Work Experience Can Shape Generations

, , , , | Friendly | March 3, 2018

(I’m in my local library on the computers searching for a book, when I hear a child yell suddenly and feel someone tug at the back of my shirt.)

Boy: “HEY, LADY!”

(I turn around to see a little boy I worked with at his preschool while doing work experience.)

Boy: “I know you. You were a teacher at my school. You were teaching with Mrs. [Teacher].” *turns to dad* “Dad! Dad, this is Miss [My Name]; she was at my school.”

(The dad and I nod to each other.)

Me: “Hi there, [Boy]. I sure was! I had lots of fun with you guys, too. Want to know something pretty cool?” *the boy nods* “Your teacher, Mrs. [Teacher], was my teacher when I was little.”

(His eyes go really wide.)

Boy: “Wow, you’re really old!”

(His dad laughed and told him they had to go. I guess 16 is really old to a four-year-old.)

The Number One Reason Why That Happens

, , , | Related | February 28, 2018

(I’m a biology graduate. I’m at the seaside with my five-year-old daughter, trying to teach her how warm-blooded animals regulate their body temperature.)

Me: “So, have you noticed when you went into the water it felt freezing, but now it feels warm?”

Daughter: “Um… Yes?”

Me: “Do you know why that is?”

Daughter: “Because I peed in it?”

They Love The Ones They Can’t Admit The Most

, , , , | Related | February 28, 2018

(My four-year-old daughter loves to sing and to improvise lyrics. On this occasion we have been celebrating Mother’s Day and we are driving home from visiting her grandparents. I’m sitting next to her in the car.)

Daughter: “Can I sing a song for you, Mamma?”

Me: “Oh, yes, of course!” *expecting something lovely and cute, about Mother’s Day*

Daughter: *singing while keeping eye contact* “Oh, Mamma, you are so beautifuuuul, but I don’t love youuuuu. I love [Best Friend #1], [Best Friend #2], [Her Cousin], and [Daycare Worker]… aaaaand Papa! Wasn’t that a nice song, Mamma?”

Me: “Yes, it was. Yes. It. Was. I’m a bit sad that you don’t love me, but I liked your song, and you sing it so nicely!”

Daughter: “I’m fond of you, Mamma, but I love Papa the most.”

(I know she loves me, though. She’s just not very pleased with my parenting strategies nowadays.)

Back Then They Had Very Hard Drives

, , , , , | Related | February 27, 2018

(I am explaining to my five-year-old daughter that computers were different when I was her age. She interrupts me:)

Daughter: “Dad, I know all about that. They were called sex machines.”

(I look at her, trying to figure out what she has been told, when she suddenly seems confused.)

Daughter: “Or was it fax machines?”

Slashing The Chances Of Dating An A**hole

, , , , , | Romantic | February 26, 2018

(I have a coworker who’s friendly and cute, and we’ve hung out a few times unofficially. One day, I stop by his place on his day off to pick something up. He pats me on the shoulder as he walks by. His daughter, who is laying on the couch at the time, sees him do this. Once he’s out of the room, she props herself up on one arm and peers at me.)

Daughter: “Are you Daddy’s new boyfriend?”

Me: *unable to tell if this is a trap or not* “We work together.”

Daughter: “That’s not a no.”

Me: *hesitantly* “Okay, um, I don’t know yet. I guess we’re still testing the waters. He’s nice enough, so I wouldn’t object if he were interested. Would you?”

Daughter: *suspiciously* “His last boyfriend was an a**hole. Are you an a**hole?”

Me: “I… I try not to be.”

Daughter: *narrows her eyes* “You break his heart, I’ll slash your tires.”

Me: *studying her carefully* “I believe you.”

Daughter: “Smart boy.”

(With that, she lay back down as her father came back in. I officially asked him out later that week. Two years later, my tires remain un-slashed.)

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