An Inner-Saurus Rex

, , , , , | Related | April 27, 2018

(I stop at the grocery store on my way back from class. I am browsing the shelves near a mother and her son, who is about six. The son is talking to his mom about his day at school, and she is asking him questions about it.)

Son: *frustrated* “All [Friend #1] and [Friend #2] want to do is play dinosaurs!”

Mom: “Oh? But you like dinosaurs.”

Son: *worriedly, near tears* “But Mom, I just don’t know what kind of dinosaur I am!”

(They moved to the next aisle, so I didn’t get a chance to hear where this conversation ended. I hope he was able to find his true inner dinosaur.)

And I Like Turtles!

, , , , | Related | April 22, 2018

(My younger cousins come over to my house. For some reason, my brother and I are arguing whether girls and boys on the whole tend to have biological personality differences, or whether it’s society and upbringing. I am about 11 or so, my brother is around nine, and my cousins are around five and three, as far as I can recall. My cousins are asked their opinion.)

My Five-Year-Old Cousin: *paraphrased* “I think some boys are like boys and some are like girls, and vice versa.”

My Three-Year-Old Cousin: “I think boys and girls are different from crocodiles.”

Once You Catch That Toy, There’s No Un-catching It

, , , , | Right | April 21, 2018

(I work in a very popular book store as a cashier. There is a wall between me and the kids section, but I can see a toy being thrown up and down.)

Child: *as loud as they can yell* “HERPES! HERPES!”

Child’s Mother: “NO, BABY, IT’S, ‘WHOOPEE!’”

Out Of Touch With The Kids

, , , , | Right | April 19, 2018

(I’m working near the checkout line at my store, recovering items from the floor. A large biker man gets in line, talking to his two young girls and younger boy as he goes.)

Customer: “Girls, we’re getting in line. Stop touching things.”

Daughters: “Okay.”

(About thirty seconds later, both girls curiously pick up some of the items set around the queue line.)

Customer: “Hey, I said not to touch anything else.”

Daughter #2: “But why?”

Customer: “We’re going to buy our stuff. You have to put those back where you got them.”

Daughter #1: “I want to look at it.”

Customer: “You don’t see [Son] touching things.”

Daughter #2: “That’s because he’s sitting in a cart.”

Customer: *pause* “True.”

That Is The Other Question

, , , , , | Related | April 18, 2018

(My six-year-old son is flipping through the channels when something catches his attention. It appears to be a French production of the play Hamlet, which my son is familiar with.)

Son: “This is weird.”

Me: “Remember when we watched that play last month?”

Son: “Yeah!”

Me: “I thought you liked it.”

Son: “I do, but this is weird. They don’t speak French in Denmark.”

Me: “It’s in French, because this is a French channel. Do you know what language people actually speak in Denmark?”

Son: “Yeah, they speak English.”

(I would have thought nothing of this had it not been for the fact that we are Danish. Granted, he did speak to several Danish relatives on the phone in English, but still…)

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