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Keeping Easter Sweet, Part 2

, , , , | Related | July 27, 2016

(I organize a big Easter hunt for all my nieces and nephews each year at my parents acreage. I hide a ton of treats and toys for each kid, and they have to follow clues to find them all since they are hidden everywhere across 12 acres. Afterwards, the kids sometimes need to be reminded to thank me. I am sitting in the living room, right next to the kitchen where I hear this conversation:)

Sister: “Did you thank Auntie [My Name] for the Easter hunt and all your treats?”

Three-Year-Old Nephew: “No.”

Sister: “Go tell Auntie thank you for helping the Easter bunny hide everything, please.”

Three-Year-Old Nephew: *runs past me on the couch to the back door (in the living room), opens the door wide and yells* “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” *closes it and runs off to play*

Sister: “You know, some days I wonder about that child…”


In Soviet Russia, Watermelon Likes You!

, , , , , | Related | June 23, 2016

(It’s Memorial Day weekend and the whole family is spending the weekend together, including my cousin and her four-year-old daughter. We are in the kitchen preparing snacks before we go outside to enjoy the beautiful day.)

Cousin: “Who wants watermelon?”

Kids: “Me!”

Cousin: “Who doesn’t like watermelon?”

Four-Year-Old Daughter: “Communists!”

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That Isn’t Chocolate…

, , , , | Related | May 4, 2016

(I am babysitting my nephew when this conversation happens:)

Me: “Are you excited for Easter?”

Nephew: “Yeah!”

Me: “What’s your favorite part about it?”

Nephew: “Getting candy from the Easter Bunny. Hey, where do Easter eggs come from?”

Me: “Um… the bunny harvests them.”

Nephew: “Good. I was afraid I was eating candy that came out of his a**!”

Daddy Doesn’t Have The Cuddle Bug

, , , , | Related | October 5, 2015

(My husband and I are trying to re-teach our toddler to sleep in her own bed, as we’ve moved recently. One morning, she comes into our room. Seeing as it’s almost time to get up, we decide to let her cuddle with us. She happily cuddles with me until I tell her I need to nurse her baby sister.)

Daughter: “But I wanna cuddle you!”

Me: *trying to reassure her* “Just cuddle with Daddy for a few minutes. He loves you.”

Daughter: *in tears* “I don’t love him!”

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No Stopping Him Now

, , , , , | Friendly | June 11, 2015

(A young boy is misbehaving on the subway train. To try to calm him, his mother is reading him the list of stops.)

Mother: “So we have Haymarket, then we have State, then Downtown Crossing, then Chinatown—”

(At the mention of this last stop, the boy’s eyes go wide.)

Boy: *excitedly* “You mean this train goes all the way to CHINA?”

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