(I often overhear a lot of funny things from kids while I’m at work, but this one takes the cake.)
Child #1: “I have more money than anyone else in the world!”
Child #2: “Yeah, he has twenty-three dollars!”
(I stifled my laughter and sadness as I realized that I had less money than that child. Kids are sometimes pretty great.)
(This is a story my sister told me about when her oldest daughter was still a toddler and her mother would always say, “We’re going bye-bye!” whenever she went shopping. Any other time — like going to work — she had an agreement with our mother for her to watch my niece since they lived with her. One winter, a major snowstorm passes through the area, making the roads dangerous. Her husband — a policeman — advises her to stay home from work, and she does. The following is the conversation she has with her daughter that day.)
Daughter: *upon seeing her mother, not Grandma, enter the room* “Mommy go work?”
Sister: “No, Mommy’s not going to work today.”
Daughter: *looks from her mother, to the window, and then back again with a huge grin* “Mommy go BYE-BYE?”
(I’m working the returns desk and I have an older lady and her young granddaughter in my line.)
Me: “Could I see your card for your return?”
Lady: *digging around purse* “Where did I put my card?”
Girl: “I don’t know, Grandma.”
Lady: “Did you take it out?”
Girl: “I’m a zombie killer, not a stealer!”
(I’m taking the bus to my workplace. Behind me are a grandmother and her grandchild doing a crossword puzzle clearly intended for children. The kid is not nearly as interested as the grandmother seems to be.)
Grandmother: “All right, let’s see here. Three letters, ‘part of your foot.’ What do you think that could be?”
Kid: “I don’t know.”
Grandmother: “Come on. It’s fun! The clue is part… of… your… foot.”
Kid: “I… don’t… know.”
Grandmother: “Just take a guess! Here, look: what’s on Grandma’s foot right here?” *clearly indicating her toes*
Kid: *pause* “Fungus?”
(She quickly put down the crossword puzzle after that and said nothing else during the rest of the trip.)
This story is part of our Crossword Puzzles roundup!
Read the next Crossword Puzzles roundup story!
Read the Crossword Puzzles roundup!
(I am using the restroom at a department store. The only other people around are a man and his three-year-old son who are wrapping up their business.)
Man: “Now we have to wash our hands.”
Boy: “I didn’t pee on mine.”
