The Ring Doesn’t Rule Them All

, , , , | Friendly | March 4, 2015

(I am talking with a friend of mine at our live action role playing meeting.)

Me: “…so then we were going to do a Ravenloft thing but it never happened.”

Friend: “What’s Ravenloft? Is that another kingdom?”

(Chapters are referred to as shires, baronies, and duchies based on size. Kingdom represents an overseeing organization that handles rules, mundane business details, and other such things for multiple chapters.)

Me: “Umm, no, it’s a Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting.”

Friend: “Oh, hmm, I hadn’t heard of it. I don’t play D&D.”

Me: “Really? Do you read fantasy novels?”

Friend: “Not usually.”

Me: “You at least know who Tolkien is, right?”

Friend: “No, what Kingdom is he from?”

Me: “He wrote the Lord of the Rings, which sort of started the whole fantasy genre.”

Friend: “Oh.”

Me: “You mean this is the first fantasy thing you’ve done? You realize, this is near the deep end of geekdom right?”

(Since then he’s gotten heavily geeked out. Most recently, I’ve seen him cosplaying as Bebop from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.)

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A Tempting Melody

, | Friendly | January 30, 2015

(At choir practice, my friend and I are talking about our parts in the song we’re about to sing. She is an alto and I am a soprano.)

Friend: “Ugh, alto.”

Me: “Come to the high side. We have awesome melodies.”

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Baptism By Fire

, | Friendly | June 25, 2014

(This exchange occurs during a game of Catchphrase, a game kind of like Taboo, where you describe a word without saying the word in order to get other players on your team to guess it. Friend #1 is describing the word, while the rest of us are guessing.)

Friend #1: “You put children in this and they cry…”

Friend #2: “FIRE!”

(Everyone looks at Friend #2.)

Friend #2: “Well, I hear ‘children’ and ‘cry’…”

(The word was apparently ‘playpen.’)

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Stupid Friends Are A Hobbitual Hazard

, | Friendly | April 11, 2014

(We’re having a movie night at the youth club, and a couple of counselors and I are discussing movies. I’m a 20-year-old female, Friend #1 is a 16-year-old female and Friend #2 is a 15-year-old male.)

Friend #1: *after Friend #2 and I discussed ‘127 Hours’* “No, I don’t want to see that! Why would you tell me how it ends?”

Me: “Really? It’s based on a 10-year-old real event; it’s not like it’s a spoiler.”

Friend #1: “It is when I haven’t heard the story!”

Me: “There was even a book about it. It’s like when people complain about The Hobbit spoilers when the book came out 70 years ago.”

Friend #1: “The book and the movie are two different things!”

Me: “No, not really.”

Friend #1: “Whatever. What’s this about?” *picks up movie*

Friend #2: “It’s your typical surfer movie. You know, all about catching that big wave.”

Friend #1: “Are there any cute guys in it?”

Friend #2: “Sure.”

Me: “Yeah, him!” *points to the male lead*

Friend #1: “Really? Who is he?”

Me: “You’re kidding, right? That’s Gerard Butler.”

Friend #1: “Don’t know him. Wait, his name is Butler? Isn’t that like a house-cleaner person?”

Me: “Do I even know you?”

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Actually, There’s Probably An App For That

, , | Right | August 11, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I installed the purple bird!”

Me: “Purple bird… You mean Pidgin? Yeah, it’s pretty cool. How can I help you with that today?”

Caller: “My buddy list is empty.”

Me: “Maybe none of your friends are online right now?”

Caller: “It doesn’t COME with friends?!”

Me: “No, sir…”

Caller: *click*

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