(This is just after I have gotten my first retail job at a toy store. I love my job so far, but I am very shy. I was hired as a cashier. This happens on a day when I am the only cashier and there is a line. A little boy and his middle-aged father are in line and the boy keeps staring at me. Finally, they get up to the register.)
Me: “Hello there! Find everything okay?”
Dad: “We did, didn’t we, [Son]?”
(The kid is still staring at me and says nothing. Smiling awkwardly, I finish the transaction and hand the father his bag.)
Me: “Have a great day!”
Son: *suddenly turns to his dad and really loudly says* “Daddy, she’s really pretty! Are you gonna marry her?!”
(Everyone in the line burst out laughing, but I’m not sure whose face was redder — mine or the dad’s. I stuttered a bit, trying to think of an appropriate reply, before the dad smiled apologetically and practically dragged the kid out of the store. The kid was screaming, “Why can’t you marry her?! I like her!” all the way to the door. I was a bit less shy after that, because really, what couldn’t I face after that?)
Preschooler: “Ms. [My Name]! I made a painting of you!”
Me: “Oh, how sweet! What am I doing?”
Preschooler: “Swimming in the ocean.”
Me: “Oh, that sounds nice. I love swimming in the ocean.”
Preschooler: “Yeah, but there are sharks there, too.”
(Well, all right, then. The life of a preschool teacher is never boring!)
(I work at a daycare, and kids say some pretty funny things.)
Four-Year-Old: *holding up his shirt and looking at his chest* “ Miss [My Name]!”
Me: “Yes?”
Four-Year-Old: “I have itty little bitty boobies!”
Me: “Umm…”
Four-Year-Old: “Miss [My Name]?”
Me: “Yeah?”
Four-Year-Old: “You have great big boobies!”
(I wear an A-cup.)
This happened to my friend. She is white, but she was born and raised in Haiti. As a result, she grew up mostly seeing black people and her parents were the only white people she knew. When she was about three, her parents took her on a trip to the States to visit family.
Seeing a lot of white people freaked out the three-year-old girl, and she clung to her mother. One day, while they were at the grocery store, my friend saw a black cashier. She ran to the cashier and hugged her. The cashier was confused, especially after my friend started to speak Haitian Creole to her. Her mom had to explain that she grew up in Haiti and wasn’t used to people in the States yet.
When they got back to the house, my friend’s mom explained that there are a lot of white people in the States but she doesn’t have to be scared of them, and not all black people speak Haitian Creole.
(I am shopping at a department store with my sister and her daughter. My sister bumps into an old friend from school and I stand awkwardly to the side of them while they catch up. The topic turns to my niece and my sister mentions getting her vaccinations last week, so we’re treating her for being brave about it. This causes my sister’s friend to start a long rant about how dangerous vaccinations are, how she would never inject “poison” into her children, and that autism is, and I quote, “worse than Hitler.” My sister, who is a pediatric doctor, just smiles and lets the friend rant herself raw. A couple of seconds after she finishes, my niece pipes up for the first time.)
Niece: “Mummy, is this what stupid looks like?”
(My sister and I burst out laughing while the friend blushed and stormed off, screaming that she hoped my niece “dies of autism.”)
