(I’m in the living room. My daughter is playing in the apartment next door with her best friend. She bursts into the living room.)

Daughter: “Mom! Mom! Can I go down on [Little Girl who lives next door] at the pool?”

Me: “What?”

Daughter: “Yeah, [Neighbor] said she’d take us to the pool if you said it was okay! Can I take my water noodle?”

Me: “Oh, you want to go down to the pool with your friend?”

Daughter: “Yeah, isn’t that what I said?”

Me: “Remind me to have a long talk about the importance of prepositions when you get back.”

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(My family are all at Disneyland Paris on holiday. We all love Disney movies, and my youngest brother is currently obsessed with “Finding Nemo.” He is about three years old.)

Sister: “Let’s go on ‘It’s A Small World’!”

(“It’s A Small World” is a boat ride with water. My youngest brother is entranced by the singing dolls, but then he notices the water. He looks at it for a moment. Then he looks at the stuffed Nemo plushie he’s holding.)

Brother: “Nemo, go home!”

(He tries to throw Nemo out of the boat.)

Everyone: “NO!”

(My mum grabs the toy and stops him.)

Brother: “But all drains lead to the sea!”

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(I’m three and have been wanting a dog for the whole year. Finally, it is Christmas morning, and there is a green box with holes in it near the Christmas tree.)

Mom: “Open it, sweetie. What’s in there?”

Me: *deadpan* “It’s a dog. Now, where is my candy?”

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(My family is celebrating Christmas Eve. My two little cousins, six and eight, are having a dispute, and my uncle tries to rebuke them.)

Uncle: “Girls, play nice. Remember, Santa’s watching!”

Six-Year-Old: *without skipping a beat* “He’s not watching anymore. He’s already delivering!”

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I am walking into a store with my two daughters. The younger one, who is seven, is going through the list of relatives she wants to buy Christmas gifts for. As she gets to “Grandma,” she looks up at her big sister.

Daughter: “Help me find some old lady clothes for Grandma!”

This story is part of the Family-At-Christmas Roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Crazy Stories About Mothers-In-Law, And The Interesting Relationships We Have With Them

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