me: “I need both. Give me your surname first.”
Customer: “N17.”
Me: “Right, N17. And your surname?”
Customer: “N17.”
Me: “No, I’ve got that. I need your surname.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Your surname. Your second name. Family name?”
Customer: “Oh, right.”
Pause.
Me: “Surname?”
Customer: “Steven.”
Me: “Right… Oh, that’s not showing anything. Do you have an account here?”
Customer: “Yeah.”
Me: “Okay, let me try something else. Do you work for a company maybe?”
Customer: “No, I don’t work.”
Me: “Okay… Let’s try your street address.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “What street do you live on?”
Customer: “I don’t know.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Customer: “Just do the postcode.”
Me: “That’s not enough to go on. What street do you live on?”
Customer: “I can’t remember.”
Me: “Right, let’s try your first name.”
Customer: “My name?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Customer: “Steven.”
Me: “Your name is Steven Steven?”
Customer: “What? No.”
Me: “So what’s your name?”
Customer: “Steven.”
Me: “Steven what?”
Customer: “Steven… N17.”
Me: “Sorry, did you say you wanted to buy power tools?”
