A woman with a seeing-eye dog gets in line at the fast food place where I work. An older woman and her granddaughter are in line ahead of her.

Customer’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, look! A doggie!”

Customer: “Ugh! That’s terrible!” *Pointing at me* “You! Call a manager! Someone has bought their dog into the restaurant!”

Me: “That’s a service animal, ma’am. They’re allowed in here.”

Customer With The Dog: “This is a working animal, ma’am. He’s here to help me.”

Customer: “That is not a working animal!”

Customer With The Dog: “And how would you know?”

Customer: “He is not working! He looks too happy!”

Customer With The Dog: “That… makes no sense. He’s working, and he’s allowed to be here by law, regardless of how happy you think he looks.”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, I don’t look that happy at work!”

Customer’s Granddaughter: *With childlike innocence* “Grandma, you don’t look happy anywhere!”

I’m glad I wasn’t on my break as I would have spat out my coffee!

My daughter is autistic, and her therapists suggested scheduling play dates with neurotypical kids so she can learn social cues from them. I don’t know a lot of parents outside of my daughter’s school… and the dojo where I learn karate. My classmates will bring their kids and let them play while we do our class, so it’s a good fit. And the kids love [Daughter]. 

The only problem is [Daughter]’s lack of situational awareness. When she needs Mommy or wants to play in the mat area, she doesn’t care if adults are swinging weapons and each other around.

Luckily, [Daughter] also responds to bribery, so I promised her a Happy Meal (the height of rewards for a kid) if she behaves and stays out of the mat area during class.

During drills one night, I looked over to see four of the kids holding my daughter back from the mats. One of them dramatically shouted:

Kid: “Don’t do it, [Daughter]! Think about the Happy Meal!” 

The entire dojo burst into laughter. I found out what she wanted (just a hug), and she’s since learned she can call out to me for assistance.

Thanksgiving of 2023 was rough on my two-year-old nephew. His house was full of strange people, Mommy was too busy to pick him up, he had to share his swingset, Dada was ALSO too busy to pick him up, and the adults TURNED HIS CARTOONS OFF to watch football. 

Dinner itself went well, Mommy and Dada were able to pay more attention to him once the meal was over, and he even warmed up a little to some of the less familiar family members in the house, but he remained fussy.

And then, he latched onto a word that the grownups around the kitchen counter were repeating: “mimosa.” The grownups kept saying this word and drinking something that looked pretty good, so, naturally…

Nephew: *Whining* “I wan’ ‘mosa! Wan’ ‘mosa!”

He was quickly picked up by Mommy, given a cup of orange juice, and allowed to do “cheers” with the grownups. He happily drank his “mosa” while the grownups had their mimosas.

My husband took my son, age eight, camping for five days, and they had a fantastic time hiking, climbing, and getting very, very dirty. On their way home, we met up at the grandparents’ house to celebrate a cousin’s birthday.

I asked my son to go take a shower before we ate because he was so grubby. He didn’t want to, but he agreed that he’d do it after he had cake and ice cream. We ate, we sang “Happy Birthday”, and we had dessert.

Me: “Now you have to go take a shower.”

Son: “No, I don’t. You said I had to do it after cake and ice cream, so I only ate ice cream.”

I am working the checkout, and today, the computer is being temperamental. It means I have to scan a little slower than usual, and most customers seem to take this in their stride. One customer, however, an older man, seems to be taking personal offense to this.

Customer: “Oh, my God! Could you go any slower?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the machine isn’t allowing me to scan too fast or it’ll freeze.”

Customer: “Jesus f****** Christ! I have places to be, you stupid woman!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t want this transaction to last any longer than you do!”

Customer: “You stupid—”

As the customer is about to continue being a jerk, a child steps up to him. He’s a little boy, maybe four or five, and his mother is the customer immediately behind this jerk.

Little Kid: *Creepily, while pointing at the jerk customer* “Nothing at all!”

Customer: “What?!”

Little Kid: *Still pointing, and somehow even more intense* “Nothing at all!”

Customer: “What are you… what… what are you doing?”

The mother comes up and puts her hands on the kid’s shoulders.

Mother: “Sorry, I just taught him that if you don’t have anything nice to say to a nasty person, then you say nothing at all.”

Little Kid: “Nothing at all!“

Mother: “The misunderstanding is my fault, but, well… he has a point, don’t you think?”

The jerk customer glared at all of us, except the child; he somehow couldn’t make eye contact with the little boy who had called out his bad behavior. He finished our transaction in silence and grumpily grabbed his groceries. 

Mother and child got a staff discount!