Daddy’s Girl

, , , , , | Right | June 15, 2019

(I am restocking the department after a busy weekend when a very cute little girl taps me on the leg.)

Little Girl: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Oh, hello.”

Little Girl: “I’ve lost my Daddy.”

Me: “Okay, wait here. What’s your Daddy’s name?”

(She tells me her father’s name and I’m about to contact my colleagues to see if they can locate the father. However, before they do, a woman who is close by the whole time and looks to be the little girl’s mother comes up to us.)

Mum: “What are you doing bothering this man, sweetie? You’re not lost; I was right next to you!”

Little Girl: “Yeah, but I wanted Daddy!”

(I laughed while the mother sighed in exasperation.)

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Want Presents, More Or Less

, , , | Friendly | June 11, 2019

(Whilst meeting up with some university friends, I take the opportunity to give their three-year-old daughter her birthday present from a few weeks ago.)

Friend: “Now, what do we say when we get presents from people?”

Friend’s Daughter: *without missing a beat* “More presents…”

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Bad Customers Need A Miniature Mirror To Their Behavior

, , , , , , | Right | June 6, 2019

(A mother and her child come to the registers. She’s yakking on the phone the entire time, absently piling stuff on the counter for me to ring. At some point, her kid tries to get her attention over something he’s spotted. She ignores him. He scowls, huffs loudly, and crosses his arms. She doesn’t respond. He huffs even louder and recrosses his arms, starting to tap his foot.)

Son: *takes a big breath and bellows* “WHAT THE F*** DOES IT TAKE TO GET SOME SERVICE AROUND HERE?!”

Mom: *flushes a brilliant red, hangs up* “I have no idea where he learned that.”

Me: *perfectly straight-faced* “Uh-huh.”

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Both Valid Options

, , , , | Related | June 4, 2019

(My daughter is seven years old.)

Me: “What do you want to be when you’re older?”

Daughter: “A pink cat!”

Me: “Anything else?”

Daughter: “A mermaid!”

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That Was Pretty Cute

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2019

(This is just after I have gotten my first retail job at a toy store. I love my job so far, but I am very shy. I was hired as a cashier. This happens on a day when I am the only cashier and there is a line. A little boy and his middle-aged father are in line and the boy keeps staring at me. Finally, they get up to the register.)

Me: “Hello there! Find everything okay?”

Dad: “We did, didn’t we, [Son]?”

(The kid is still staring at me and says nothing. Smiling awkwardly, I finish the transaction and hand the father his bag.)

Me: “Have a great day!”

Son: *suddenly turns to his dad and really loudly says* “Daddy, she’s really pretty! Are you gonna marry her?!”

(Everyone in the line burst out laughing, but I’m not sure whose face was redder — mine or the dad’s. I stuttered a bit, trying to think of an appropriate reply, before the dad smiled apologetically and practically dragged the kid out of the store. The kid was screaming, “Why can’t you marry her?! I like her!” all the way to the door. I was a bit less shy after that, because really, what couldn’t I face after that?)

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