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Are You Shore?

, , , , , , | Related | July 31, 2021

This happened back in the 1970s. I was nearly five and my little sister would have been about three. After growing up in London, we had just moved to a small town.

Mum was taking my sister and me on our first trip to the shops in this new town. My sister was in her buggy and I was walking by the side. As we walked over the crest of a hill, something flat and grey-blue came into view, although neither my sister nor I paid any attention to it until Mum asked us about it.

Mum: “Do you see that blue thing in the distance?”

Sister & Me: “Yes, Mummy?”

Mum: “Do you know what it is?”

Our guesses included a stream, a river, a pond, and a lake until, eventually…

Me: “Mummy, is it the sea?”

Mum: “Yes!”

Sister & Me: “Wow!”

When we were growing up in London, Mum and Dad didn’t have a car, so going to the beach was a very rare event — maybe once a year — so Sis and I were quite taken with this knowledge that we were near the coast.

That night, when Sis and I were in our rooms, Mum came to check that we were asleep and was quite surprised to see me awake. I was really worried.

Mum: “Are you all right?”

Me: “You know the sea, Mummy?”

Mum: “Yes, dear?”

Me: “Will it still be there tomorrow?”

The Truth Is Piercing

, , , | Right | July 28, 2021

I’m working at the jewelry counter at a big box store. My coworker is preparing to pierce a little girl’s ears.

Coworker: “So, who is this that is here with you?”

Lady: “I’m her aunt.”

Coworker: “And you’re her legal guardian?”

Lady: “Yes.”

Little Girl: *Happily* “My mom’s in jail!”

The Biggest (And Cutest) Mood

, , , , , | Related | July 2, 2021

We have two small children, ages five and three. One morning, we are eating breakfast.

Three-Year-Old: *Quietly* “Mommy, are we going out today?”

Me: “Yes, we will soon go to kindergarten.”

The five-year-old slams their fist on the table.

Five-Year-Old: *Loudly* “Not again!”

The three-year-old gently puts their fist on the table.

Three-Year-Old: *Whispering* “Not again.”

Yeah, kids, I know the feeling.

For the record, the kids love their kindergarten and have absolutely no issues going there. They just hate waking up early to prepare for it.

That Country Road Is Different From How I Remember

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2021

I am checking out a mother and her young daughter, likely kindergarten age. The mother is distracted with a young baby in a stroller but the daughter is diligently passing the items to me.

I am surprised when I hear the daughter humming “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver!

Me: “Oh, that’s one of my favorite tunes!”

Young Girl: “Me, too! We learned it in school today! Look, I even made a picture!”

The young girl then magically produces a piece of paper with bright marker stick people and the name of the song on top. Immediately, I notice a couple of things: the word “Home” is missing an M, and more importantly, the word “Country” is missing an O.

Me: “Oh… that’s… lovely.”

The mother realizes what is happening and snatches the artwork from her daughter.

Mother: “No, [Young Girl]! This is special art for Mommy’s eyes only, remember!”

Complete With A Swirl And A Smile

, , | Related | June 8, 2021

Our two kids have just gotten a small ice cream each.

Four-Year-Old: “Mommy, Mommy, what is this?”

They point at the dark-chocolate-covered top of the ice cream. The four-year-old chirps in a happy tune that only children can come up with.

Four-Year-Old: “It’s poo-coloured!”

They had no idea why I started laughing out loud.