(I am in a community theater play that is set in the 1970s. We’re asked to try to find period clothes. I come in wearing a suit from the time.)
Cast Member: “That is one ugly suit!”
Me: “Yeah.”
Cast Member: “I’m serious. It’s like something Pee Wee Herman would wear. Where did you get it?”
Me: “It’s the suit my dad got married in.”
(My family is from Texas. My dad becomes friends with a boisterous — and heavily accented — New Yorker, and the three of us go to dinner. My dad is in the restroom when this conversation occurs.)
New Yorker: “You ever watch p*rn stahs?”
Me: “Uh… no…”
New Yorker: “What?! I love it! I watch p*rn stahs all the time!”
(I’m getting pretty uncomfortable at this point, and I’m really hoping my dad comes back to the table soon. Suddenly, it clicks.)
Me: “OH! Pawn Stars!”
New Yorker: “Yeah! P*rn Stahs!”
(I told him what I thought he was saying and we ended up laughing all night about the misunderstanding.)
Me: “Have you watched Avengers: Endgame yet?”
Friend: “Not yet. I’m going to watch it this coming weekend. I’m so excited!”
Me: “Oh, man, you’re going to have a great time. I find that it wraps things up quite nicely.”
Friend: “Oh, yeah?”
Me: “Yeah. You might feel a few sore spots, too. Unfortunately, Batman ends up dying.”
Friend: *seething with rage* “DUDE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”
Me: “D-do what?”
Friend: “YOU JUST F****** SPOILED ENDGAME FOR ME! WHAT THE H***? NOT COOL, MAN!”
Me: “How did I spoil it? What did I actually say?”
Friend: “YOU JUST SAID THAT BATMAN D– Oh, godd*** it!”
(I’m on a bus trip around parts of South Australia’s wine region with 22 other young adults from my church from around Australia, only six of whom I know from Western Australia. Others are from Sydney, Melbourne, Queensland, and South Australia. It’s our first night, and we jump on our tour bus to go to dinner. I sit next to a young woman from Melbourne and we start chatting.)
New Friend: “Hey, I’m [New Friend]. I’m from Melbourne; where are you from?”
Me: “I’m [My Name]. I’m from Perth. I love Melbourne, especially the Dandenong Ranges where my Aunty [Aunt] lives. My Uncle [Uncle] lives somewhere there, too.”
(She gives me a quizzical look.)
New Friend: “What’s your uncle’s last name?”
Me: “[Last Name], why?”
(She starts laughing.)
New Friend: “Hello, cousin.”
Me: “Wait, what? Are you serious?”
New Friend: “Yep, your uncle’s wife, [Aunt], is my aunt.”
Me: “Holy crap, that’s so cool!”
(We all had a great time on the trip, and thanks to Facebook, my cousin and I are able to keep in touch. Gotta love random family encounters.)
My friend’s boyfriend is deaf but prefers to read lips rather than sign. I was at his graduation party, and he was reading the cards and opening the gifts in front of a few of us. He came across one card from one of my friend’s relatives.
When he opened the card, James Brown’s “I Feel Good” started playing. Some of us chuckled, some of us danced and sang. The boyfriend asked what was going on. We explained that it was a singing card, and he politely chuckled and thanked the relative, who wasn’t present that day.
Another friend turned to me and said, “Did they really give a music card to a deaf guy?”
