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Then What Does She Think You Are, I Wonder?

, , , , , | Friendly | July 23, 2022

I am shopping with my four-year-old daughter when a store employee walks down the aisle and passes us.

Employee: “Excuse me, ladies.”

My daughter immediately and loudly states:

Daughter: “We are not ladies!”

Maybe Ghosts Are Afraid Of Reptiles

, , , , , , | Right | July 18, 2022

For the past five summers, I’ve worked in a camp’s “petting zoo” room. There are many reasons I love my job, but one of them is the hilarious and adorable things I hear from the kids, especially the youngest.

This boy is about five years old.

Boy: “Where does [Iguana] go at night?”

Me: “All of the animals stay here.”

Boy: “But what if they eat each other?”

Me: “They’re fine; they all stay in their own cages.”

Boy: “But how do you keep them safe?

Me: “What do you think is here at night that could hurt them?”

He pauses for a beat.

Boy: “Ghosts! What if the ghosts get her?”

Me: “Uh… [Iguana] isn’t afraid of ghosts.”

Boy: “Is that because she’s a grownup?”

Me: *Pause* “Yes, that’s it.”

Boy: “Okay.” *Points at a turtle* “Is she afraid of ghosts?”

You Learn Something New And Delicious Every Day!

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: istolethisface | July 18, 2022

I have a new job as a server at a tiny local diner. The place is so small we usually have one server on shift at a time unless it’s a weekend.

I had a young couple come in with their daughter the other day. The little girl looked about five and was super bubbly, chatty, and adorable. The parents were friendly and the little girl was very well behaved.

When I dropped off their food, the little girl decided she couldn’t eat the hot dog because it was on a burger bun. We had run out of the right buns and I did let the parents know and they okayed it. But when you’re five, a hot dog on a burger bun is a sin against God and science, so it was now chicken strips she needed. As I started back to the kitchen, she asked if she would still get fries and said something about liking the animal they come from. I started laughing (so did her folks) and told her she would still get fries, and off I went.

Everything was great after that and, when I went to drop off their bill, I wrote on the back, “What animal does the French fry come from?” A few minutes later, the girl came running up to my counter.

Girl: “The lemon!”

She was excited but trying to be super serious.

Me: “What lemon?”

Girl: “The lemon animal!”

Me: “…makes the French fry?”

Girl: “Yes!”

Translation: “Obviously!”

Me: “Oh, thank you for clearing that up. That’s important information!”

As she ran off, I could hear her parents cracking up, and I had to slip into the back to laugh without hurting the little one’s feelings.

These little moments are why I love this job.

From The Mouths Of Babes (Who Are Really Going Places)

, , , , , | Learning | July 17, 2022

I’m a kindergarten teacher in Singapore. My class of five-year-olds is doing an activity where they tell their dream job and why they want to do that job.

We get the usuals: astronauts, movie stars, and racecar drivers…

Girl: “When I grow up I want to become the Prime Minister of Singapore.”

Me: “Ah, that’s a nice dream. Why?”

Girl: “My daddy says that our Prime Minister is the number-one highest-paid politician in the world. He earns more than number two, three, four, and five combined. That’s why I want to be the Prime Minister. I want to earn all that money and become rich.”

Me: “So, it’s just for the money.”

Girl: “Isn’t that the whole point of being a politician?”

Coworker: “She’s not wrong about that.”

Me: “Yeah, at least she’s honest about it.”

Only A Little Wrong

, , , , , | Related Right | July 15, 2022

I am at the store and witness this interaction between a mother and a young girl probably around six or so. The mom is pushing the cart with the girl walking beside her. They are next to a large, stacked display of products.

Mom: “[Girl] can you grab us a box of [product], please?”

Girl: “Okay!”

The little girl then goes to grab the box at the very bottom of the display.

Mom: “Stop!”

The little girl stops.

Mom: “Let’s think this through. What will happen when you pull that one out?”

Girl: “Then the one above it will fall.”

Mom: “Right, and if that happens, then?”

Girl: “Then they all fall and that makes a mess.”

Mom: “If we make a mess, then what happens?”

Girl: “Then we have to clean up.”

Mom nods. Then, the girl thinks for a moment before quickly pulling out the bottom box. As predicted, it falls and makes a mess.

The mom just looks surprised for a second.

Mom: “Why did you do that?”

Girl: “I’m little. I thought I might have been wrong.”

After she got over her surprise, the mom just laughed and helped the little girl put the display back.