A Move Everyone Can Doo!

, , , , | Learning | August 4, 2020

My colleague is singing songs with a group of two-year-olds. She is asking them to think of actions they could do for the song “If You’re Happy And You Know It.” Most of the ideas up to this point have been sensible — jump, wave, etc.

Colleague: “If you’re happy and you know it…”

Two-Year-Old: “POO!”

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Nightmares Eat Pillows

, , , , | Related | July 30, 2020

My four-year-old daughter turns to me with a question.

Daughter: “Papa, what do butterflies eat?”

Me: “Nectar.”

Daughter: “How about grasshoppers?”

Me: “Plants.”

Daughter: “How about…” *pause* “…nightmares?”

Me: “…”

That escalated quickly.

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On The Right (Socio)Path!

, , , , , | Right | July 29, 2020

A woman comes in with her daughter who is probably four or five.

Girl: “Mom, why’s she wearing glasses?”

Me: “Because if I don’t wear glasses I can’t see that wall over there.”

Mother: “See, she’s just like Daddy.”

Girl: *Cheerfully* “But I don’t care about Dad!”

I managed, barely, not to laugh at her mom’s expression at that.

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Sweet, But Fickle

, , , , , | Friendly | July 27, 2020

Two of my mall “friends” are a pair of sisters, a seven-year-old and a three-year-old whose parents run a food stand right outside my store. I have gotten my hair cut very short and bleached it, and they’re both quite shocked. Once they get over it, we’re chatting as usual. 

Three-Year-Old: “Can I have a candy?”

Me: “Did you ask your mom?”

Three-Year-Old: “No.”

Me: “Then you can’t have any candy.”

Three-Year-Old: “Why?”

Me: “Because I’m not giving you candy unless your mom says yes.”

Three-Year-Old: “But why?”

Me: “Because I said so.”

Three-Year-Old: *Narrowing her eyes* “I don’t like your hair.”

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, , , , , , | Right | July 22, 2020

I am a new employee, taking an order from a lady with two children. She wants the popular three-medium-pizza deal.

Customer: *To a child in background* “What do you want on your pizza? Sausage? Okay, one sausage. I want mine to be just cheese.”

She then asks her other child what she wants.

Customer’s Child: “Can I have anything I want?”

Customer: “Yes, honey. Anything!”

Customer’s Child: “Chocolate sprinkles!”

The customer and I had a good laugh over that, and that call made everyone’s day!

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