I call to make an eye appointment for my husband and myself at a new practice.

Receptionist #1: “Okay, and his name?”

Me: “Jonathan. J-O-N—”

Receptionist #1: “Okay. And his last name?”

Me: “[Last Name].”

Our last name is not common and definitely not American. I often have to spell it for people, so I automatically give the first three letters before she cuts me off to ask for the rest of his information.

Receptionist #1: “Okay, you’re set for Friday at 3:00 and 3:30. See you soon!”

Friday arrives and we approach check-in. The receptionist cannot find our information.

Receptionist #1: “Are you sure it was here?”

Me: “Yes. The phone number here is [number I called], right?”

Receptionist #1: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, it’s in my call log that I called here on—”

Receptionist #1: “I’m sorry, you’re not in our system.”

Husband: “How can that be? We have the confirmation email. ‘Dear Mr. [Last Name]…’”

Receptionist #2: “What’s wrong?”

Receptionist #1: “They said they made an appointment, but it isn’t here.”

Receptionist #2: “Can I see your ID and insurance?”

My husband hands over his cards.

Receptionist #2: “Oh, here. See, whoever set this up in the system spelled it wrong. In here it’s ‘JAHNOTHON’ [Last Name].”

Receptionist #1: “Oh. Yeah, when you sign up, your information has to match your ID.”

Husband: “We did this over the… Oh.”

Receptionist #2: “When was this?”

Me: *Holding out my phone* “I didn’t get their name.”

Receptionist #1: *Blushing* “Oh. Well—”

Receptionist #2: “You’re good to go. Thank you.”

Receptionist #1: *Quietly* “He could have spelled it instead of assuming I would spell it that way.”

One day, I get the following email from a local government agency that helps people back to work.

Agency: “Hi, [My Name]. Could you give me the contact name you have for [Employment Skills Training Organisation], please? I just want to ensure they get you to us. Thanks, [Official].”

I have never contacted them, but they sound like they already know me. As it happens, I am actually job hunting now, but I’m an engineer looking for a senior technical or management position — not something I would contact either this agency or the training organisation about.

They have the right email address, which is “[My First Name] dot [My Last Name] at [email company] dot com”. I don’t have a particularly common name, there are a couple of ways of spelling my first name, and people routinely spell my last name wrong with extra Ls, an N instead of an M, etc., but this one is completely correct.

I look them up, and their office is only about a mile down the road from where I live, so I ring the sender to see how they got my email address. Maybe someone forwarded my details to them by accident?

Me: “Hello, I’ve just had an email from you about an appointment. I’m sorry, but I don’t recall contacting you before today. How did you get my email address?”

Official: “That’s strange. Are you [My Name]? Do you live in [Local Area]?”

Me: “That is my name, but I actually live just down the road in [Adjacent Area]. Funnily enough, I am looking for a new job, but I’m actually a senior engineer at [Famous Technical Company], so don’t know why you would have my details.”

Official: “Is your email ‘[My First Name] dot [My Last Name] at [email company] dot co dot uk’?”

Me: “No, it’s ‘[My First Name] dot [My Last Name] at [email company] dot com’.”

Official: “Oh, I see! Sorry, I must have mistyped the email address.”

Me: “Hang on! Are you telling me there is another [My First And Last Name] just a mile down the road from me? He’s got almost the same email address? And he’s also job-hunting?”

Official: “It certainly looks like it.”

Me: “Wow! Well, please let him know that his namesake wishes him all the best of luck!”

I used to shop in the area where this office was located all the time, so I could have passed by my younger “self” at any time and never known it!

A friend skipped college to have a music career. By the time we were twenty-two, she had started to become quite a well-known pop and Bossanova singer, especially after she was asked to sing the theme song of a popular local drama. 

She had a lot of fans, but my music interests were in a different genre. I had known her since we were fifteen, so to me, she was just my friend, not a famous singer. Add to that the fact that I never knew she went by her middle name on stage, so I had always called her by her first name. Her first name was not a secret, but most people knew her stage name, so that was the one they all used.

One day, we were at a gathering for school alumni. This was one of those obligatory lunches that none of us could get out of. One of the attendees was a huge fan of [Singer] and was always trying to talk to her, following her around asking for her autograph, and generally being annoying. I happened to be sitting at the same table as [Singer], and [Fan] came along to sit with her idol.

Me: “I’m going to get another drink. Anyone else want one? [Singer’s First Name]?”

Fan: “Why do you always call her [First Name] instead of [Stage Name]?”

Me: “Well, I’ve always known her by [First Name], so I usually forget to use [Stage Name].”

Fan: “[My Name], you’re really too much. How can you forget someone’s name?”

This kind of broke my brain for a bit.

Me: “I didn’t say I forgot her name. I said I don’t remember to use it—”

[Fan] cut me off. 

Fan: “You’re really too much! How could you forget her name?!”

I like to think that at least I wasn’t being an annoying stalker of a fan. I’m pretty sure [Singer] sits with me because I treat her like a normal person.

My favorite theatre company was doing a show that I really wanted to see, and tickets were selling fast. My partner and I were able to snag two of the last tickets in what ended up being a sold-out house. The seats were not together, but that was all that was left, so we figured we’d just hang out at intermission. It wasn’t ideal, but we were okay with it.

When the day of the show rolled around, we waited in the will-call line to pick up our tickets. The people ahead of us were complaining about something and it was taking a long time to sort out. I wasn’t paying too much attention, but the box office staff seemed confused, the patrons were frustrated, a manager was called, strings were pulled, something finally got resolved, and then it was our turn.

Partner: “I’m picking up two tickets for [Partner]. I know they’re not adjacent seats, but that’s okay.”

The box office person had a look of dawning realization.

It turned out the patron who was complaining for so long ahead of us had the exact same first and last name as my partner, was given our tickets, and was upset that the seats weren’t together. No one had caught that there were two parties of two under the same relatively common name. The box office had already shifted something around for the other guy, and he was long gone, so we got to take his seats, which were together and significantly closer to the stage.

Sorry, other [Partner’s Name], and thank you! The show was amazing!

The organization I work for has files on mostly everyone in the province, myself included. Accessing one’s own file is absolutely forbidden and will invariably result in being very promptly terminated.

I had someone transfer a call to me (which automatically made me access the relevant personal file) from a man who shared my first and last name and my year of birth.

I nearly had a heart attack before it occurred to me that it wasn’t possible for a colleague to have pulled up my file and selected me specifically to receive the transfer — and that the full date of birth was different.