Becoming A Grandmother Far Too Early

, , , , , | Related | February 24, 2018

(I am a young mother. My youngest son is two and just learning to talk. At this time, my sister-in-law is pregnant, and my sister is trying.)

Son: “Mommy, I’m pregnant.”

Me: “Oh, really? How did that happen?”

Son: “I wanted to try it.”

(I guess we talk about pregnancy too much in our house.)

Jekyll And Hyde And Cat

, , , , , , | Related | February 22, 2018

My three-year-old nephew is playing with a small, stuffed cat toy. He had always had this thing, and he loves it more than anything else.

He is petting it happily, as he always does, when he suddenly gets a furious look on his face and chucks it as hard as he can against the wall. He then calmly walks over, picks the thing up, and exclaims, “Oh no! Someone hurt you! Don’t worry; I’ll protect you.”

He then continues to happily pet it as if nothing happened.

That’s What He Asked

, , , , , | Friendly | February 21, 2018

(My husband and I are at the theater for a popular movie that has recently come out. Even though it’s rated PG-13, there are, of course, a few parents who have brought their young children with them. Five or six seats down from us is a woman with a little boy and girl. The boy is probably around seven or eight years old.)

Character: *in the movie* “That’s what she said!”

Little Boy: “What does that mean, Mommy?”

(He said it loud enough for everyone to hear it and we all lost it. The poor kid couldn’t figure out what was so funny. I heard the flustered mom tell him she’d explain it after the movie. The movie itself was a lot funnier than I was expecting, but that was the funniest part of the whole thing.)

This Doesn’t Add Up

, , , , , | Related | February 19, 2018

(I’m an asexual woman in my late twenties. My dad and stepmom have a six-year-old whom I don’t see much. We’re driving somewhere when, out of nowhere, he decides to start this conversation.)

Step-Brother: “Are you married?”

Me: “No.”

Step-Brother: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: “No. I’m not interested in dating.”

Step-Brother: “You should get a boyfriend so he could do math for you.”

(I’ve been tutoring math at the high school and college level since before he was born, but sure, kid. I’ll change my sexuality, because that’s easier than keeping track of my own grocery budget.)

Every Childhood Has Its Crappy Years

, , , , | Related | February 19, 2018

(I was, and still am, a very sassy child; I’m now 28 with my own sassy three-year-old. This happens when I am about four years old. My mother is trying to make me feel better, over what she can’t remember, and I am giving her attitude.)

Mom: “What’s wrong, babe?”


Mom: “Now, [My Name], calm down.”


Mom: *finally fed up with my attitude* “What the h*** is wrong with you?!”

Me: “Well, if you must know, I can’t s***!”

Mom: *completely loses it laughing*

Page 5/17First...34567...Last
« Previous
Next »