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Fraudulent Claims

, , , , | Working | August 7, 2014

Me: “I need to pull out £500 for my mum; she’s sick and can’t get here. I have her card and PIN but her daily limit from the cash machine is £250.”

Cashier: “You can’t make transactions on someone else’s account. That’s fraud.”

Me: “Okay, but she gave me her card and she can’t get here.”

Cashier: “Well, you can always pull out £250 today and £250 tomorrow from the cash machine. That would work.”

Me: “Okay… Why can’t I do it over the counter? You use the PIN to verify the transaction.”

Cashier: “Because that’s fraud.”

Me: “So, it’s not fraud for me to get exactly the same amount out of the machine?”

Cashier: *fixing me with a hard stare* “Bank customers should never reveal their PIN to anyone.”

Me: “But you just told me to get the money out of the machine…”

Cashier: “That’s FRAUD.”

Me: “Okay, then… Bye…”

(I got the money from the machine with no problem at all.)

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Menage A Fraud

, , , , , , | Right | November 12, 2009

(I am filling out a fraudulent charge claim for a customer.)

Customer: “There’s a charge on my statement for some medical thing and I never bought it.”

(Note: the ‘medical thing’ is for ‘male enhancement.’)

Me: “Okay, we can go ahead and file a fraud claim for you. So, just to verify, you never purchased anything from this company, correct?”

Customer: “I never got anything from them!”

Me: “Okay, so you purchased it, but you didn’t receive it?”

Customer: “Well, it didn’t work! Not that I need it.”

Me: “Okay, so you did receive it?”

Customer: “No! I didn’t order it! I don’t need it! And it didn’t work!”

Me: “Sir, you have to pick one. You didn’t order it, you didn’t receive it, or it didn’t work. But it has to be one; it can’t be all three.”

Customer: “All of them!”