The Latest Series Is Pokémon: Budgeting And Accounting

, , , , , , | Right | January 11, 2018

(I’m in a store that sells Pokémon cards, and I overhear this conversation between two little boys:)

Boy #1: ” Uh-oh. These ones cost more than the others!”

Boy #2: “It’s okay; I budgeted for this.”

And Jojo Was Her Name-o

, , , , , , | Learning | January 6, 2018

(Years ago, when my youngest aunt first attended school, she had until then been called “Jojo” by family and friends instead of her birth name. This wasn’t an issue until she started school.)

Teacher: “[Aunt]? [Aunt]? I guess she’s absent.”

(After roll call is done, my aunt raises her hand.)

Aunt: “You didn’t call me!”

Teacher: “I didn’t? What’s your name?”

Aunt: “Jojo!”

Teacher: “There’s no Jojo on the list; your name can’t be Jojo.”

Aunt: *getting upset now* “Yes, I am! I’m Jojo!”

Teacher: *light bulb goes off* “The only absent person is [Aunt], are you [Aunt]?”

Aunt: “NO! I am Jojo! My name’s Jojo!”

Teacher: “[Surname] is your last name, right?”

Aunt: “Yes!”

Teacher: “Then you’re [Aunt].”

Aunt: “NO! I said my name is Jojo!”

(She then proceeds to have a full-on tantrum, so the teacher drags her to the office and calls my grandmother to try to resolve the issue. My grandmother just laughs.)

Grandmother: “OH! Jojo is her nickname. I didn’t realize we were only calling her that. Yes, this is [Aunt].”

Aunt: *stomps her foot* “Mooooooom! You’re dumb! My. Name. Is. Jojo!”

(Forty years later, the family will not let my aunt live it down.)

How To Out-Baby A Baby

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | January 3, 2018

(I’m out shopping with my toddler when a woman suddenly stops in front of us with her cart. That’s when I notice that she’s gently tugging at her preschool aged daughter’s hand, trying to make her move out of the way of passers-by.)

Woman: “Come on, [Little Girl]. We’ve got to get home to make lunch for Daddy.”

Little Girl: *trying to pull her hand out of her mother’s grip* “No! I want to play that!”

(The little girl points at the claw machine near the front of the store and the woman sighs.)

Woman: “Not today, [Little Girl]. I don’t have any change to play it. We’ll have to play it next time.”

(At this point, the little girl sits down and crosses her arms and begins to pout.)

Little Girl: *sniffles and pretends to cry* “You’re so mean, Mommy!”

(At this point my toddler, who has been very intently watching the whole exchange, shakes his head.)

Toddler: *loudly as he points at the little girl* “Oh, no, no, no!”

(I can feel my face burning as I blush because my toddler is seemingly admonishing the little girl’s tantrum. The woman notices and points it out to her little girl.)

Woman: “Look at that! That little boy thinks you’re being bad!” *to me* “How old is he?”

Me: “He’s not quite two years old.”

Woman: “Did you hear that, [Little Girl]? You’re acting worse than that little baby right now. I thought you were my big girl.”

Little Girl: *quickly leaps to her feet* “I am a big girl! I’m sorry, Mommy!”

(The little girl then grabs her mother’s hand and skips out of the store alongside her.)

Me: *to my son* “I hope you stay this well-behaved for a long time yet.”

Toddler: *smiling* “Oh, nooo!”

Talk Again And This Toddler Will Invoke Ragnarok

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 29, 2017

(It’s the week “Thor: Ragnarok” comes out. It’s a weekday afternoon, so far less crowded than other days, but there are still some people in the IMAX, including a mother with her toddler-aged son sitting in the row in front of us. He may be a little older, but he’s definitely not school-aged yet. A family including a son of about seven or eight comes in just before the movie starts, and they sit right next to us. Not long after the movie starts, the boy starts talking nonstop, and this continues for several minutes with no action from the parents. Finally, at a particularly quiet part of the movie, the toddler turns around.)

Toddler: “You’re not supposed to talk during a movie. You might bother other people.”

(He turns back around in his seat.)

Toddler: “Sorry, Mommy. I talked. I won’t do it again.”

(Never have I seen two parents look so ashamed, as the dad quickly grabbed his son and rushed him out. Though, who can blame them, after having their school-aged child be lectured on manners by a little boy? The dad and son soon returned to the theater, where the kid didn’t talk again the whole movie, other than asking to go to the bathroom. I really hope the little boy’s mother was proud, because that’s some good parenting in action!)

This Christmas, Give The Gift Of Knowledge

, , , , , | Related | December 22, 2017

(We are sitting at the breakfast table.)

Young Brother: “[My Name], what’s the moon phase?”

(I start explaining the phases of the moon in great detail. Then, I start talking about Jupiter’s moons. Then, I start taking about Zeus [Jupiter] in mythology.)

Young Brother: *to Mom* “I know what I want to get with my Christmas money.”

Mom: “What?”

Young Brother: *pointing at me* “A muzzle.”

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