Time To Teach Them About Time

, , , , , | Learning | June 19, 2018

(While in high school, I work a couple days a week at a daycare after school. I am with the first- and second-graders, waiting for the older kids to join us.)

Second-Grader #1: “Are you a mom yet?”

Me: “Oh, no, I am still in school. I got to [High School that these kids have visited on a field trip].”

Second-Grader #2: “Isn’t that, like, really far away?”

Me: “Not really; it’s only about twenty minutes away from here.”

Second-Grader #1: “Wow… That’s like an hour!”

Toying With The Court

, , , , , , | Related | June 19, 2018

(My husband and I are having dinner with our three-year-old daughter.)

Husband: “I saw today that [Store] has gotten a new variety of [Toy].”

Me: “[Daughter] has enough toys.”

Husband: “Is that so? Do you have enough toys, [Daughter]?”

Daughter: “Yes!”

Husband: “Can I have that in writing?”

Daughter: “No!”

Today Is All Sixes And Sevens

, , , , | Related | June 14, 2018

(It is my daughter’s birthday and she asked for a trip to a particular museum this year. This one requires an entrance fee. Children six and under are free. It’s a long shot, but I try to distract my precocious and overly friendly child while her father manages the tickets.)

Daughter: *to cashier* “It’s my birthday!”

Cashier: “Today? Well, then, happy birthday! How old are you?”

(My husband and I exchange glances. We know what is coming.)

Daughter: “I’m SEVEN!”

(My husband pulls out his wallet to pay.)

Husband: “Two adults… and one child, please.”

Me: “We should have come yesterday.”

When In Love, There Is No “Maybe”

, , , , , | Romantic | June 13, 2018

(My 16-year-old sister and her boyfriend are sitting together before church. A young girl who is in the Sunday school class my sister teaches walks up to them. My sister is shy and very easily embarrassed.)

Girl: “Hi, [Sister]! Hey, who’s that?”

Sister: “Oh, this is [Boyfriend].”

Girl: “Oh, okay.” *pauses* “Wait, is he your boyfriend?

Sister: *blushing furiously* “Er… Yes.”

Girl: *delighted* “Are you in love with each other?”

Sister: “Uh… Um… Heh… I really don’t know how to answer that—”

(The girl reaches out and pats her on the shoulder.)

Girl: “You just say yes, or no!”

Deaf To Your Wit

, , , , , | Friendly | June 13, 2018

(My mother is a children’s librarian at the public library. Sometimes I volunteer to help out during story time. My mother’s coworker has the day off, and she and her six-year-old daughter come in. The little girl has a hearing impairment that requires her to wear hearing aids. As I’m supervising the kids during crafts, I hear this gem:)

Little Boy: *running around before he stops and taps her on the shoulder* “Hey, what are those things on your ears?”

Coworker’s Daughter: *turns around to address him* “They’re my hearing devices. They help me listen. You could probably use some.” *turns back around and goes back to her craft*

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