This Child Is Going Places

, , | Friendly | October 19, 2018

(For Mothers’ Day, the children are doing a craft for a woman in their lives: homemade body scrub. It is just sugar, cooking oil, and a little food colouring, in a glass jar with a bit of waxed paper and a ribbon. Of course, the intent is that the children will take them home and present them to a mum, nana, auntie, etc. At the end of church, I have virtually the same conversation with three or four of my son’s friends, ages four to six.)

Child: “Look what I made!”

Me: “Oh, wow! That’s so cool! What are you going to do with it?”

Child: “EAT IT!”

What’s Cooler Is A Castle Filled With Transformers

, , , , , | Learning | October 16, 2018

(I am a teacher, taking kindergarteners on a trip to the pumpkin patch. On the way there, we pass a castle that is well known in the area. The bus full of kindergarteners is very excited to see it. A student turns to me:)

Kindergartener: “Why is there a castle here?!”

Me: “Well, someone just decided they wanted to build a castle.”

(The student turns to look out the window and see the castle again, then turns back to me. I’m expecting another question about the castle.)

Kindergartener: “I wish I was a transformer!”

(Well, that’s pretty cool, too.)

This Girl Has A Mouth On Her

, , , | Learning | October 15, 2018

(I work in a kindergarten. I try to switch on the light; it flickers and dies.)

Me: *to my class of four-year-olds* “Oops! Oh, no, kids! The light is sick!”

Girl: “Silly teacher, the light can not be sick.”

Me: *laughs* “Yes, you are correct.”

Girl: “Of course, because it doesn’t have a mouth.”

The Theory Of Everything Silly

, , , , , , , | Related | October 15, 2018

(My kids and I are leaving the book fair at their school. My youngest is named Stephen. My oldest, age ten, has a book about scientists.)

Oldest: “This book doesn’t have Stephen Hawking in it!”

Stephen: “CAW! CAW! CAW!”

Me: “Stephen! What are you doing?”

Stephen: “I’m ‘hawking’! I’m Stephen Hawking!”

At Least It’s Not A Velociraptor

, , , , , | Related | October 10, 2018

(I overhear this conversation:)

Child: “My mommy is pregnant.”

Coworker: “Congratulations. Do you know what she is having?”

Child: “She is having a boy…”

(Pause:)

Child: “…or a girl.”

Coworker: *laughing* “Well, I’m glad she’s not having a puppy.”

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